


Falling Forwards in a Backwards Land

by Lyri



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Attempted Murder, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, Character Death, F/F, Kidnapping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-19
Updated: 2013-06-19
Packaged: 2017-12-15 12:18:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 79,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/849490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyri/pseuds/Lyri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared Padalecki - better known to his fans as PJ Tristan - is the best top in the business. Everyone wants to work with him and Jared has made more than a few careers in his 10 years in the porn world and his fans love him. But there's one fan in particular who has taken his obsession with Jared to a whole new level. Wanting to escape his stalker and the New York lifestyle, Jared takes a job with Danneel, at JADA Studios in LA, the biggest porn studio on the West Coast. There, he meets Jensen, Danneel's partner in most senses of the word, and finds the one thing that's been missing in his life. But after tracking Jared down, the stalker isn't happy about Jared choosing to be with someone else, and ups his game. And not everyone makes it out in one piece.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling Forwards in a Backwards Land

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【授权翻译】Falling Forwards in a Backwards Land |by Lyri](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1987932) by [whiyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiyn/pseuds/whiyn)



There’s a letter in Jared’s mailbox when he gets home from filming one day.

There’s no stamp, no postmark, only his name – his real name – marring the perfect whiteness, just like all the others, and Jared’s sweaty and gross and he feels like someone ran him over with a train and he really doesn’t want to deal with all of this right now.

He takes the envelope and pushes open his front door, standing in the living room, taking it all in. It’s a loft apartment on the Upper West Side, spacious and inviting, and it cost Jared his salary from two movies. 

He’s going to miss it.

The cardboard boxes are still in the hall closet and he pulls them out and puts them back together before he tears the envelope open and reads the letter.

Same as all the others, one plain white piece of paper with simple black letters in a clear typeface, and he’s not really surprised.

_I don’t understand why you insist on running away. You have to know by now that I’ll always find you. We’re destined to be together, Jared._

He’s been in this apartment less than a year. Whoever this guy is, he’s certainly tenacious.

Jared sits on the floor and stares at the boxes. He’s finished with his latest film, isn’t contracted for anymore, not with that studio anyway, so maybe now is a good time to leave. Really leave, leave the State, not just move from one borough to another, like he’s been doing since this guy started stalking him a year and a half ago.

He remembers the conversation he had at the Adult Movie Awards two years ago, with the head of JADA Studios. Danneel Ackles had offered him an exclusive contract, something lucrative and amazing, the likes of which Jared had never seen before. It included a producer’s credit on any and all films he made with them and his choice of scripts, and more deals than Jared’s ever been offered in his ten years in the business.

At the time, he’d had to turn the offer down. He’d been locked into something with one of the East Coast studios and despite Mrs. Ackles’ offer to get him out of it, Jared knows better than to rock any boats in this industry.

But, he’s not with any studio now, in fact, he’s a free agent, and maybe, considering the letter that’s still in his hands, relocating to the West Coast would be the best thing for him right how.

Actually, the best thing for him would be to get out of the porn industry altogether, but it’s not like Jared has any other skills that he can fall back on, and isn’t that just depressing?

Still, Jared has a plan and it’s not nearly time for him to call it quits yet, but maybe, with the contract from JADA, he could get a little bit closer. And a move to California would be good, something different, and Lord knows Tom will be happy. Jared’s friend and assistant hates the cold, New York winters, despite the guy living his whole life on the East Coast.

He reaches for his cellphone and pulls up the number Danneel Ackles had given to him that night and hits the call button. 

Even as he listens to the ringing, waiting for someone on the other end to answer, Jared’s mind drifts to the other memory he has of that night and the perfectly perfect man he’d met at the bar.

Tall, light brown hair, eyes so green that Jared had felt like he was drowning for a few seconds, and he was the most beautiful man Jared had ever seen in real life.

No, screw that. He was the most beautiful man Jared had ever seen, _period_.

They’d talked for hours, sitting there at the bar surrounded by porn stars and make-up artists and writers and sound guys, all of them looking exactly like what one would expect someone in the porn industry to look like.

Except that guy.

He looked smart and confident, completely at home in his own skin, not like he was trying to impress anybody by who he is or what he does.

He wasn’t an actor, because, really, Jared would have remembered seeing that face, would have hunted down every damn movie the guy ever made if that had been the case. But it wasn’t, and when Jared had asked, the guy had just smiled, shaken his head and ordered them another drink.

Then, just as he was getting ready to ask for the guy’s phone number, ask if he wanted to go get something to eat, something, anything that would mean the night never ended, another guy had come running up to them, the jacket of his tuxedo missing and his tie askew. He’d leaned down, whispered in the guy’s ear and Jared had watched his whole face shut down.

And then he was gone. 

Jared didn’t even know his name.

His call is answered, pulling him back to the present.

_“Danneel Ackles’ office, Sophia speaking.”_

///

Danneel’s clicking through the calendar on her computer, trying to figure out how she’s going to reschedule the shoot that’s supposed to start filming tomorrow now that the farmer whose land they were going to use has gotten cold feet about having a porn movie filmed on his property. Danneel would almost bet money on his wife being behind the rethink.

Her intercom buzzes.

“Yeah?”

_“Uh, Dan, I have a Jared…Jared Pada-something on the line.”_

Danneel stops clicking, her whole body freezing completely.

_“He says you’ll know who he is, but…did he have an appointment? Was I supposed to call him or something?”_

Danneel dives for the intercom. “Put him through!” she practically screams.

_“You know who this guy is?”_

“He is PJ Tristan!” More yelling. 

There’s silence from Sophia’s desk, then, _“Oh…OH!”_ She hangs up the intercom and then the phone on Danneel’s desk is ringing. She takes a deep breath, smoothing down her hair and straightening her shirt before she picks it up.

“Mr. Padalecki, so good to hear from you.”

///

Tom lets himself into Jared’s apartment with the key Jared gave him the day he signed the lease for the place and he wonders vaguely what Tom has done with all the other keys to all the other apartments Jared’s lived in over the last year and a half.

“Hey, man,” he calls out around a mouthful of something. “Thought you were gonna call me after the shoot was finished? What happen- oh.”

Jared doesn’t bother answering; while spacious, the loft only really has one huge room, the kitchen and dining area separated by a long breakfast bar and strategic furniture placements zoning off the living room from the bedroom. Besides, with the empty cardboard boxes waiting to be filled and the suitcases Jared has already packed, it’s probably pretty obvious what’s going on.

“Really, Jared? He found you again?”

Jared just shrugs, refusing to let Tom see just how scared he actually is, keeping his back to his friend as he takes all of his shoes from the closet.

He can hear Tom moving across the room and Jared knows he’s going for the shoe box that’s sitting on the dresser, the shoe box that contains every single letter he’s ever received.

“Where was it?” Tom asks as he unfolds the note, his voice tight with barely repressed anger.

“Mailbox,” Jared answers. “Found it when I got home; wasn’t there when I left this morning.”

“You talk to anyone new on set yesterday?” Tom’s always been practical, always asking sensible questions after every letter arrived, but it never does any good. No matter how careful they are, the stalker still manages to track Jared down and they’re no closer to finding out who he is than they were when the first letter was stuck underneath the wiper blade of Jared’s SUV just short of two years ago.

“No, Jared replies to Tom’s question, “it was a closed set, same set up as the last two shoots. All the crew was the same.”

“What about your co-star?”

“Mike. He’s been around the block, but I’ve only worked with him a few times.”

“You’re sure it couldn’t be him?”

Jared sighs. “Tom, Michael Rosenbaum has been in the business for over almost fifteen years. I’m pretty sure he’s above stalking someone.”

“He maybe not be, especially if he thinks you’re getting roles that should be his.”

Jared drops the pile of underwear he just pulled out of a drawer onto the bed and turns to glare at Tom. “Dude, I’m a professional top. You read the script for that shoot. If Mike were also a top, do you really think he could have been my co-star?”

Tom blushes. “Oh, he’s a…right. Sorry. I thought maybe he switched, you know?”

Tom isn’t in the porn business; never has been and never will be, but he’s happy to handle Jared’s – PJ’s – fan mail, even if he is slightly naïve about some things.

Being straight doesn’t help Tom’s understanding of the intricacies of the gay porn world either, but it doesn’t stop him sleeping with as many female porn stars as he can find. So far, Erica Durace got the highest marks from him.

Jared manages a short chuckle. “He’s a bottom, yes. Don’t think he’d know what to do if someone handed him a top’s role.”

He grimaces; the same thing could be said for Jared, after all. No one expected the highest paid top on the East Coast to willingly bend over, if he found the right person.

The bitch of it is, Jared’s never found the right person.

Tom’s face suddenly sobers and he places the lid back on the box of letters. “Okay, then. Have you found an apartment yet? Or is this just a reaction to the letter? Do you want me to get you a hotel suite somewhere?”

“No, I know where I’m going.” Jared swallows hard. He’s not looking forward to telling Tom about his move out west, concerned about his friend’s reaction taking priority over everything else for the moment.

Tom just nods. “Alright, I’ll go get the truck. Do we need to go pick up keys or is someone meeting us there? And where are we going, anyway? Are you leaving Manhattan again? Maybe we should consider Brooklyn again? He wouldn’t expect you to go back there.”

Jared clears his throat. “Actually, I was thinking of somewhere a little further west.”

Tom frowns. “West? Is that, like Staten Island? Come on, man, you know I suck at geography and directions.”

“Remember the AMAs two years ago, I told you about that meeting with Danneel Ackles and she offered me an exclusive contract at JADA?”

Tom blinks. “JADA? As in JADA Studios?”

“Yeah. I called her up as soon as I read the letter and the offer was still on the table. So I took it.”

“Jared, they’re based in California. LA.”

Jared nods. “Yeah, they film there, too.”

“So…we’re going to California?”

He can’t help the grin that spreads across his lips at Tom’s words. “‘We’?” he repeats, just to make sure.

Tom scoffs. “Like I’d let you move to LA without me. You know I hate the fucking snow.”

Jared just laughs, relieved beyond all measure to know that his best – and only – friend is making the move with him. 

“I think we could be outta here within the week,” Tom says, planning everything out in his usual, pragmatic way. “We put the apartments on the market as is, no point in shipping all the furniture when we can just buy new stuff when we get there. We can leave the actual sales in the hands of the realtor and then we can just head west.”

“Can we drive?” Jared asks, a thought suddenly hitting him. “I don’t want to book flights in either of our names, just in case he can track us down somehow.” It really wouldn’t surprise Jared to find out that the stalker has some sort of hacking ability.

Tom crosses the room in three huge strides and lays his hands on Jared’s shoulders.

“Jay, we can do whatever you want.” He pulls Jared into a bone crushing hug. “I’m so sorry you have to deal with all this shit.”

Jared has nothing to say to that, so he just hugs back twice as hard.

**_Chapter 1_ **

**One Month Later**

The door to Jensen Ackles’ office swings open without a knock preceding it, and there are only two people in his life that would do that, and one of them just went to get Jensen’s coffee.

“Darling husband!” Danneel sings brightly, skipping into the room on what Jensen is sure are ridiculously high heeled pumps, but he doesn’t look up from the checkbook in front of him to confirm.

“Ball and chain,” he quips without any real emotion at all, even though he’s a little curious as to why Danneel’s in his office in the first place. Her office is two floors above his, because she said it made for a better view, and usually they just talk via Skype or Instant Messaging if they need to discuss anything important during their working day, then they meet on the elevator, riding down to the underground parking lot together before they get into their respective cars and go their separate ways.

They have a weird relationship; Jensen will be the first to admit that.

When his wife throws herself artfully over one of the chairs in front of his desk, Jensen is forced to look up from the check he’s signing to the ranch that rented them the horses for that last cowboy shoot.

“What do you want?” he asks with narrowed eyes. “If you came all the way down here personally, it’s either important or you know I don’t want to give it to you.” Jensen rolls his eyes. “Either that or you’ve done something to piss me off and you think your pouty lips and perky tits will be enough to get you out of it.”

Dutifully, Danneel pouts her lips and sits up straighter, angling her body so that he gets the full effect of her, admittedly amazing, breasts.

Jensen just blinks and Danneel collapses back against the cushions.

“Our marriage is dead, Jensen. There’s no passion anymore! No romance! I think we should talk about seeing other people.”

Jensen smirks. “And how is the fabulous Genevieve? Still fabulous?”

Danneel perks up at the mere mention of her girlfriend’s name. “Oh, she’s yummy. It’s our anniversary next month. I’ve booked us a private island in some foreign country. Nothing but sun, sea and sex for three whole weeks, it’s going to be awesome.”

Jensen grins, happier for his wife than he can find words to convey.

Danneel had met Genevieve almost eighteen months ago, an extra hired for one of the lesbian shoots, and the two had hit it off, keeping in touch long after Genevieve had decided that the life of a porn star – even as an extra – just wasn’t for her.

It had still taken Danneel another three months and much prodding from Jensen, Sophia and Chad before she caved and asked the girl on a date. They’ve been practically married ever since.

Emotionally speaking, of course.

“I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time,” Jensen intones, “now what do you want?”

Danneel deflates a little. “I kinda need all the gay scripts you have on file and the phone number of whoever your casting agent is.”

“What? What could you possibly need with gay scripts?”

Since setting up JADA Studios almost seven years ago, Jensen and Danneel have kept pretty much to their own sides of the business; Danneel dealing with all the lesbian and threesome porn while Jensen handles the gay shoots and everything that entails. They’ve rarely crossed paths, at least as far as actors are concerned, and Jensen finds it interesting that she’s coming to him for something like this.

Even with the hot, California sun streaming through his windows, Jensen can see Danneel’s face darken as she blushes.

“I sort of offered this guy a contract, but I gave him, like, really amazing perks to get him to sign with us,” she says almost too softly for Jensen to hear.

“What guy and what kind of perks?” Really, Jensen isn’t against the idea of Danneel finding new talent for his side of the business, but he likes to be able to at least check them out, make sure they know what they’re doing – in the movie making sense of the phrase – before he offered them a contract to sign.

But from the look on Danneel’s face, it seems as though this guy has already signed a contract.

“Well, um,” Danneel mutters as she stares at her fingernails, “I gave him a producer’s credit on any movie he made, his choice of scripts as and when he wants to shoot and the right to sit in on any casting for any script he chooses to shoot.”

Jensen gapes at her. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? Who the hell is this guy that you would offer him a contract like that?”

Danneel’s embarrassment fades away as she holds her head high. “PJ Tristan.”

Jensen’s righteous indignation vanishes quicker than it arrived and he slumps back in his chair.

Flashbacks of the Adult Movie Awards assault Jensen’s mind and he has to blink a couple of times to remove Jared Padalecki’s beautiful face from his vision.

Yes, he’d known who Jared was the second the porn star had walked up to him at that bar almost two years ago, but from the way Jared had leaned in, kept eye contact, talked about anything and everything that wasn’t related to the world of gay porn or Jensen’s place in it, it was obvious that Jared had no idea who Jensen was.

Jensen had liked that, he’d liked that Jared just wanted to talk to him, Jensen Ackles, not one half of JADA Studios.

It was only after Chad had pulled him away to help deal with Justin Hartley, who’d gotten so drunk he was storming the stage every time his name wasn’t announced as a winner, that Jensen realized that not only didn’t he get Jared’s phone number, he was pretty sure Jared didn’t even know his name.

Sure, there were ways for Jensen to get his number, if he really wanted it – which he did – but all those ways involved Jensen using his reputation to curry favors with the East Coast people and that wasn’t how he wanted to do this. 

He’d planned on returning to the awards show the following year, tracking Jared down there and sparking up their conversation again, hoping that Jared would take the hint and ask for his number or email. But that plan had been forgotten about in light of Jensen’s grandmother’s sudden and unexpected death, and Jensen had been devastated on both fronts.

But now Jared was here, maybe in this very building right at this second, and Jensen had to opportunity to get it right this time, to maybe talk Jared into dinner or drinks before he found out that Jensen was, technically, his new boss.

If he could get rid of Danneel first.

“How did you manage to land J…uh, PJ anyway? Last I heard, he was working the New York scene.”

Danneel shrugs. “He was. I talked to him at the AMA’s a couple years ago, tried to get him to sign with us then. I mean, come on, Jensen, you know what it would to for us if PJ Tristan was working for us exclusively.”

Jensen nods, because, yes, he knows exactly what it would do for their company. 

Jared Padalecki, better known by his stage name, PJ Tristan, is the number one top on the gay porn scene. He could have a scene with a blow-up doll and he’d make it the best damn scene you ever saw. There was no one in the business who didn’t want to work with him, including Jensen.

“At the time,” Danneel goes on, “he was tied into something with Rochè and Speight, but then he called me about a month ago, said he was looking to make a move out here and wondered if I my offer was still on the table. I practically jumped down the phone line.”

“Where is the contract? I want to look it over, make sure everything’s okay.”

Danneel rolls her eyes. “I do know how to write a contract, Jen. Well, dictate a contract, I had Jeff actually write it.”

Jeffery Dean Morgan is their lawyer, the man who handles all the legal stuff the company dealt with, which is a lot, so Jensen knows that he can rest assured that the contract was at least iron clad and in the best interests of both Jared and JADA Studios.

“I know you do, Dan, but he’ll be working with me, _for_ me, I’d like to at least know what I’m dealing with.”

Danneel looks at him carefully for a few seconds, during which time Jensen tries desperately to figure out just what it is she’s looking for exactly. Then she reaches behind her and pulls a folder from where it was obviously tucked down the back of her waistband. She reaches forward to hand it to Jensen across his desk.

“I know I’m not going to have much contact with him, or any at all, really, so it would be stupid for me to try and demand that I handle or be involved in everything he does. So I’m officially releasing him into your care.”

Jensen all but snatches the folder out of her hands. “How kind of you.”

“I know, I’m a saint.” She winks. “Anyway, that’s everything, his contact information, a copy of his contract, a list of his roles thus far.”

Now that one, Jensen doesn’t need. He has every single movie Jared ever made since he broke onto the scene a decade ago.

“Thanks,” he says anyway, his eyes on the pages.

“I told him to come into see you in the morning and that you’d give him a tour of the place, all that crap.”

“Right,” he mutters. Then Danneel’s words pierce the Jared-shaped fog that’s clouding his mind. “Wait, what?”

“PJ, or rather, Jared, as is his real name, he wants to take a look around, get a feel for the set up and how we run things before he starts looking into scripts. I told him it would be best for you to do that.”

“Why me?”

“Because you’re his boss, Jensen. Apart from Christian, you and Chad are probably the only people he’s going to have a long-term working relationship with.”

Jensen nods; she has a point, but still, it put a major kink into Jensen’s plans.

He turns to his computer and brings up the filming schedule.

“The only thing I have shooting this week is solo shots at the house downtown on Wednesday. Not exactly something PJ Tristan would be interested in.”

Danneel waves her hand in a dismissive gesture. “Jensen, he knows how a porn studio is run; he’s been in the business long enough. He wants to know how _we_ operate. So just…show him around. Take him out to lunch.”

_Profess my undying love,_ Jensen adds silently to himself, then rolls his eyes at his own foolish mind.

“I’ll have the scripts ready for him,” he promises with a nod of his head. “He can let me know when he’s decided what he wants to shoot first and then we can look into casting.”

“Great!” Danneel claps her hands in glee, obviously enormously pleased with herself for managing to get Jared to sign a contract.

Jensen would be proud of her if his stomach wasn’t busy doing cartwheels.

The door bursts open again.

“Jensen! You’ll never guess who I saw-” Chad snaps his mouth closed as soon as he catches sight of Danneel, stumbling on his feet as he pulls himself to a halt. The coffee cups in his hands from the Starbucks down the street remain perfectly balanced. Chad’s been well trained.

“Hi, Danneel,” he says lamely. “I didn’t get you any coffee.”

Jensen hides a grin behind his hand when he notices that Chad didn’t offer to go get Danneel some coffee, either.

“Who’d you see where?” Danneel asks, skipping over the mention of coffee.

“Uh…Channing Tatum. In Starbucks.”

Danneel’s lips curl in distaste. “I need to start hanging around with more straight men. Either that or I start bringing Gen to work with me. I’ll never understand the appeal of all that…sweaty muscle.” She shivers theatrically, as if Channing Tatum’s muscles were actually of some sort of personal offense to her.

“Um, Jensen,” Chad says carefully as he approaches Jensen’s desk and handing over one of the two coffee cups in the drinks holder, “you have that meeting with that car hire place at three, and it’s all the way across town.”

Taking a sip of his coffee, Jensen clicks open his personal schedule on the computer and sees that his afternoon is completely free for the first time in months.

“You’re right, Chad. Damn, I forgot all about that.”

“Guess that’s my cue to leave and get back to work.” Danneel rises to her feet and adjusts her outfit back into place, smoothing the lines of her crisp black skirt. “Jensen, I expect a phone call tomorrow evening. I want to know exactly what Jared thought.”

“It’s a porn studio, Dan, nothing the guy hasn’t seen before.”

“ _Everything_ , Jensen,” she intones before she skips out the door, throwing a “love ya!” over her shoulder as she goes.

“Now what’s your plan, genius?” Jensen asks when the door closes behind his wife. “We actually have to go somewhere now or else she’s gonna know we just fed her a bunch of bullshit.”

Chad gives him a shrug. “Hey, we got the whole afternoon off. We can drive to some dive bar on the other side of the city and get loaded.”

“Someone has to be sober enough to drive us home, dipshit.”

“And that, Jensen, is why they invented cabs.”

“I’m not leaving my car in some smelly bar on the other side of town just so that you can get drunk off your ass,” Jensen says, but he gets to his feet and reaches for his jacket anyway.

“We could take my car,” Chad offers.

Jensen just shakes his head. “Besides, if I have to spend time with Jared tomorrow, I’d rather not do it with a hangover.”

Chad follows his boss out of the office. “Alright, then what do you suggest?”

“I dunno, let’s just get out of here first and then we can decide. Get your keys.” He says the last as an afterthought, not keen on driving after all.

They make their way down to the parking lot in relative silence, sipping on their coffee and pretending to be in deep conversation when anyone else steps onto the elevator.

When they get to the parking lot, Jensen doesn’t waste any time, just cuts across the dark, almost cavernous space in a jog and crawls into Chad’s back seat as soon as his assistant unlocks the doors with a beep.

“You’re so pathetic,” Chad says with a chuckle as he climbs behind the wheel.

“And you’re so fired,” Jensen retaliates.

“I’m a partner in this company, jackass, you can’t fire me,” Chad snorts. “Besides, you could actually do this job without me, anyway.”

Jensen curses silently, because Chad actually has a point. Chad is Jensen’s best friend, as well as his assistant, and Jensen shudders to think about how lost he would be without Chad right there next to him every day, doing whatever it takes to keep Jensen sane throughout the day. Like right now, knowing Jensen had to get out of the office for a while.

There’s nothing about Jensen that Chad doesn’t know, and the reverse is also true.

Jensen groans. “Chad, how am I gonna work with this guy when all I want to do is jump his bones?”

“Actually jump his bones?” Chad suggests.

Jensen sits up so that he can look at Chad. “What are you talking about? I can’t date him. And, yes,” he adds before Chad can interrupt, “I do want to date him, this isn’t about a one night thing. I actually like this guy, and now Danneel has gone and screwed me over and I can’t date him.”

Chad twists in the driver’s seat until he’s facing Jensen. “Why not? Why can’t you date him?”

Jensen glares at his assistant. “Did you get hit in the head at some point when I wasn’t watching? I’m his boss, moron. I can’t date an employee, it’s unethical.”

“Technically, Danneel’s his boss.”

Jensen’s interest piqued. “I like it. Tell me more of this bullshit story.”

Chad rolls his eyes. “Look, you didn’t know anything about him joining the company; that was all Danni. The contract is with her, you haven’t been anywhere near it and you didn’t know until after it had been signed.”

Jensen narrows his eyes. “How do you know all this? I only found out about this while you were out getting coffee.”

“Remember I said I saw someone?” Jensen nods. “Yeah, I saw Jared in the lobby, so I took the stairs and made some calls. Finally, Sophia was able to tell me that he’s been in meetings with your ballsy wife since last Tuesday, hammering out the terms of his contract.” 

Jensen gives a snort over how oblivious he’s been. Jared has been in his building all week and he hadn’t even noticed.

“Sophia was really impressed with the guy,” Chad continues, “apparently he was willing to sign on for a lot less than what Danneel offered him.”

“Fuck,” Jensen says, “I left his contract on my desk.”

Chad waves a hand. “It’s not like anyone’s gonna run in and take it.”

“No, but I wanted to read over it, see what she actually gave him.”

“Probably whatever it took to get him to sign himself up for the rest of his career,” Chad points out. “You have to admit, Jen, PJ Tristan is the number one top in the business. Do you know how much money he could bring into the company with pay-per-views alone?”

Jensen reaches out and smacks Chad upside the head. “As the founder of this company, yes, I am aware. I just wanted to know what he’s getting out of it. He seemed pretty settled with Rochè and Speight the last time I was talking to him.”

“Jensen, that was almost two years ago. A lot can happen in that time, people change.”

“I haven’t.”

“That’s because you’re old and stuck in your ways. You need Jared to come and fuck it out of you. Oh, hottie at two o’clock,” he adds before Jensen can call him on his comment.

Jensen follows his gaze and his eyes land on Jared, walking calmly across the dim parking lot, his eyes glued to his cell phone as he types a text message or email or something.

“I am so screwed,” Jensen whispers as he takes in Jared’s incredible body.

He was dressed in dark jeans that are fitted to perfection over his tight ass and slim legs, leading down to well-worn black boots that looked comfortable, like they were a favorite pair. He’d finished his outfit with a forest green shirt, un-tucked with the sleeves rolled up past his elbows, exposing well-sculpted forearms and giving Jensen a nice view of the leather bracelets and watch adorning his wrists.

The whole ensemble was definitely pleasing to Jensen’s eye.

“Maybe literally,” Chad says with a tilt of his head as he follows Jared’s progress across the front of the car, and Jensen was glad for the dim lighting that kept them unseen in the car.

“Maybe literally what?” Jensen asks with his own head tilt. His eyes are glued to Jared’s ass.

“Screwed. Literally,” Chad explains, his eyes still on Jared as he stops beside a black truck. “You just admitted it yourself; Jared is the number one top in our industry. This had to have occurred to you before now.”

Like Jensen said, Chad new everything about him, including his preferences in bed.

It isn’t like Jensen hates bottoming; it’s just not his…preference, and he has no idea if someone like Jared would even be open to the idea off switching off every now and then.

But for Jared? A man he’d spoken to, spent time with, knew as best he could after only a few hours, for Jared…

“I think I could do it,” Jensen admits softly.

“Mmm,” Chad agrees, “me, too.”

Jensen smacks him again. “You are a married man, Murray.”

Jensen’s assistant lets out another snort. “Please, like my husband doesn’t spend all day perving on men. Naked men at that.”

“Christian is our director, dumbass. He’s getting paid to do what he does; it’s called work. What you’re doing now is just plain checking out the hot guy. _My_ hot guy, I’d like to add.”

“You never did learn to share,” Chad pouts, putting his key in the ignition.

“They stopped teaching that after my brother was in kindergarten.” Jensen ducks so that he can see Jared more clearly through the windshield as the taller man climbs into his truck.

“Hey, should we follow him? See where he lives or hangs out or whatever?”

Jensen considers Chad’s question for less than a second before he shakes his head. “No, that’s creepy, and I have enough creepy to deal with in my professional relationship to Jared.”

“Hey, that’s another thing I wanted to ask,” Chad says as they follow Jared’s truck as it backs out of the space and heads for the entrance. “Are you going to be okay with Jared fucking a load of random guys at work every day? Some people might get upset over that.”

“It’s porn, Chad,” Jensen says forcefully. “I’ve been in this business long enough to know that it’s acting, it’s not real. It’s not like you have any problems with Chris watching two guys fuck every day.” Sometimes it was more than two.

“Yeah, but Chris isn’t doing any of the touching or the fucking. It’s a little different,” Chad points out.

Jensen shakes his head. “I’ve dated porn stars before. It’s not something I have a problem with. It’s a job. As long as I’m the only person they’re fucking or being fucked by when the camera isn’t rolling, everything else is gravy.”

“You’re one hell of a guy, Jen,” Chad admits with a chuckle. “So, where to?”

“Just…take us some place we can just hang out for a couple hours.”

Chad glances at him in the rearview mirror. “Chris is due home soon and he was planning on barbequing tonight.” There’s questioning lilt to his tone.

“Sounds perfect.”

///

Jared feels better about himself than he has in a long while when he leaves Mrs. ‘please, call me Danneel’ Ackles’ office after their last meeting. He has a contract with JADA that will cover him for the rest of his career, a contract that is beyond anything he ever imagined, including vetting his own co-stars and a producing credit on anything he shoots.

It more money than Jared ever dreamed of, enough for him to live comfortably for the rest of his life.

Hell, the money from royalties alone would be enough for him to live comfortably for the rest of his life.

He should be happy, ecstatic even, but the only thing Jared can think about is what Danneel said as the meeting with her and the studio’s lawyer, Jeff Morgan, was winding down. 

About how Jared would have to meet with her husband, Jensen, the following day.

Jared had asked why, what this Jensen had to do with anything, and that was when Danneel told him that she wasn’t actually in charge of the male side of their business and that she’d hired Jared without consulting her husband.

It made something in Jared’s stomach flip uncomfortably.

He doesn’t know why, why he’s so concerned about the meeting with Jensen Ackles. His contract is solid and binding as far as he knows, but the idea that Jensen might be against his hiring is disconcerting to say the least. He could make things very difficult for Jared if he decides he doesn’t want Jared as part of his company.

Jared doesn’t like conflict, goes out of his way to avoid confrontations if at all possible.

It’s why the idea of going to the police about the stalker makes his blood run cold. 

He’d brought it up after the first few letters, of course, wondering if the police would be able to track him – or her – down and find out why he was doing it. But Tom had talked him out of it, pointing out that the police might not believe him; that they might think that Jared brought this on himself. He told Jared that the whole thing might be more than Jared can take and Jared agreed, albeit reluctantly. He didn’t like the idea of telling the police everything about his life, the idea of them digging through everything he did, every aspect of his life open to scrutiny, and the possibility of them deciding that Jared’s lifestyle and choice of employment meant that he didn’t deserve their help.

It was more than he thinks he can deal with.

It’s the same with this Jensen guy. His contract with Danneel is binding, he knows that, but he also knows that if Jensen decides he doesn’t want Jared working for his company, Jared doesn’t think he’ll be able to fight him on it.

He sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair even as he laughs at himself.

If any of his fans saw him like this, this weak, pathetic little man, too frightened to stand up for himself, he wouldn’t have any career at all and he wouldn’t have these problems.

With one last laugh, Jared pulls Tom’s truck up to the front door of the W Los Angeles Hotel – his home for the foreseeable future – and smiles at the parking valet, even as the guy gives the truck a scaling glare.

Jared knows it’s not the kind of car people who stay in hotels like this should be driving, but Jared doesn’t give a shit. It’s not like he doesn’t have the cash to buy a better car – to buy Tom a better car – but he doesn’t want anything else in his name; wants to keep himself as far off the radar as possible.

It’s why the hotel is booked until Tom’s name and not his own.

He stops off at the front desk, checks his messages, and isn’t surprised when the guy behind the counter tells him he has no calls or anyone asking for him.

It’s a relief, too; means the stalker hasn’t found him.

It’s been six weeks since he and Tom left New York with everything they owned packed into the truck. They turned it into an adventure, stopping off in random little towns along the way, laughing at the truly awful motels along the route that Tom insisted they had to stay in. Jared doesn’t remember ever having so much fun.

His last road trip certainly hadn’t been the stuff of happy memories.

Jared rides the elevator to the ninth floor and pulls his keycard out of the slot at the back of his wallet as he thinks about what he wants to order off of room service for dinner.

He stops with the door barely open when the noise from the television reaches his ears. He knows he didn’t leave it on before he left for JADA’s offices, the song from the music video that was playing when he reached down to turn off the set was stuck in his head the whole ride over.

Someone else must have turned the television on, which means someone else has been in his room. Jared doesn’t think the housekeeping staff would do things like turn on the TV when they changed the sheets and refilled the complimentary shampoos. 

Jared can feel his chest tighten as fear takes hold. But it can’t be, can it? There’s no way the stalker could know he was in LA already, is there? And even if he does know, he can’t get into Jared’s hotel room; they don’t just hand out keys to anyone that asks for them.

So logically, Jared knows that his fear is unfounded, but that doesn’t make it go away.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and redials the last number he called.

Inside his room, a phone starts playing Nickelback’s ‘S.E.X’ and Jared feels his fear replaced by relief that’s slowly giving way to anger.

“Dammit, Tommy!”

Jared shoves the door open so hard it bangs into the wall behind it and bounces back into Jared’s face.

From the bed, Tom laughs loudly.

“That was hilarious,” he breathes between giggles.

Jared scowls at him as he rubs at his nose. “You scared the shit out of me, man. How’d you even get in here?”

“Uh, the room’s booked in my name, dipshit. I just told the guy at the front desk that I locked my key inside and he made me another one.” He waves a plastic card that matches Jared’s in the air. “Which I wouldn’t have done if you’d just given me a key in the first place.”

Jared winces at the hurt in Tom’s voice. Tom has had a key to everywhere Jared has lived since the day they met, but this isn’t an apartment, and Jared didn’t think those same rules applied here. He just didn’t think to take Tom’s feelings into consideration and it’s obvious that Jared’s friend is upset at his lack of concern.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Tom kicks at him with a socked foot and Jared knows that they’re going to be okay.

Tom mutes the TV. “So, you sign the contract?”

“Yep, I have to go back in to see the boss tomorrow, though.”

“I thought you were dealing with the boss?”

Jared snorts. “Danneel Ackles and her husband own and run the company, yes, but Danneel is in charge with the lesbian porn while her husband deals with the guys.”

Tom shifts on the bed until he’s sitting on the edge next to Jared. “Why were you dealing with Danneel if she’s got nothing to do with the dude porn?”

“I dunno, maybe she just wanted to hire me and thinks that her husband doesn’t, so she signed me into a contract before he could find out.” Jared collapsed back on the mattress. “God, what if he doesn’t even want me? He could make my life hell.”

“Jay, you’re the number one top in the business. The money you’re going to bring into this guy’s company? There’s no way he’d turn that down. Plus, the contract Danneel gave you, he can’t break that without facing a massive lawsuit for breach of contract. He could lose his whole company. He’s not going to risk that.”

“Maybe,” Jared concedes, but that doesn’t mean he’s looking forward to the meeting.

They’re silent for a few minutes, Jared thinking about the next day, and Tom thinking God-knows what and when he speaks again, Jared wishes he’d kept quiet.

“You keep the letters in the nightstand?”

Jared tenses, instantly on the defensive. “Why were you going through my stuff? You rummage through all your friends’ drawers?”

Tom shrugs. “Only the ones I’m worried about. Come on, Jared. Talk to me. That’s a little bit weird, even for you.”

Jared returns the shrug. “It’s a reminder. So that I don’t get too comfortable.”

“I don’t know what that means, Jared,” Tom says.

“Tom, my life could change for the worst in just one second, with just one stupid letter. I keep the letters there so that I can be reminded of that and so that I don’t end up putting stuff off. It’s why I decided to take Danneel up on her offer. Because tomorrow I might have to leave again.”

Tom throws an arm around Jared’s shoulder, pulling him close. “Jared, it’s not going to happen, okay? He’s not going to find you, we’ve moved to the other side of the fucking country and we’ve done everything we can to keep your name out of everything. He’d have to be a fucking psychic to track you down now.”

“Maybe he’s just a really smart guy with, like, amazing computer skills and he can hack into cellphone records and bank accounts and he’ll know the next time I hit the ATM or something.”

“Okay, now you’re just being paranoid.” Tom gives him a shove and gets up from the bed, crossing the room to pick up the room service menu that’s sitting next to the still muted TV.

“Gee, I wonder what I’d have to be paranoid about?” Jared snarks, but at least there’s a smile on his face now.

Tom ignores him as he flips through the menu. “So, do you wanna eat here tonight or do you wanna go out somewhere? I thinking we should stay in and just veg out. Greasy food and dessert and a movie. What do think?”

Jared wrinkles his nose. “What movies do they have? We’d seen everything the last time we checked.”

“Holy shit!” Tom barks out a laugh. “Didn’t you do a film called ‘Homerun’?”

“Uh, yeah, I think it was a baseball themed shoot. That was at least seven years ago, though, why are you bringing it up?”

Tom waves the menu. “They have it! It’s in their adult pay-per-view channel! Oh, man, we’re so ordering this!”

“What? Why? You’re straight! Why would you even want to watch a gay porn flick? Especially one where your best friend is the main star.”

“Because I’ve never actually see one of your movies, Jay, and after a decade of being your assistant and general right hand man, I think I deserve to have the right to mock and laugh at how hilarious you look on screen.”

Jared says nothing, just lays back on the bed and listens as Tom orders the movie along with burgers and fries for both of them and more desserts than Jared thinks he’ll be able to eat and lets the smile spread over his face.

At least he’s not thinking about his meeting with Jensen anymore.

**Chapter 2**

Jared’s stumbling around the lobby of the building the next morning, because of course he never asked Mrs. Ackles where her husband’s office was.

A quick look around had confirmed that Jensen Ackles’ office wasn’t on the same floor as his wife’s, so instead of running around each floor like an insane person, Jared had taken the elevator back down to the lobby, hoping to find a directory or maybe even a security guard or receptionist he could ask on what floor Jensen’s office was located.

But of course, there’s no one, the lobby is deserted and Jared is wondering if this is some weird prank, _Punk’d_ for the porn world, when the elevator dings and the doors slide open, revealing a vaguely familiar guy in the car.

“Oh,” the guy says with a strange smirk on his face, “we weren’t expecting you until later.”

“I’m sorry?” Jared says and he doesn’t know if he’s apologizing for apparently being early, or if he’s asking the guy what the hell he’s talking about.

The guy chuckles and motions for Jared to get on the elevator. “I’m Chad, Jensen’s assistant, and you look like you’re more than a little lost.”

Jared blushes. “Yeah, I forgot to ask Mrs. Ackles where her husband’s office was.” He shrugs, embarrassed.

Chad hits a button for the eighth floor and gives a theatrical shudder. “Jesus, don’t call her that to her face. She’s likely to think her mother-in-law is behind her with a shot gun.”

“Not a fan of the mother-in-law?” Jared asks with a grin.

“Nah, I’m just kidding. Donna’s pretty awesome as far as mom’s go, but, you know, she’s still hoping she can persuade Jensen and Danni to pop her out some grandbabies.”

“That’s mamas for you,” Jared admits with a wry grin, “always looking for someone to spoil.”

Except Jared’s mama, but, then again, Jared hasn’t seen his mama in more than a decade, so he really isn’t in any sort of position to know whether she has any grandbabies or not.

Chad rolls his eyes in amusement. “Great, another Texan. It’s like I’m surrounded by you people.”

Jared blinks. “You can tell I’m from Texas?” It’s been twelve years since he lived in his home State – or even stepped foot in it – and he’d thought that his accent had mostly faded away by now.

“Well, I work for a Texan and I married a Texan, so it’s kinda easy for me to hear through that generic accent everybody inevitably picks up. Although, don’t mention anything about Texas to that husband of mine. He still insists he’s from Oklahoma, despite what his birth certificate says.”

Jared knows his eyes are probably the size of dinner plates right now, but, come on! That’s a lot of information to dump on someone you’ve just met.

Chad gives him another one of those grins. “Better get used to it, buddy. We don’t really stand on ceremony around here, especially Jensen. You’re pretty much family as soon as you sign on the dotted line.”

“Good to know,” Jared says, but inside, he’s a little wary. Even with just one elevator ride, Jared can tell that working with JADA Studios is going to be a lot different than any of the studios he’s been associated with before now, and he wonders if that’s a good thing, or something he should be careful about.

Chad claps him on the shoulder as the elevator arrives at the eighth floor. “Don’t sweat it, big guy; it’s a great place to work.”

Jared just nods and follows Chad out of the car and down a long, narrow hallway.

There are other rooms on the floor, all of them with the doors closed and giving off the air of being totally empty.

“Yeah, Jensen likes his space,” Chad says, like he can feel Jared’s curiosity. “Most of this floor is empty apart from some rooms they use for screening and storage. It’s kinda nice, means I can play whatever music I want, as loud as I want and I don’t get shit for it.”

“You don’t get shit from Mr. Ackles?” Even if Chad and the head of the company have the same tastes in music, there has to be times when Mr. Ackles needs quiet.

“ _Jensen_ ,” Chad enunciates carefully, “had his office sound proofed when we first bought the building. He doesn’t like the traffic noises and all that other shit, so he doesn’t hear anything, and, more importantly, I don’t hear him.”

He gives Jared a leer over his shoulder and Jared suppresses a shudder and the implication of Jensen… _entertaining_ people in his office, like the cliché casting couch.

They reach the end of the hallway and a large set of double doors, which Chad opens dramatically, revealing a small, cozy, comfortable looking room with another set of double doors directly opposite the first set. There’s a desk to the left – which is clearly Chad’s space – and on the right is a small waiting area furnished with comfy-looking sofas and a coffee table.

While Chad heads for the other set of doors without pausing, Jared detours to one of the couches, settling in to wait until Mr. Ackles – Jensen – is ready to see him.

Chad looks over his shoulder when he realizes Jared isn’t behind him anymore. “What are you doing?”

“Uh, waiting until Mr. – uh, Jensen, is ready to see me?”

“Jensen might not have expected you until later, but he’s cleared his whole schedule. So get your ginormous ass in here.”

Blushing and a little bit flustered, Jared gets to his feet again. “Just because you’re short doesn’t mean you have to take it out on the rest of us.”

Chad snorts. “Right, I’m short, that’s the reason why you’re fucking six foot seventeen.”

“Six four,” Jared corrects just as Chad opens the second set of double doors in the same dramatic fashion as the first.

“And that’s just what he’s smuggling in he’s pants!” Chad quips, doubling over as he laughs at his own joke.

Across the room, Jensen is face down on his desk. “Get out, Chad, just…leave.”

“Oh, come on! It was funny, even you have to admit that, you uptight bastard.”

Jared has to swallow a gasp. Under no circumstances would he ever talk to his boss in that tone.

Jensen, however, just grunts and holds out a hand, still face down on his desk. “Where’s my damn coffee?”

“Dude, I left here, like, two minutes ago. Do you really think that’s enough time for me to get to Starbucks and back?”

“Then what are you doing back here? Come on, man, I need my coffee before Jared gets here.”

Chad presses a finger to his lips, indicating that Jared should be quiet. “Why? So that you can convince him you’re a decent human being so that he’ll actually go to dinner with you when you ask?”

Jared thinks his eyes are going to pop out of his head, because…what?!

Jensen just groans again.

“I bet you were up at, like, 4am trying to figure out what you were gonna wear,” Chad laughs.

“Coffee, Chad. Now. Before I decide to throw your ass out the window.”

“Sure thing, boss,” Chad says with mock sincerity before he turns to Jared. “Mr. Padalecki, can I get you anything?”

Jensen jumps and flails so hard that the papers that had been on his desk fly in all directions.

“Uh, caramel macchiato, if you’re offering,” Jared replies, but his eyes are glued to the man behind the desk, the man who is now blushing furiously.

“Coming up.” Chad skips to the door. “God, if you could see your face, Jen. I’m totally getting Christian a copy of that tape. Chris needs to see that shit!”

“If I didn’t know I’d probably kill myself by next Tuesday trying to do Chad’s job and mine, I would so shoot him right now,” Jensen mutters, his face the color of a ripe tomato and Jared tries to find some kind of words to answer him, but he can’t, because Jensen is _him._ The guy from the AMA’s. The guy Jared practically fell for as soon as he laid eyes on him.

This is, without question, the best day of Jared’s life.

Except it isn’t, because this is Jensen Ackles, as in husband of Danneel Ackles, and Jared feels his face flush at the mere thought of flirting with a married man, never mind the fact that Jensen – the rat bastard – had been clearly flirting back.

Jared wonders if Danneel knows that her husband is a cheating creep. He looks around the spacious office, taking in the huge sectional in the far corner, the beautiful deep red area rug, the coffee table, Jensen’s desk, and tries not to think about the number of naïve guys Jensen has taken in here and promised movie parts in return.

Chad’s leer really does make a whole lot of sense now.

“Not exactly how I wanted reintroductions to go,” Jensen gripes as he makes his way out from behind the desk, “or introductions in your case. It wasn’t until after Chad had dragged me away that night that I realized you probably had no idea who I was.”

Oh, that was why Chad had looked so familiar; he’d been the guy who dragged Jensen away to deal with whatever emergency they’d had.

“No, I didn’t,” Jared replies, “if I did, I probably wouldn’t have tried to pick you up.”

Really, there was no ‘probably’ about it. Jared doesn’t go after guys who are so very obviously taken, no matter how good-looking and charming they are.

And, God, is Jensen ever charming, coming at Jared with that oh, so perfect smile stretching his lips and his hand reaching out.

Jensen narrows his eyes at Jared’s words, purses his lips when Jared limply shakes his hand. “Have a seat.” His voice is colder, but more out of confusion than anger or anything else, and Jared does as he’s told and takes a seat on the edge of the brown leather sectional, trying not to think about anyone else sitting here as Jensen sits next to him.

“I had a look over your contract, Jared, and I have to say, for someone who doesn’t usually deal with male clients or someone of your standing in this business, Danneel did a hell of a job.”

Jared lets himself smile at that. “She said you’d say that.”

Jensen nods. “If I’d known you were interested in moving out here, I would have approached you myself, but I can’t really say for sure that I would have offered you the same deal as Danni.”

Jared just shrugs at that because he honestly doesn’t know what to say. He knows the deal Danneel gave him is more than anyone else at the company had been offered and Jared’s grateful for it – more than grateful, really. But he’s also completely aware of the fact that he would have signed on that dotted line for nothing more than a shot of tequila.

Getting out of New York had been his only goal at the time.

“I’m not gonna try and bullshit you here, Jared, or treat you like some kid. I know you’ve been in the business for a while, so you know how things work. The only thing you’re gonna need schooling on is how things work at JADA.”

Jared frowns. “Just like every other porn studio, I expect.” His frown deepens as he hears the Texan in his own voice, blaming Jensen on reawakening the long dead lilt.

Jensen tilts his head in something that Jared suspects signifies disagreement.

“Yes and no. JADA is pretty much a gay-only porn studio. The only straight porn to come out of this place involves at least some sort of threesome, but that’s not something you’re going to have to worry about.”

Jared shakes his head. Jared doesn’t do girls, and even if Jensen’s threesome scenes involve Jared, some chick and another guy, rules of the game suggest he’d have to have at least some sort of interaction with the girl. And given the fan base Jared has managed to build up over the last ten years, no one wants to see PJ Tristan giving it to some tiny little chick with fake tits.

“We also don’t do any hardcore shit here,” Jensen continues, and that piques Jared’s interest and his head snaps up from where he’s been contemplating Jensen’s shoes.

“What do you mean?”

Jensen shrugs. “We don’t do anything like BDSM, S and M, simulated rape scenes.” He sighs. “I know there’s a lot of porn out there – especially gay porn – that goes down those routes. Maybe it stems from repression or something, I don’t know, but I don’t want to be associated with it. Being gay isn’t anything to be ashamed of, and neither should watching gay porn, so we’re not going to let people justify it by allowing them to watch my actors being humiliated.”

Jared inclines his head in agreement, but on the inside, he can’t help but think that Jensen’s full of shit. He’s talking about not being ashamed of being gay or watching gay porn while at the same time hiding his own feelings towards other men behind his marriage.

Jensen pauses and regards Jared with a cocked eyebrow. “Something wrong?”

Jared tries to wipe whatever expression has given him away from his face and gives his new boss a shake of his head. “No, it’s just…” he shrugs. “I’m a big guy, man. Most of the time, that’s what a producer or a director wants from me, to dominate smaller guys.”

“That’s not what we do here, Jared,” Jensen promises, and, despite everything, Jared feels himself relax a little. “I’m not saying we don’t have the odd scene where the twink-y looking guy comes in and bends over for the typical Alpha male, but, on the whole, we’re much more about making sure our actors are all on equal ground and most of the actors we have under contract are just regular guys like you and me.”

Jared bites his tongue. There’s nothing remotely alike between Jared and his new boss. Jared is out and proud, has lost his entire family because of his insistence that being gay is nothing to be ashamed of and wouldn’t be keeping it a secret like his mother wanted him to.

Jensen, on the other hand, was still trying to play the dutiful husband while he went behind his wife’s back and picked up unsuspecting porn stars for a little extra fun.

“Fine,” Jared says, and he knows is icy, but he can’t help it and he realizes that he needs to get out of his office before he says something he might live to regret. “Anything else?”

Jensen gives him a considering look, but continues on. “I understand Rochè and Speight have moved their business completely online.” It’s phrased like a question and Jared shifts in his seat, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his thighs.

“They have a website and all of their content is uploaded there. They have free stuff, clips of scenes, maybe four, five minutes long, stills from movies, that sort of thing, but in order to be able to watch the full movies, you have to subscribe to the site and pay a monthly fee.”

“We work on a pay-per-view system as well as still selling the DVD’s of the movies we shoot,” Jensen tells him. “There’s no subscription charge to view the site, which seems to be how Rochè and Speight are working, but you do have to pay to view the full movies, and the prices differ depending on both the actor or actors involved and the type of movie itself.”

Jared feels his eyebrows draw together in confusion. “Type of movie? I thought you just said you don’t do anything hard core?”

“We don’t. What I meant by that was things like threesomes are more expensive to view than, say, a solo shoot.”

“Solo shoots?” Apparently Jared turned into a parrot when no one was looking.

“Yeah, you know. Masturbation.” Jensen cocks his head to one side. “You’ve never done a solo shoot?”

Jared lets out a nervous little laugh. “Like I said, I’m a big guy, Mr. Ackles.”

“Jensen,” Jared new boss interrupts with a smirk.

“Jensen,” he corrects. “People expect me to putting some guy in his place, not many want to see me jerking off into a camera lens.”

Jensen shifts a little in his seat. “Oh, you’d be surprised what some people want to see.”

Jared narrows his eyes at Jensen. The guy is trying his hardest to flirt with Jared and Jared doesn’t really know what to because part of him wants to flirt back, but then he thinks about poor Danneel, who has no idea what kind of man her husband is and it’s all making Jared so confused that he just wants to run screaming from the room.

“You’ve never really done anything but the big alpha top routine, have you?” Jensen asks suddenly, his eyes soft and sympathetic and Jared shakes his head.

“I was already a big guy when I got into this business,” he finds himself saying. “I didn’t work out then as much as I do now, but I was bigger than all the other guys at that first studio, so I guess it just made sense to the producers and execs to put me into the scenes as a top. And, I dunno, it just seemed to fit.”

Jensen chews on his lower lip for a second and Jared tries not to get distracted. “I read over the contract you signed with Jeff and Danneel. It says that you’ll only top onscreen. Was that her idea or yours?”

“Why does it matter whose idea it was?”

“I just don’t want to see you tied into something you don’t want,” Jensen assures him. “Like I said before, Jared, we try to be different from a lot of the other studios out there and that means given our actors the opportunity to do something they’ve never done before, if they’re so inclined.”

“I don’t bottom onscreen. I won’t.” Jared knows his voice is harsh – too harsh – but he can’t help himself. He doesn’t have many rules, at least none that can’t be broken or bent for the right script, but this is one of them. He doesn’t bottom on camera, not for anyone or anything and for reasons he doesn’t want to get into right now. If Jensen tries to force this on him, Jared really can’t be sure of what he’d do.

Surprisingly, however, Jensen just leans back, away from Jared, his hands raised in front of him in something akin to surrender. “Hey, I wasn’t…I didn’t mean to suggest that you’re gonna have to do something you’re not comfortable with. I just wanted you to know that the option is there, if you want it.”

“I don’t want it.”

“And that’s okay, too.” Jensen gives him a little grin and Jared finds himself smiling back before he gives himself a mental shake, forcing the smile away and settling his lips into a thin line.

Jensen blinks at that, swallows hard and chews on the inside of his cheek, looking like he knows there’s something going on that Jared isn’t telling him, but unable to ask what it is without looking like an idiot. Jared wishes he’d ask, just so that he can have an outlet for the seething rage that’s slowly burning inside him.

“I’d like for you to do a solo shoot, though, if you’d be willing to,” Jensen says instead. “Christian, our director, is actually filming some solo shoots tomorrow at one of the houses we have. I was gonna take you down there and introduce you to him, since he’ll be the only director you’ll be working with.”

Jared frowns at that. “You don’t have any other directors?”

“We do, but Christian…we like to make sure our actors are comfortable on sets and keeping to the same crew every shoot is a good way to do that. Christian is the best director we have, and I’d like for you to work with the best.”

It sounds sincere enough, but Jared honestly isn’t sure what to make of Jensen anymore. The guy is throwing him for a loop and the only thing he wants is to just get out of this office for ten minutes and clear his head.

“I wasn’t really expecting to work a shoot this week,” he says, rubbing his hands down his thighs. He hasn’t prepared, hasn’t waxed since before the last shoot he did in New York and he can’t even remember what underwear he’s unpacked. He might even need to go shopping, just in case.

Jensen laughs. “And here I thought it was only the lesbians who worried about waxing and looking good.”

Did Jared say that out loud? If not, then Jensen is scarily good at reading his mind and he shouldn’t be finding that as charming as he suddenly does.

Before Jared can say anything else, the office door opens again and Chad comes back in, a drinks holder with three huge paper cups balanced carefully in one hand while he holds his iPhone to his ear with the other.

“Look, will you…no, seriously, you have to stop talking…will you calm down, for the love of my sanity?!”

Jensen’s on his feet instantly, concern written all over his face. “Is something wrong?”

“Shut up!” Chad yells into the phone. “Jesus.” He takes the phone away from his ear and taps a few times at the screen before he throws the phone to Jensen.

_“You know what, Murray? One of these days, I’m actually gonna come up with a reason for having your ass fired!”_ An angry little voice comes out of the speaker phone.

Chad snorts. “Good luck with that, bitch. I’m a fucking partner in this business! And that’s Murray-Kane to you!”

“Please don’t upset her, she can make things very difficult for me,” Jensen almost pleads and it makes Jared frown, because it’s not Danneel on the other end of the phone and he has to wonder in what way this woman could impact his life.

“Now, Gen, what’s wrong?”

_“I have no idea what to get Danneel for Christmas.”_

A pissed off expression passes over Jensen’s face, which Jared doesn’t find attractive. Not at all. He rolls his eyes; he can’t even lie to himself.

“Seriously? That’s what this panic is about? Gen, it’s the middle of August, for fuck sake!”

_“So?! I have to plan this, Jensen! I’ve only got four months! Last year was okay, because we’d only been together for a few months, so I was able to wing it and I’m pretty sure she liked what I got her,”_ Gen, apparently, babbles. _“But everything’s different this year! We’re living together, and we’ve been talking about getting married and I know she has something planned for out anniversary next month that she won’t tell me about. I can’t look like some loser, it has to be perfect.”_

“Genevieve,” Jensen sighs, “Danneel loves you and she’ll love whatever it is that you do eventually get for her. She never cares about the gift, she cares more about the fact that you took the time to pick out something that’s just for her.”

_“That’s exactly why it has to be perfect,”_ Gen – Genevieve? – says in a small voice.

Jared is honestly confused. Unless there’s another person Jensen knows called ‘Danneel’, he’s currently having a discussion with someone who claims to be living with and discussing marrying his wife. It’s beyond bizarre.

“Jensen, why don’t you just admit that you can’t buy gifts for people?” Chad says as he hands Jared his coffee.

_“What’s he talking about?”_

Jensen groans. “I really do suck at buying gifts, Gen; I’m probably the last person you should be asking.”

There’s a pause before Genevieve speaks again. _“How bad are we talking, here? You’ve known her your whole life.”_

“Since college is not my whole life,” Jensen grumbles.

Chad clears his throat, like he’s getting ready to deliver an epic speech. “For Christmas two years ago, Jensen Ackles bought for his wife, wait for it…a set of golf clubs!”

_“What?!”_ Genevieve shrieks while Jared can’t stifle the laugh that bubbles up his throat.

“She threw them at his head, it was awesome,” Chad adds.

_“Danni hates golf!”_

“I thought it would be a good way to get her interested! Come on, they were custom made! I had them engraved!”

“I don’t care if they were made of solid gold with diamond encrusted handles,” Chad snarks, “you should have known she would hate them.”

Jensen collapses back against the couch he’s still sitting on next to Jared. “Is it so wrong that I wanted to find something that would give me an excuse to spend a little more time with her?”

Genevieve clucks her tongue. _“I could understand if you’d given her Saints season tickets or something, but you failed epically with the golf clubs and I think you should be reminded of it at every single opportunity.”_

“And that’s exactly what you’re going to do now, isn’t it?” Jensen whines.

_“Yes, it is.”_

“Wonder how much it would take for Danneel to dump you?”

_“More money even you have, Ackles. Now, give the phone back to Chad, since he’s apparently the only one who can actually help me with this gift.”_

“You could always give her a divorce,” Chad suggests with a shrug and there’s another thoughtful pause.

_“Jensen,”_ Genevieve says in a breathy voice. _“Oh, God, **Jensen**!”_

Jensen laughs, and it sounds like a genuinely happy and amused sound, which is not what Jared was expecting at all. “You want me to give Danneel a divorce for Christmas?”

“You’ve been talking about it for years, and it’s not like you have parents or an adoring public that you’re trying to fool,” Chad points out. “Plus, it’ll point out to Jared here that you really are a single gay man because I don’t think anyone clued him in on this fake marriage thing. The guy looks like he’s gonna rupture something.”

Jensen’s whole body turns towards Jared and whatever expression Jensen finds on his face makes Jensen cringe.

“That’s what this whole cold shoulder thing was about? You thought I wanted to cheat on my wife?”

Jared just shrugs, because, yes, that’s exactly what he’d thought and there doesn’t really seem like there’s any point in denying it.

_“Who’s Jared?”_ Genevieve asks.

“Jensen’s new boy toy,” Chad answers for everyone. “He’s sitting here looking like someone just kicked him in the puppy because no one decided to tell him how very, very fake this marriage actually is. I told you about him, about how Jensen went completely ass over elbows for the guy at the AMA’s and then had a meltdown when he found out Danneel had signed him.”

_“That guy?!”_ Genevieve squeals. _“Jensen, you like this guy and you failed to inform him that you are, in fact, available?!”_

Jensen groans and rubs at his forehead with his free hand. “I didn’t think I had to, it’s not exactly a secret.”

“I’ve never worked on the West Coast,” Jared says, his voice a little rough. “I’m not exactly up on current affairs over here.”

_“How you didn’t figure out that Jensen’s the gayest thing since Christmas, I’ll never know,”_ Genevieve snarks.

“That’s Gen,” Jensen says, pointing at the phone, “she’s Danneel’s girlfriend. They’ve been together for a year and she’s started freaking out about Christmas already.”

“Uh, hi,” Jared says, feeling like a complete moron when he gives the phone a small wave.

_“Don’t worry, you get used to his…eccentricities.”_

Jensen scowls. “You were going to say something else.”

_“I plead the fifth.”_

“Um, hey,” Jared jumps in, stopping what he thinks is already an old argument, “if this divorce idea doesn’t work out, Jensen’s idea of getting something custom made was a good one, if poorly executed.”

“Hey!” Jensen exclaims.

“Sorry, man, but I’ve only spent a few days with Danneel and even I can tell she doesn’t really do sports of any kind.”

“Except the Saints,” Chad reminds them.

_“Okay_ ,” Genevieve says slowly, _“but custom made what?”_

“I don’t know, what does she like?”

_“Candles. And flowers. Books.”_

Jared chews on his lower lip for a few seconds, aware of Jensen and Chad watching him closely, but unsure if he’s overstepping.

“Okay, I have two ideas,” he says finally, letting Genevieve decide on whether or not she wants the advice of someone she’s never met.

_“Hit me.”_

“Track down a first edition of a book she really likes, preferably something old that would have a lot of character, or have a flower named after her.”

There’s a heated pause and Jared chooses to keep his eyes on the phone still in Jensen’s hand and the one person who isn’t present for this conversation.

_“Jensen,”_ Genevieve says slowly, carefully.

Jensen clears his throat. “Yeah?”

_“Marry him.”_

“Yeah.” Jensen voice is breathy, almost wistful, and Jared feels himself blush again.

_“Chad,”_ Genevieve commands, _“let’s leave these two idiotic Romeos alone and get me to a computer.”_

Chad salutes, even though Genevieve can’t see him. “Yes, ma’am.” He crosses the room to snatch his phone from Jensen and marches away.

Jensen seems to lose his focus when the doors close behind Chad, the soundproofing doing its job as he continues the conversation with Genevieve.

“I should go,” Jared says quickly, rising to feet. He’s so confused, his whole idea of JADA and Jensen having been turned on its head twice in the space of thirty minutes and he just needs some time to decompress and think things through again.

And the disappointed look on Jensen’s face isn’t really helping.

“Oh, I, uh,” the porn boss clears his throat. “Well, I guess there’s nothing else we need to discuss here, if you have no more questions?”

It’s the way he says it that makes Jared realize that Jensen’s just hoping to keep Jared around for a little longer, and Jared doesn’t know what to do with that.

He wants to stay, of course he does, but the idea of Jensen being a married man – even if the marriage is fake – doesn’t sit well with him and he needs time to process that.

“If I do, I’ll be sure to call,” Jared tells him and that makes Jensen get to his feet as well, crossing to his desk and picking up a crisp, white business card from the holder. He grabs a pen and leans on the desk, scribbling something on the back of the card before he straightens up and hands the card to Jared.

“My personal cell number is on the back,” he says with a blush that Jared tries in vain not to find adorable. Jensen clears his throat again. “So, listen, tomorrow Christian is shooting all day in one of the houses we have out in the suburbs, I was hoping to take you down there, see if he has the time to…” He cringes. “I was going to say ‘fit you in’, but that seems kinda dirty and double entendre for this conversation.”

Jared laughs in spite of himself. “Yeah, sure, that shouldn’t be a-” he cuts himself off as something occurs to him and he looks up at Jensen with an embarrassed smile. “Is it gonna be a problem if I tell you I haven’t actually prepared for a shoot?”

Jensen’s brow creases. “Prepared how? You mean like a script or something?”

Jared gestures at his body. “No, me. I mean, I haven’t…prepared for a shoot.”

Jensen still looks confused for a second before he barks out a laugh. “Don’t worry, Jared. No one here’s gonna mind a little bit of body hair. Especially when it’s someone like you. I think you can relax.”

Jared lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “In that case, yeah, tomorrow shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Great, I’ll get Chad to text you with the address.”

“Okay, then I’ll see you guys tomorrow, then.” Jared heads towards the door, stopping before he gets there when Jensen calls his name.

“I, uh, I told Danneel I would give you some scripts to read over.” Jensen hurries back his desk to his computer and doesn’t see Jared’s nod. Danneel had mentioned something about Jensen having scripts to give him, though he was expecting them to be sent to him, not hand delivered by the boss like this.

“Hey, Jared, do you have an iPad?”

Jared shakes his head. “No.” That causes Jensen to blink and tear his eyes away from the screen.

“’No’, as in ‘I have one, but I left it at home’ or ‘no’ as in, ‘I don’t own one’?”

“Uh, the second one,” Jared answers. “What?” he says when Jensen just keeps looking at him. “I didn’t really think there was any need for me to get one. I’m not the kind of person who just buys things because I can afford them.”

Jensen just continues to look at him. “How did you get your scripts?”

“The guy dropped them off at my…” Jared trails off and he knows it’s odd, the awkward pause, but this isn’t something he wants to get into right now, how his scripts were sent to a post office box because he refuses to give out his address. “I got them when I needed them.”

Jensen eyes narrow, like he knows there’s something that Jared’s not telling him, but he doesn’t push, just gives Jared a quiet nod before he reaches down behind the desk. When he comes back into view, he’s holding an iPad encased in a blue sleeve.

“Danni bought the main staff one of those new mini ones each when they came out a couple months ago,” he says as he connects the tablet to his laptop, “so this kinda just got shoved in a drawer.”

Jared reaches for his wallet. “I can give you the cash for it.”

Jensen waves a hand at him. “Like I said, it was just gathering dust. It’s not like I have any real need for two of these things. I barely use the one I have at all.”

Jared sits back down again as he waits for Jensen to do whatever it is he’s doing, watching him the whole time. The way Jensen’s suit jacket falls over his shoulders is enough to make Jared’s mouth water and he has to get out of this room soon before the angry resolve he’d built up over Jensen’s perceived infidelity crumbles away completely in the face of Jared’s false conclusion jumping.

Jensen clicks a few more times with the mouse, pausing every few seconds to glance up at Jared through his lashes and Jared has to fight to stay in his chair.

This day is ending up being more confusing than Jared had really anticipated.

Then Jensen is coming out from behind the desk, slipping the iPad back into its sleeve and coiling up the cord.

“So, uh, here you go. Read over those and let me know what you think. If you see something you like, call me and we’ll go see the casting department next week and get started on the next step.

Jared smiles, taking the proffered piece of tech. “Thanks, Jensen, this is really great.”

Jensen holds out his hand. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” he phrases it like a question, like he needs the reassurance. 

“Just tell Chad to let me know what time I’m needed,” Jared replies, and he’s out the door before he can do anything stupid, like lean in and kiss the guy breathless.

Chad is still on the phone with Genevieve when Jared passes by his desk and he gives Jared a thumbs up as he types one handed. “See you tomorrow, Jay.”

_“Jared?”_ Genevieve’s voice says, still sounding tinny and hollow. _“Seriously, man, I don’t know how to thank you for your ideas. This is going to make me the best girlfriend in the history of ever.”_

“Glad I could help,” Jared says with a chuckle.

_“Has Jensen proposed yet?”_ Genevieve asks and Jared’s laugh turns nervous.

“Uh, no, not yet.”

_“Oh, okay, well, it’s only a matter of time.”_ Jared can practically hear her exaggerated wink.

He runs out of the room before Genevieve can say another word.

Or before he can say ‘yes’.

**Chapter 3**

“So, I talked to Genevieve,” is how Danneel greets him as she lets herself in through the backdoor of his house and helps herself to a can of Coke from the refrigerator.

Jensen frowns at her from where he’s slouched on the couch watching an NCIS rerun. “I would imagine that you talk to Genevieve a lot, what with her being your girlfriend and, you know, living with you.”

Danneel rolls her eyes. “Alright, I talked to Gen about something specific.”

Jensen watches as she kicks off her combat boots and curls herself up into the corner of his couch. He likes her like this, casual and comfortable and real, not the turned out, pristine career woman she is when she’s at the office. Right now she’s wearing skinny jeans and an AC/DC t-shirt that Chad bought her for Christmas five years ago, her auburn hair spilling over her shoulders in soft curls and she reminds him so much of that girl who lived next door to him in college and came over on their first day in the dorm to ask for some help setting up her printer and then never left.

It’s nice to know that girl still exists.

“Okay, and what is this specific thing that you talked to Gen about?”

“About how you knew Jared already and how you’re totally in love with him and how she thinks that you should marry him because he’s apparently perfect for you.”

Jensen groans as Danneel laughs and him and he buries his face in one of the couch cushions.

“Come on, Jensen!” she cajoles, “why didn’t you just tell me that Jared was the guy you met at the porn awards?”

Jensen shrugs. “I don’t know. I didn’t know if I was ever gonna see him again. Didn’t seem like something to make a big deal out of.”

“Was it a one-sided thing or do you think hared feels the same way?”

“He seemed pretty jealous this morning when he thought I was a married man trying to cheat on my wife.”

Danneel gasps and reaches out to smack him on the arm. “Jensen Ackles! You didn’t tell him that this was a sham?”

“I thought it was public knowledge! It is not my fault Jared doesn’t pay attention to the gossips!”

“How come he didn’t say anything at the awards? He must not have had much of a problem if he was flirting with you back then. What changed today?”

Jensen can feel his face heating up with his blush. “Uh, he didn’t actually know who I was back then, last year at the awards. I just never got around to introducing myself.”

Danneel’s smile this time is soft. “That’s why Gen insists that you’ve fallen hard for him. You like the fact that Jared liked you when he thought you were just a lowly stage hand or a writer or-. a fluffer or something.”

“Can’t deny that it made an impression,” Jensen admits, albeit reluctantly.

Danneel settles herself more comfortably into the couch cushions. “So what are you going to do? Are you going to ask him out?”

Jensen bites at his lower lip. “I dunno. I mean, he works for me, Dan. I’m his boss.”

“If you wanna get all technical about it, I’m his boss. I signed the contract, I sought him out in the first place and brought him to the company. I can get Jeff to go over his contract and make sure that you don’t have anything to do with PJ Tristan’s career.”

“That’s what Chad said,” Jensen tells her. “Don’t know if it’s really possible, though. You’ve never had any sort of interest in the male porn.” He snorts. “In any situation.”

“I deal with the girls all day long; how much different can it be?”

Jensen chuckles. “Come say that to me when you’ve been dealing with Misha Collins for a few weeks.” Misha and his wife, Vicki, are Jensen’s casting agents. They know every porn star in the business at any given moment, and they can, usually, pick the perfect actor for a role and Jensen loves working with them.

But there have been occasions when Misha’s own personal preferences have blinded him to the professional side of his job and his stubborn, tenacious attitude has often made Jensen want to throw him head first out the window. If he didn’t know it would be difficult to find a new casting agent that knew as much as Misha did, Jensen might just do it one day.

“Seriously, though, Jensen, it’s been a long time since there was anyone you wanted to date, and if Gen is gushing over this guy so much then I am going to have to do the wifely thing and tell you to ask him out.”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “My wife is encouraging me to ask another man out on a date. This is disturbing!”

“You like this guy! I don’t see what the problem is!”

“The other guys we have under contract. I don’t want them thinking that Jared’s getting special treatment just because we’re dating. He’s already got a contract that’s better than anyone else’s thanks to you.”

Danneel shakes her head. “No, he doesn’t. I have two girls under similar contracts to Jared’s. It’s not my fault that you’re not smart enough to lock your guys in so that they don’t go somewhere else.”

Jensen thinks about that. He knows that Danneel gave Jared a contract that will keep him at JADA for the remainder of his career and not because Jensen wanted to get into his pants.

There are other porn stars that Jensen has under contract that, while they aren’t as good as Jared, they can certainly hold their own – no pun intended – and they deserve to have their contracts reflect that. They bring in good money for JADA and they have a lot of fans who keep coming back for more, and Jensen should be rewarding them by making their contracts reflect what they’ve done for his company.

“I’ll take to Jeff. We have a few guys who deserve to have something better. I’ll see what he can come up with.”

Danneel beams. “Awesome. And in the meantime, I called Steve and he has a table for you, Friday night at eight.”

Jensen groans. “Dan, come on.”

“No, I am taking this matter into my own hands, because if I don’t, you’d never get the balls to do it.”

Jensen just rolls his eyes, but when he looks back at his wife, she’s uncharacteristically sober, her eyes heavy with affection.

“I want you to be happy. I want you to have someone who makes you happy. Chad and I always worry about you being the fifth wheel.”

“Well, you shouldn’t. I’m fine,” Jensen assures. “But I’m not going to miss out on getting with Jared if he really is interested.”

Danneel lunges forward to hug him. “Yay! I can’t wait to meet him!”

Jensen shoves her away. “You’ve already met him, you giant freak.”

“No,” Danneel pouts, “Mrs. Ackles has met him. It was purely professional then.” She gives him a wicked grin that makes him nervous instantly. “Now, I get to be Danni. And then the fun can begin!”

“Seriously, ginormous freak.”

///

“This is a closed set!” a gruff voice barks as soon as Jared opens the front door of the house he’d parked in front of.

Frowning, he checks the address with what Chad texted him, makes sure he’s in the right place before he speaks up.

“Uh, I’m supposed to meet Jensen Ackles here?”

“Aw, baby, un-bunch those panties I know you’re wearing.” Chad voice precedes him out of what looks to be the kitchen. “You’re gonna shit bricks when you see what Jensen’s brought you.”

How Chad knows the guard dog is wearing panties, Jared doesn’t want to know.

This isn’t exactly what Jared had expected when Jensen said they were going to the set where Christian, their director, was shooting. He was expecting to arrive at some sort of converted warehouse, or even another office building. But this looks like nothing more than a typical family home, complete with a white picket fence out front.

Sure, the house is closed off from the rest of the neighborhood, as far away from onlookers as it can possibly be, but it just looks so innocent and…wholesome that Jared’s thrown for a loop.

“Hey, you made it.” Jared looks up at the stairs to see Jensen coming down, a huge smile on his face that Jared can’t help but return.

“Yeah, but I have to say…this is not what I was expecting.”

“We have a couple of places in some pretty out of the way neighborhoods,” Jensen says. “We’ve converted them all and redecorated to suit our needs. Most of the non-loadbearing walls are on wheels so that we can get cameras in where we need them. Every room is decorated neutrally so that we can change it up depending on what the script says we need. And all the windows have been fixed so that no one can see inside. It’s pretty easy.”

Jared nods in agreement. “And are the basements all nicely tricked out like a dungeon?”

He means it as a joke but even before he’s finished speaking he can see the cold look wash over Jensen’s face and he stutters out an apology even as Jensen shakes his head.

“I’ve seen some of your early work, Jared, and I know you’ve done some mildly hardcore BDSM, D/S shoots in the past. I already told you that we don’t do that stuff at JADA, and if you’re looking to get back into that kind of work, then maybe this isn’t the place for you.”

“It’s not,” Jared assures quickly. “In fact, knowing that I wouldn’t be asked to do those kinds of shoots was one of my main motivations for signing with JADA. You said it yourself, Jensen, I haven’t done anything like that in years. Once I got enough of a reputation and following that I could choose my own scripts, I started turning them down. I haven’t done a shoot like that in…” Jared trails off, because he honestly doesn’t know how long it’s been since he was handed a whip and a ball-gag and told to go to town on some skinny little twink.

Jensen gives him a smile. “Just as long as we’re both on the same page. Kinda don’t want to lose you now that I’ve found you again.”

Someone hurrying quickly out of what Jared assumes is the living room reminds Jared that he and Jensen are still standing in the entryway, and also clues him in on the fact that Chad has apparently vanished. The guy has balls if he’s gone to face the guard dog.

“Come on,” Jensen beckons, “let’s go see what has David running around like his pants are on fire.”

Jared follows Jensen through the door that the guy – David, apparently – just flew out of, and suddenly finds himself surrounded by cameras, lights, sound equipment and more people that Jared thought should be able to fit into any given room.

Jensen flops down onto the black leather couch and Jared doesn’t really know what else to do but join him as he takes in the setup of the room.

“So, Chris, what’s got you in such a royally bad mood?” Jensen asks and Jared follows his gaze to the corner of the room, where a guy with tousled brown hair is sitting in a director’s chair, a pair of headphones around his neck and his eyes trained on a monitor set up in front of him. Jared takes him for their director, Christian.

He’s not really surprised by the sour expression on the man’s face, given the less than welcome reception his arrival had received, but what does surprise him is Chad standing behind Christian, running his fingers through his hair and whispering something into his ear.

After a few seconds, the director relaxes a little, melting back into Chad’s body as Chad’s hands come up around his shoulders, hugging Christian’s back to his chest.

“David,” Christian says, his tone almost acidic, “went out partying last night. He got drunk, stayed up too late, and then decided that the best thing he could do with his morning before he had to come into work to shoot a porn video was _bone his wife!_ And now he can’t get it up for the camera!”

“It was my fucking wedding anniversary, Christian! What the hell do you want me to do?!” David’s voice floats from somewhere deeper into the house and the sound of it just makes Christian sink deeper into Chad’s embrace.

Christian groans. “God, save me from overindulgent porn stars.”

Chad laughs and presses a kiss to the side of Christian’s head. “Just a couple more hours and then I’ll take you home for that massage I promised you this morning, how’s that sound?”

“Does this massage come with sex?” Christian asks, burrowing deeper into Chad’s embrace and Jared can’t help the soft smile that crosses his lips as he watches Chad lean down to whisper his reply into the director’s ear.

“Christian is Chad’s husband,” Jensen says casually, as if Jared hasn’t already figured that out.

Jensen’s voice makes Christian tear his attention away from Chad and he looks at the two of them on the couch. “PJ Tristan,” he says with something that sounds a little like admiration in his voice. “I was wondering if I’d ever get the chance to direct you.”

Jensen claps Jared on the shoulder. “Well, you are in luck, Christian, because Jared here, to call him by his real name, is JADA’s newest recruit.”

Christian gets up from his chair to cross the room to shake Jared’s hand. “Christian Kane.”

“Jared Padalecki,” Jared replies, a little thrown by the politeness.

JADA really is a whole world away from the companies he’s worked at before.

“So, I was thinking,” Jensen says with a wave of one hand, “since Dave is having trouble performing-”

“Fuck you, Ackles!” David shouts, cutting Jensen off.

“Two words for you, Boreanaz,” Jensen shouts back. “Contract. Terminated.”

The whole room seems to wait for David’s reply, but when there’s nothing but silence for several seconds, Jensen goes on.

“Jared’s never done a solo shoot,” he says, cutting right to the chase, “so I figured this was the perfect time for him to lose what is probably the last virginity he has left.”

Jared shakes his head. “Never fucked a girl,” he informs them, “that’ll probably be a virginity I take to my grave.”

Christian nods his head as he considers Jared for a few seconds. “Alright, Alona’s set up in the back bedroom. I’ve got some time before Aldis gets here. Go get pretty and I’ll get set up down here.”

Jared supposes ‘getting pretty’ means getting into makeup so he doesn’t argue when Jensen starts pushing him towards the stairs. He does, however, stop halfway so that he can turn back to look at Jensen. “I have a few questions.”

Jensen nods. “Alright, but let’s do this with you in the makeup chair. I do actually have a business to run and I’d rather not get any further behind than it seems we already are.”

Jared turns back around and climbs the rest of the stairs and then Jensen takes a hold of his biceps, steering Jared in the direction of the last bedroom on the left and Jared opens the door to reveal a small room and an even smaller blonde woman.

“Hi!” she beams, practically bouncing as she gives him a once over. “I’m Alona and you are new.”

“Jared,” he says a little distractedly. It’s not often he meets someone in this industry who doesn’t know him by sight and even less who don’t know him by name.

“Al, this is Jared Padalecki, he’s just signed with JADA this week,” Jensen introduces, pushing Jared further into the room so that he can close the door. “You’d probably know him better as PJ Tristan.”

Alona’s face brightens and Jared honestly didn’t think that was possible.

“Ooh, I’ve heard some of the boys talking about you. You’re a big deal in this biz, from what I can tell.”

Jared shrugs and tries to will his blush away.

“Alona Tal here is our resident makeup queen, well, the best one of the bunch, anyway.”

“Flatterer,” Alona giggles, landing a delicate punch to Jensen’s upper arm.

“Alona doesn’t really pay much attention to the fabulous world of gay porn,” Jensen continues. “She comes in, makes all our boys look real nice and then she goes home to her loving husband and pretends that the only thing our boys do for the camera is play checkers.”

Alona sniggers. “Not every girl in the world gets off on watching two guys getting their freak on.” She directs Jared to the makeup chair and starts matching foundations to his skin tone.

“Even Danneel admits that she finds it hot and she watches sometimes, and she’s, like, Queen of the Lesbians.”

“Does that make Genevieve her King?” Alona teases and Jared can’t help his laugh.

“I’m telling her you said that,” Jensen warns, but Alona just shrugs.

“I’ll tell her myself, we’re having dinner when I’m done here.”

Jensen pulls a wheeled stool out from…somewhere and swivels to Jared’s side. “So, you had questions about the shoot?”

Now he’s not so sure he wants to ask them in light of Alona’s confession, but she just gives him a smile.

“You can talk about it, I’m not a prude. I do watch porn, just not the kind we make at JADA.”

Jared wants to ask her why she’s working for a company that only produces gay porn and then realizes that that’s really none of his damn business, so he just throws her another smile and turns his attention back to Jensen.

“I already told you that I’ve never done a solo shoot before, but I’ve watched my share, and all the ones I can bring to mind right now are the cheesy, direct-to-camera shit.”

A thoughtful look settles on Jensen’s face. “You have something different in mind?”

Jared pauses for a second, thinking over his scenario. “Yeah, actually, I do. But I think I’m going to need your help.”

///

Thirty minutes later, Christian has been briefed of the plot of their story and the cameras have been set up and Jared is ready to go.

He’s in the kitchen of the prop house and Jensen’s standing in front of him with a glass of water in one hand and Jared thinks he looks pretty calm considering he’s about to star in his first porn shoot. Granted, he’s not going to be doing any actual porn, but that’s still the main goal.

There’s a guy standing next to them with a steady cam trained on them as they wait for Christian’s signal and Jared thinks his name is Mark – knows he heard an English accent when they were introduced – but he doesn’t spend too much time worrying about it. He keeps his eyes on Jensen, doesn’t flinch when another guy hits the clapperboard and then Christian’s voice echoes out over the whole house.

“And…action!”

Jensen laughs, a quiet burst of sound and Jared joins in, keeping to the non-existent script they’d developed upstairs as Alona touched up his face.

Jensen glances at his watch and flinches. “Shit, I gotta go before I’m even later than I already am.” He drinks down the water in the glass and it’s not hard for Jared to keep in character and follow the movements of the other man’s throat as he swallows.

“Thanks for coming by,” he says as Jensen starts for the door, “I really appreciate you putting yourself out on a limb for me.”

There’s more than one meaning to those words and Jared tries to put as much truth into his eyes as possible when Jensen turns from the open front door to smile at him.

“Hey, I’m just doing what I think is right. If Chris doesn’t like it, he can go fuck himself.”

There’s a snigger from somewhere that Jared knows is Chad followed by what sounds like a slap to the back of someone’s head and Jensen bites down on his lower lip to keep from adding his own laughter to the take.

“Still, thank you,” Jared continues and he holds his hand out to Jensen.

There’s something twinkling in Jensen’s green eyes as he looks from Jared face to his outstretched hand and back again, and then he’s leaning in close, pressing his lips to the corner of Jared’s mouth and if Jared needed any help performing the next part of this shoot, he doesn’t anymore.

“See you tomorrow, PJ,” Jensen winks, bouncing out through the door.

“See you, AJ,” Jared says as soon as Jensen is out of shot and he’s rewarded by the stumble in Jensen’s step.

He waits for a few seconds, acting like he’s watching Jensen drive off, giving a little wave to emphasis the point, when really, Jensen’s just standing there grinning at him and something is telling Jared to move away before Jensen does something to make him corpse.

He closes the door and lets himself lean back against it, throwing his head back so that the camera has a good view of his throat, leading down to the low V-neck of his t-shirt.

“Fuck,” he breathes, then swallows hard enough so that the movement is visible to the camera before he trails a hand down to his jeans, cupping himself through the denim and letting out a quiet groan that’s only just loud enough to be picked up by the microphone.

He worries at his lower lip with his teeth and he opens his eyes, looking around as though he’s considering something as he continues to massage himself.

“Fuck it,” he growls, pushing away from the door. Mark the camera man follows him expertly as Jared makes his way to the living room and heads for the chair that’s been set up for him.

The front door opens before he’s even sat down and Jared knows the sound of it will be edited out in post-production. He keeps Jensen in his peripheral vision as he boss makes his way around the room out of sight of the cameras until he’s standing at the monitor behind Christian and Chad and has to remind himself that Jensen’s re-entrance is not actually part of the script.

But knowing Jensen is there, in the room and watching him, turns Jared on even more than he already is and he knows he’s supposed to make a show of this, but he’s honestly not sure how long he’s going to last.

His hands are shaking when he reaches for the fly of his jeans, popping the button and letting out another groan. Jared’s other hand snakes up underneath his t-shirt, pinches at his nipples as he arches into the touch.

“Take off your shirt.” Christian’s voice is loud in the silence, even though it’s barely above a whisper and Jared doesn’t let himself react, just reaches for the hem of the t-shirt and pulls it over his head.

He doesn’t pay any attention to where it lands, he’s too busy trying to repress his blush and he hopes to God he can blame it on arousal and not embarrassment at the current state of his body.

He wasn’t lying before when he mentioned that it had been a while since the last time he prepped for a shoot, and the dark hairs against the tanned skin of his chest only attest to the truth of that. Still, there’s nothing he can do about it now, not with two cameras pointed at him and whole lot of people watching him getting his rocks off.

He pinches at his nipples with one hand while the other undoes his jeans the rest of the way, and then he needs both hands to push the denim down to his knees. He gives a little grunt of approval when he sees how well his new underwear looks against his skin and he’s glad he decided on that shopping spree. The briefs are black and snug and right now they’re straining tight over his erection and he hopes Mark the camera guy is getting this because he knows it’s gonna make for a hot shot.

He tries to hold back a little for that reason alone, but the idea of Jensen watching him getting himself off is making it hard to resist, pun definitely intended. So he doesn’t anymore, just pushes his underwear down, freeing his hard and leaking cock.

Jared licks his palm before he takes himself in hand, fisting his cock from root to tip in one long stroke before he runs his thumb across the head, gathering up the wetness there. His other hand reaches further, cupping and massaging his balls and he has to stop himself from letting his fingers drift lower.

PJ Tristan is the best top in the business. People – and Jared isn’t naïve enough to think that it’s only guys watching his scenes – pay money to see him in that role, as the ultimate alpha male. They fantasize about being him or being the guy he’s fucking.

No one wants to see PJ Tristan fingering himself as he jerks off in a seemingly empty room.

The thought is more than a little depressing.

Someone shifts, clears their throat under their breath and though he doesn’t open his eyes, Jared lets himself believe that it’s Jensen trying not to draw attention to the fact that he’s just as hard as Jared is.

It spurs Jared on, his hips pumping up to meet his fist on the down stroke, and as he presses his thumb to that spot just beneath the head, he knows he doesn’t have long to go.

When he feels his orgasm creeping up on him, Jared throws his head back, exposing the long expanse of his neck and then he just lets go, lets the wave of emotion crash over him and rides away on the pleasure.

He doesn’t even hear Christian say ‘cut’.

///

Jared’s in the shower and Jensen’s sitting at the kitchen island thinking that he really needs to be in that room with the porn star.

Either that or he really needs a cold shower of his own.

“So,” Chad says from over his right shoulder, making Jensen jump about a foot in the air, “scale of one to ten, how horny are you right now?”

He tries to give his assistant a scathing look, but said assistant is also Jensen’s best friend and there isn’t much Chad misses.

“Fifty-seven,” he says instead, dropping his forehead to the marble-top. 

“You should take him home.”

Jensen turns his head enough to glare at him. “And why would I want to do that?”

Chad sighs and pulls his attention away from the iPad in his hands. “Because you’re crazy about this guy, and he’s fucking ass over elbows for you, any moron can see that. This could be good for you; _he_ could be good for you.”

“’Good for me’?” Jensen repeats. “What are you even talking about?”

“Jensen, it’s been a damn long time since you were with anybody. Even Chris is getting worried about you.”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Despite what people might think, given that I am the king of my own porn empire, I’m not a sex addict and I’m perfectly okay with going a couple months between partners.”

“’S just not natural, ‘s all I’m saying,” Chad interrupts.

Jensen ignores him. “Besides, with Jared, I don’t want-”

“Sex?!” Chad exclaims. “You don’t want sex with this guy?!”

“Will you let me finish?” Chad mimes zippering his lips and Jensen goes on. “I don’t want this to be all about sex. If there even is a ‘this’. I want a relationship with this guy, something real, something…something permanent, maybe.”

Chad sort of collapses into the chair across from Jensen. “Oh.”

Jensen nods. “Yeah. I want…I want what you and Christian have, what Danneel has with Gen. And jumping into bed with him before we’ve even had dinner is not the way to do that.”

“Danni took Gen out to dinner and they moved in together the next day.”

Jensen has to stifle a giggle. While it wasn’t quite like that, Chad’s description isn’t far off the mark.

“And you and Christian dated for almost two months before he finally got you into bed,” Jensen counters.

Chad shrugs. “I just thought maybe that’s how you and Danni were raised.”

They share a laugh before Chad grows sober again. “I didn’t know you were looking for that, for that kind of relationship.”

“I wasn’t,” Jensen confirms, “not until Jared, I guess.”

“What about Jared?”

Jensen turns quickly at the sound of the voice and finds Jared leaning in the door way of the kitchen. His hair is wet, curling around his ears and dripping onto his gray t-shirt.

“We were just talking about promotion for the shoot,” Chad covers quickly and Jensen sends him a silent thanks.

Jared takes a seat next to Chad. “You’re pushing it hard?”

“No reason not to,” Jensen says as casually as he can, “we want to make sure all your fans know where to find you from now on.”

“So, what does that mean? Promotion?” Jared asks. He lets out a nervous laugh. “I never really took much of an interest in the business side of things at the other studios, but, I dunno, I feel like I should at least know what’s going on over here.”

Something flips in Jensen’s belly at the idea of Jared wanting to know more about the business – specifically, their business, like he was planning on being around for a while.

“Well, it usually takes about a week to edit a scene and put it together for viewing,” Chad starts while Jensen’s still finding his words, “but knowing the boss man here, he’ll probably want it done a hell of a lot sooner than that.”

Jensen shakes his head. “No, no a week sounds just about right. But I want it online no more than two weeks after it’s ready. We can use that time to let the news spread, but I don’t want people to get pissed off because we’re taking so long.”

“I can let the IT guys know to start getting the word out on the Twitter and Facebook today if you want,” Chad offers, making notes on his iPad.

Jensen hums in agreement. “Get them to tease it a little first, you know? Maybe make it into a contest, signed picture or t-shirt or something.” Jensen blanches, realizing his committing Jared to something without his consent. “You’re okay with that, right?”

Jared waves a hand. “Dude, whatever you have to do, totally cool with me.”

“We’re gonna actually need some pictures of the guy if you’re gonna have that kind of contest,” Chad points out and Jensen winces.

“Shit, you’re right. Is Hilarie available this week for a shoot?”

“Uh, let me give her a call.” Chad pulls out his iPhone and moves over to the other side of the room.

“You’re talking about a photo shoot?” Jared asks

“Yeah.” Jensen narrows his eyes at the porn star. “Why do you look so nervous about that? You have done photo shoots before, right?”

Jared blinks. “What? Yeah, of course I have, it’s just…I mean I haven’t…”

“Jared, are you familiar with the English language?” Jensen teases.

Jared lets out a breath in a grunt. “Not a lot of guys like the hairy look, you know?” He waves a hand at his chest and Jensen’s eyes are immediately drawn there, his mind conveniently removing the shirt for him.

“You’re really hung up on this whole waxing thing, aren’t you?”

“I just…feel more comfortable. It’s weird, I know, and a lot of the guys don’t bother nowadays, but I just…”

“Jensen,” Chad calls, “tomorrow is Gus’ birthday – which we’re all supposed to go to, by the way – so the best she can do this week is Friday.”

Jensen raises his eyebrows at Jared. “What do you think? Is tomorrow enough time for you to get yourself primped and ready to go?”

Jared laughs around his blush. “That’s fine.”

“Alright, tell her Friday at eleven and then find out if I need to get anything for the party.” Chad nods and turns back to the call while Jensen regards Jared again. “I’d invite you, but I honestly don’t think a three year olds’ birthday party is really your scene. We’re only going ‘cause Danni’s his Godmother.”

“And now,” Chad says dramatically, “I am officially declaring us off duty.”

Jensen balks. “What the hell?!”

“Oh, come on, Jensen. There is nothing for us to back at the office, because I really am that awesome and I cancelled any meetings you had for the rest of the day yesterday. And Chris has decided he’s only shooting one more scene today and then he’s going home to spend some time with his loving husband.”

“Well, you’ve just thought of everything, haven’t you?” 

“Pretty-”

Chad’s reply is cut off by Jensen’s cellphone ringing. 

Jensen sighs. “It was nice while it lasted.” Looking at the screen, he frowns when he sees the name flashing there. “What’s up, Henri?”

_“Hey, Jensen, listen, man, I’m sorry to call you on your cell, but I tried your office and Danneel said you were out for the day?”_ Henri O’Connor, an agent and producer Jensen has worked with in the past, at least sounds apologetic at having to call Jensen when he’s obviously not meant to be working.

Jensen waves a hand in the air. “It’s fine, Henri. What can I do for you?”

_“I know that you’re aware that Riley Smith has been taking time out from the industry this past year or so.”_ Henri pauses, clearly for dramatic effect. _“The thing is, Jensen, he’s looking to get back in the game and I thought maybe you’d be interested in a meeting?”_

Jensen lifts his eyes to Jared, a scene unraveling in his head. Jared and Riley, the best top and bottom in the business respectively, would be a match made in porn heaven. It would pretty much sell itself.

“Are you in the area? Can you get to my office this afternoon?”

There’s an amused lilt to Henri’s voice. _“We’re already in the parking garage.”_

Jensen narrows his eyes and makes a mental to make sure Henri doesn’t make anything more out of the deal they’re about to strike that he’s entitled to. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

Jensen hangs up and Chad looks defeated. “I was so close, man.”

Jensen gives him a pat on the shoulder. “Sorry, Chad. Looks like duty calls.”

“I’ll go say goodbye to Chris,” Chad huffs, “you go get the car.” He throws the keys as Jensen.

“Listen, before you take off,” Jared says in a rush as Jensen leads them outside, “I just wanted to ask you if you wanna have dinner with me this weekend?”

Jensen can’t help the grin that cuts across his face. “Friday. _Different Town_.”

Jared lets out a startled chuckle. “You been planning this? I might not have been in town for very long, but even I know there’s a six week waiting list for _Different Town_.”

“I know the owner; I can get us a table. If that’s okay with you, of course.” He conveniently leaves out the part about Danneel already making the reservation for him. He would have been able to get one on his own, had he wanted one.

“No, no, that’s fine. Completely fine.”

Jensen nods. “I’ll let you know what time when I see you on Friday.” With that, Jensen steps forward into Jared’s space and kisses him softly on the lips.

“Come on, you love birds! Stop flirting and let’s get moving!” Chad’s voice broke the moment and Jensen pulls reluctantly away.

“Friday,” Jared says, almost like he’s reminding himself.

“Friday.

**Chapter 4**

Jared leaves the salon feeling a whole lot better about himself than he did when he first went in more than three hours ago.

It’s not like he enjoys letting women pull his body hair out with sticky little strips of paper, but it’s the price he has to pay for his job, and he can admit – if only to himself – that he feels a lot more confident in front of the camera when his body looks as good as it can.

Jared knows there are men in the industry nowadays who don’t bother with the whole waxing and shaving and plucking routine, but he’s old school and he knows it. That’s not going to change just because he’s working for JADA now.

Sure, JADA have a few pretty boys on their books – Aldis Hodge could pout his way to an AMA any day of the week – but most of their regular guys are just that – guys, real men, with body hair and seven-day stubble and Jared knows he would fit right in with them without having to endure this kind of torture every week.

If his pride and vanity would allow him.

Shaking his head at himself, Jared digs into the pocket of his jacket for the keys to Tom’s truck, dancing out of the way of a teenage dog-walker and the eight pampered pooches she’s trying to control as he turns into the parking lot of the salon.

He lets out a short little laugh when he thinks about what his brother might say if he knew Jared visited beauty salon so often, but the laughter soon disappears when his reminded of what Jeff and the rest of his family would say if they found out about Jared’s chosen career.

They all certainly had a lot to say when they found out about Jared’s sexual orientation.

He’s thrown out of his thoughts – as maudlin and depressing as they are – when he spots a plain white envelope stuck underneath the wiper of Tom’s truck and Jared just…stops. Stops moving, stops thinking, stops _breathing_ , because this, this just cannot be happening. 

His cellphone buzzing in his pocket – set to silent for the duration of his appointment – pulls Jared out of his shock and he tears his eyes away from the truck. He takes it out, sees another text from Jensen and doesn’t feel the smile stretching his lips this time.

They’ve been texting each other off and on since the shoot the day before, a phone call, too, that had made Jared’s whole morning, and Jared feels himself falling even harder for the man, despite the mix up at his office.

And now he has to leave again. It’s only been six weeks since he packed up his apartment in New York and jumped into that rundown truck, not even sure if it would make it all the way to California. But he’s been found already – after he’s been so careful this time! Hell, the hotel room isn’t even booked under his own name!

Making his feet move forward, Jared crosses the twelve or so feet separating him from Tom’s truck and with shaking fingers, he pulls the envelope from under the wiper.

He needs to know, needs to know what the guys wants this time, how he found Jared so quickly, what he’s got to say for himself.

When Jared pulls out the flap of the envelope – not even registering that the front of it is blank, unlike the others, or the fact that the flap wasn’t stuck down – his brow creases when he sees a lot of colorful pieces of paper inside.

“What the hell?” he says out loud as he dumps them all out onto the hood. “‘Twenty-five percent off at Mr. Wong’s’,” he reads and feels his face heat up with embarrassment.

Jared looks around at the rest of the cars in the lot, spots an identical white envelope underneath the wiper of every single car and curses Mr. Wong for giving him a panic attack in the middle of a parking lot.

Sweeping up the coupons, Jared gets into the truck, tossing them into the foot well on the passenger side, hoping that Tom can put them to good use. Then he starts the truck, throws it into drive and pulls out of the lot, turning left at the end of the block, the opposite way from where he wants to go.

The drive to Tom’s place takes a little over forty minutes, which is surprising to Jared, given his abrupt introduction to LA traffic in the last three weeks, but he doesn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, just parks at an angle in front of the building where Tom lives and lets himself in with the key Tom gave him the day they moved him in.

“Need you to drive me back to the hotel,” Jared says as soon as he’s inside the apartment, not even bothering to look around before he throws himself into an armchair.

“You need to sign these,” Tom counters, pushing a pile of eight-by-ten glossy photos across the coffee table.

Jared makes a face at the sight of them. They’re old, at least six years, and Jared looks like nothing more than the scrawny kid he’d been when he’d been trying to make it in the fascinating world of porn.

Given the problems he has now, Jared wishes he could go back in time and tell that kid not to bother with this life, that slinging burgers at _Burger King_ was better than living in constant fear.

_But then you wouldn’t have Jensen,_ a tiny little voice says to him and he doesn’t know how to argue that, so he just lifts the black Sharpie and the pile of photos from the coffee table and starts signing his name – or rather, his porn name – to each shiny image of himself.

“I thought you’d decided you were gonna use my truck to save on cab fares?” Tom asks distractedly, his eyes on a piece of paper in his hand. He only reads for another few seconds before he crumbles the letter into a ball and throws it at a trash can. Jared follows its trajectory and sees a lot of little balls of paper littering the floor around the can and he’s never been so glad that Tom offered to be the one to take care of his fan mail. He’s not sure he can stomach some of the things his ‘fans’ write to him about.

Jared had met Tom his first month after leaving home. He’d been living at a shelter for homeless teens and looking for a place to live when Tom’s flyer had caught his attention in the window of a coffee shop. He’d been looking for roommates for his converted loft apartment. He’d already found two and was looking for one more to fill the smallest of the bedrooms. Jared had known he wasn’t in any position to be picky about where he stayed – even if he wasn’t sure he’d have enough room to even lie down in the miniscule room – and he had enough money saved from all of his weekend and afterschool jobs to give Tom a few months’ rent and utilities upfront and still have enough to get by until he found himself a job.

But a job had been hard to come by, and after three months, Jared was down to his last hundred dollars and seriously considering going back home to face the wrath of his family.

Then, one of his other roommates, Milo, had come to Jared with a proposal. 

Milo had been jerking off in front of his webcam for the last six months, and making a decent enough living that he could drive a brand new Ford Taurus while he took part time classes at the local community college.

But the guys who were getting their rocks off while they watched Milo getting his rocks off were growing restless with the same old routine night after night and they wanted something different, something more. Milo had known from the start that Jared was gay – as did his other two housemates, Tom and DJ – and offered Jared five hundred bucks up front to let Milo jerk him off in front of the camera.

Jared hadn’t really been in a position to turn down any kind of cash, and Milo was pretty hot, if a little nerdy, and so he’d said ‘yes’, and received his first ever hand job from a guy he barely knew with hundreds if not thousands of strangers watching the whole thing.

And they’d loved it. And the money was more than Jared could have even dreamed about, and the price went up the further they were willing to go until Jared was bending Milo over the end of his bed and glaring at the camera while he fucked the poor guy senseless.

His reputation had been made that night, and the phone calls from the studios had started the very next day.

Milo had wanted nothing to do with it. He’d been happy with their little set up in his bedroom, but he wasn’t going to stop Jared if he’d really wanted to go for it.

And Jared did. The money that was being offered was too good to turn down, and he did some calculations in his head, trying to work out how long he would need to do this before he’d have enough money to just live the rest of his life the way he wanted to.

He’d guessed roughly twelve years and had signed on the dotted line with that first studio.

The next day, Tom had set his own contract down in front of Jared. It said something about social networking and taking care of his fan mail, stuff that Jared had never even thought about.

Jared revised his plan, added another five years, and signed that contract, too.

And now here they were, ten years later and Tom’s still taking care of things that Jared overlooks, including Jared himself sometimes.

“I’ve changed my mind,” he says in answer to Tom’s question, throwing one photo onto the finished pile and moving onto the next one, “just can’t seem to get a handle on LA traffic.”

“You managed to do okay in New York City for six years,” his friend says absently and Jared just shakes his head.

“I don’t want a car and you can take yours back. I can call a cab if you don’t want to drive me.”

Tom finally looks up at Jared, a note of concern in his eyes. “What happened?”

Jared sighs. “Nothing, it was a stupid false alarm or whatever and I’m an idiot for getting myself worked up over nothing, but I’m just not really willing to take any chances. Not this time.”

Not when he might end up losing Jensen before he even really has him.

“Did you get another letter?”

“No,” Jared replies with a shake of his head, “there’s been nothing like that. Not for a while.” 

“Still don’t know how someone found out your home address, never mind your real name. It’s not like I post shit like that on your Facebook page,” Tom grumbles as he sets whatever’s in his lap carefully aside, ready to pick up again later when he returns. 

Jared doesn’t know if Tom’s just letting off steam, or if he’s honestly upset that someone went to the trouble of getting Jared’s address not just once, but six times in the last eighteen months. It’s the reason they moved, after all, and Jared wonders now if he’d somehow guilted Tom into relocating when it wasn’t what he wanted at all.

He still could have handled Jared’s fanmail from New York and it probably would have been a lot less hassle informing Jared’s fans about the change in address for said fanmail.

Jared signs his name to the last photo with a flourish he doesn’t really feel, wondering if Jensen will let him use any of the photos taken at the shoot the next day for stuff like this.

“I told you, the first one came to the studio lot. He was probably hanging around and heard the director or the other actor call me by my real name or something.” The lie trips easily off his tongue, when, actually, the first letter had appeared in exactly the same manner as today’s false alarm – stuck under the wiper blade of his car when it was parked outside of his apartment in Queens. 

Tom grabs up his keys from where Jared had tossed them on the coffee table and forces his feet into a pair of Chucks that look so old Jared thinks they’re about to fall apart, but he doesn’t mention it, just follows his friend out the door.

He tries not to think about the pained look in Tom’s eyes as he drives back towards Jared’s hotel.

The ride takes over an hour this time.

///

Friday morning finds Jared standing in front of a squat brick building a few miles away from downtown LA. It’s so out of the way that he honestly doesn’t know if he would have found it if he’d driven here himself instead of taking a cab, hidden down a side street as it is.

Inside isn’t what he’d imagined either, and Jared’s really starting to understand that Jensen and Danneel have tried to make their company as different from the other porn studios as possible, starting with making sure that their actors feel at home rather than on display.

And at home is exactly how Jared feels when he walks into what he had assumed was the lobby of the building and is greeted with a cozy looking family room instead, like he’s here to hang out and shoot the shit with friends, not to get his clothes off for a random stranger. 

It’s the first time he’s ever felt so relax on a shoot.

He’s just taken a seat on the huge brown sectional when a door that he hadn’t noticed opens and a woman sticks her head out.

“Can I help you?” she asks, her tone wary.

“Yeah, I’m supposed to meet Jensen Ackles here?” Jared doesn’t give her his name – his real one or the one he uses for porn – just waits to see if she knows who he is first. If she doesn’t, he’ll wait for Jensen before he offers her anything more.

It’s been a hard lesson, but one Jared has learned well over the last eighteen months. 

“Oh! You’re Jared! Sorry, I didn’t recognize you, my mind’s all over the place this morning.” Her whole face lights up and she steps out into the living room-come-lobby, reaching forward to offer Jared her hand.

“Yeah.” Jared stands up and takes her hand, shaking it firmly as he looks her over. She’s tall and slender but has a confidence about her that makes it impossible to think of her as delicate or anything like that. She’s got dark blonde hair that hangs around her shoulders in curls and she looks completely comfortable in her jeans and Chuck Taylors and the Led Zeppelin t-shirt she’s wearing looks like it might actually be vintage and not one of the reproductions.

“I’m Hilarie, Hilarie Burton. I guess I’m supposed to take some pictures of you today.”

“Oh!” Jared says, suddenly embarrassed. “You’re the photographer. Sorry, I guess I just expected a man.”

It’s another thing that Jared isn’t used to, women working with him. The other studios kept all of their sets strictly male only, but even after less than two days, Jared can already tell that that won’t be the case at JADA.

He doesn’t know if he likes it or if he’s terrified by the very idea.

Unaware of his inner dilemma, Hilarie laughs. “Yeah, just like Jensen to forget about the important details.” She frowns a little. “Are you okay with that? I do pretty much all the photography for JADA, but I can recommend a good friend of mine if you’d be more comfortable with a male photographer.”

“No!” Jared says quickly. “No, don’t be silly. It’s fine. I’m just not…to be honest, I think I’ve talked to more women this past week than I have during my entire career. Things are run very differently on the East Coast.”

That just makes Hilarie laugh even louder. “Well then, I hope you stick around, because trust me, girl-friends are just as important as boyfriends.” 

Jared thinks about Danneel and Alona and even Genevieve, who he’s never actually met, and smiles. “Yeah, I think you might be right.”

She gives him a little wink. “Alright, come on, superstar; let’s get you ready to go while we wait on your boss. He called to say he was running a little late, but he should be here by the time we’re ready to shoot.”

She wasn’t wrong. By the time Jared has had his makeup done and his hair fixed and is standing in front of a white background waiting for Hilarie, Jensen practically falls through the inner door and into the studio.

“I fucking hate LA traffic,” he groans as he tosses his jacket onto a chair.

“You’re just in time,” Hilarie tells him as he comes out of another room with a huge digital camera in her hands. “We were just about to start without you.”

Jensen grumbles. “You did start without me yesterday.”

“That’s a barefaced lie, Ackles. Gus was asleep and you know it. You woke him up!”

Jensen just throws Jared a wink as he takes a seat at the computer station Hilarie has set up in the corner of the room. “Alright, Padalecki, give me your best Blue Steel.”

Jared does as he’s told, much to the delight of Hilarie, who snaps picture after picture as Jared hams it up.

“Enough, enough!” she scolds after several minutes. “I need something I can actually work with here!”

“That’s okay, I’ll pay for prints of these ones, too,” Jensen says distractedly as he clicks through the photos on the screen.

Hilarie blinks, looking from one of them to the other. “Is there more going on here than what I’m seeing?”

Jared blushes. “Maybe.”

“Definitely,” Jensen counters, but he still doesn’t seem to be paying them even a little bit of attention and it’s only when new photos don’t show up on the computer that Jensen looks up. “What? What did I say?”

Jared gives him a shy smile before he turns his eyes back to Hilarie. “So, what do you want from me?”

“Hmm.” Hilarie considers him for a second. “Let’s get some headshots out of the way first.”

They fall into a sort of rhythm. Hilarie takes some close ups with Jensen directing her, then she pulls back, taking some full body shots as Jared turns left and right, changing his stance and pose every time she clicks the shutter.

It’s not easy, in fact it’s almost uncomfortable to be standing there under the hot lights as Hilarie and Jensen stare at him and direct him, but it’s not anything he isn’t used to. He’s done photo shoots before, for other studios, but never anything as intimate as this and it’s the intimacy that’s getting to him and he almost wishes that it was Jensen behind the camera.

“Okay, so shall we try for something a little more worthy of an adult website?” Hilarie asks and Jared considers her for a second.

“Sure,” he says finally, an idea forming in his mind.

Jared had never quite been able to manage to sultry, sexy, orgasm-inducing photographs that some of the other actors managed to achieve, and he knows that it’s in no small part to the fact that he can’t get his mind past the idea that he’s on display, like some prime cut of meat in the window of a butcher’s shop.

And, yes, he knows the irony behind that thought.

But there’s something different about this shoot, and that difference is sitting not ten feet away, studying every photograph Hilarie takes.

Jensen is the only man that Jared wants to imagine looking at him and it had been that way for two years, Jared just never felt the need to put that want to good use before now.

Now, he erases Hilarie, replacing her with Jensen instead, imagining them in the privacy of Jensen’s bedroom or Jared’s hotel room.

It’s surprisingly easy to give himself over to the fantasy. He follows their instructions easily, losing clothing as his poses get more and more suggestive.

When he’s lost his jacket, shirt and undershirt and is popping open the button on his jeans, Hilarie looks up at him from behind her camera.

“I don’t mean to sound crude here, but, uh…can you…” she gestures to his crotch, “you know…can you get it up?”

Jared casts a glance at Jensen out of the corner of his eye and tries not to smirk. He’s pretty much been hard since he started with this whole fantasy.

And by the look in Jensen’s eyes, he isn’t the only one.

Hilarie turns away, apparently to change the disc in her camera, but Jared knows that she’s trying to give him some privacy. Jared decides not to tell her that he doesn’t need it, just let’s his eyes lock with Jensen’s again and imagines the older man taking him right there in the studio.

When Hilarie returns, Jared has his jeans open all the way, his erection clearly visible as it strains against the gray briefs he chose that morning.

She takes a few shots like that, then asks him to lower the jeans every few minutes until Jared’s left standing in nothing but the gray briefs and a very visible hard on.

She tears her eyes away from Jared to glance at Jensen. “You want this to go any further?”

“No,” Jensen says quickly, never taking his eyes from the screen. “Actually…” he trails off as he pauses, regarding whatever image is on the screen with a tilt of his head. “Have him take off the underwear, but turn his back to you.”

“I am right here, you know,” Jared reminds him with a grin, “you can talk to me.”

“I’m pretending you’re not in the room, so that I can keep myself in this chair,” Jensen explains, his voice flat and emotionless and Jared feels heat crawl across his face.

Hilarie fans herself. “Oh, boy. Anyone know where that man of mine is right now? I might need to go and avail myself of his services once this is over.”

Jared blinks at her, having no idea who her man actually is.

“Hilarie is Jeff Morgan’s fiancée,” Jensen says with a wink.

Jeff Morgan was the man responsible for helping Danneel to draw up Jared’s contract. Jared met him numerous times during the week they were hammering out a deal and he thought that the lawyer was a nice man, perfectly suited to the loud and boisterous Hilarie.

“He decided when he’s gonna make an honest woman outta you?” Jensen asks with a sly grin and Hilarie just shakes her head, as if this is an old argument they’d had dozens of times, but she doesn’t answer.

Instead, she winks at Jared and twirls her finger in the air. “You heard the boss, turn around and drop them.”

Jared complies. He turns his back to Hilarie and pulls the underwear down until his ass is on full display, then throws her a smug smile over his shoulder as she snaps the shot.

“I think I’m gonna frame that one,” Jensen mumbles and Jared gets rid of the briefs completely, kicking them over to Jensen with another smile.

He’s lucky he has his back to the camera when Jensen picks the underwear up off the floor and starts spinning them around on one finger.

“You know, you should have a new boyfriend more often,” Hilarie tells Jensen as she takes the last picture, crossing the room to set the camera down next to the computer. “You’re so much fun right now.”

“We haven’t even gone on a date yet,” Jared points, going over to his pile of clothes. Something hits his back and he looks down to see his briefs on the floor.

“Cover yourself up before I do something that really isn’t for anyone else’s eyes,” Jensen orders.

Jared blushes and complies, even as Hilarie laughs.

“The guy’s a porn star, Jensen. Everyone has seen him get his freak on.”

“That doesn’t mean our sex life is for public consumption.” Even with his back turned, Jared can hear the deep rumble of aggravation in Jensen’s voice and he has to struggle to keep himself in check.

In the end, he can’t do it and just growls low under his breath. “Can I get out of here? I’d like to go jump in a cold shower before dinner tonight,” Jared says as he sits on the floor to retie his boots.

“Oh.” Hilarie stands up straight, her eyes wide. “I think I hear…the…phone. Yes, the phone’s ringing. Ears like a bat.” She runs out through the door that leads to the lobby.

“Subtlety is not her strong suit, I see,” Jared says.

“She’s been with Jeffrey Dean Morgan for going on five years now, subtle does not work on that man, so she’s kinda just abandoned the whole practice.” Jensen stands up and walks over to Jared, reaching down a hand to pull him back to his feet. 

“So, uh, what are your plans for the rest of the day?” Jared asks as they make their way to the door, stopping only so that Jensen can pick up his jacket and shout a goodbye to Hilarie.

“Just go have sex!” she replies, making both Jared and Jensen blush even harder than they already were.

“I’m thinking I might follow your lead with that cold shower before dinner tonight.”

“Yeah,” Jared agrees shakily. “I know I probably got the best shots of my entire career in that shoot, but having you right there was harder than I thought it was gonna be.”

“Pun intended?” Jensen smirks.

“Definitely.”

Outside, Jared blinks in the early afternoon sunshine, wishing he’d remembered to bring his sunglasses and wonders where he’s going to find a cab.

“Where are you parked?” Jensen’s got car keys in his hand and he’s turning towards the alley at the back of the building.

“Uh, I don’t have a car. I was just gonna walk in the general direction until I spotted a cab.”

A frown creases Jensen’s forehead. “But you had a truck when you came out of your meeting with Danneel the other day.”

A small smile creeps over Jared’s face at the idea of Jensen watching him, but he schools it quickly. “I borrowed it from a friend. Haven’t really had a chance to get to a dealership or even to a hire company. It wasn’t exactly a priority.”

Not like getting as far away from the East Coast.

Jensen clears his throat. “Do you need a ride? I was just gonna head home anyway, so it’s not like you’ll be keeping me from anything.”

“No, but I probably live in the complete opposite direction from your house.”

Jensen gives Jared a look that says he thinks Jared’s a little bit slow and Jared has to wonder how they got to that level of comfort so quickly.

Then he remembers that Jensen watched him jack off the day before and saw him strip naked today, so there’s not much more to get of his chest than that.

“A ride would be great.”

Jensen beams at him leading him to a black SVU parked not far away and Jared really hopes he can keep his hands to himself when he’s locked inside a car with the man of his dreams.

///

There’s an atmosphere inside the car as Jensen drives them, following Jared’s simple directions.

It’s not tense, or strained, but it’s definitely there, hanging over everything they do or say and Jensen doesn’t know how to get rid of it.

No, scratch that, he does know how to get rid of it, but during their early morning phone call, they’d both talked about what they wanted out of this and how they wanted to take it slow and let it build before they jumped into anything, and jumping into bed would definitely not be slow.

Jensen can understand Jared’s stance. Sex is practically Jared’s entire life; it would make sense that he would want to make sure that a relationship was worth it, that the guy wasn’t just interested in him because he was PJ Tristan, and the last thing Jensen wants to do is be that guy.

“So, did you have a chance to look over those scripts?” he tries. He knows he only gave the scripts to Jared two days ago, but he figures it’s a safe enough topic that he won’t feel the need to confess his undying love for the man sitting in his passenger seat if his mind is on work.

Jared clears his throat. “I did, actually.”

Surprised, Jensen risks a glance at him. “Yeah? And? Anything stand out at you?”

“I really liked the mechanic one. I’ve never done anything outside of a sound stage or a private apartment, so to do something on the side of the road…I don’t know; it’s kinda thrilling or something.”

Jensen grins. “I admit, I was kinda skeptical when it was first pitched, I don’t think we’re gonna get permission from the city to shoot a gay porn movie on the side of a highway, deserted or not.”

“That could be a factor,” Jared agrees, the little bit of enthusiasm he had disappearing from his voice. 

“But then I found out that Jim, one of the camera men on site yesterday, has a sort of vacation home way outside the city. Like, way, _way_ outside the city. It’s got a lot of land, lot of open space and wooded area. He’s given us permission to shoot there if we ever decided to pick this up.”

Jared turns in seat to look at Jensen. “You can make it look like a highway?”

Jensen shrugs. “We might need to tweak the story a bit, a deserted back road instead of a highway. We’ll make it work that way if that’s what you wanna go with.”

Jared nods. “Yeah, I think that would be good for my first shoot with JADA. Something different, a little unorthodox.”

“Cool,” Jensen says. “If you’re okay with it, we can meet with the casting agents on Monday; maybe start filming at the weekend. Assuming of course that Jim isn’t using his place that weekend.”

“Sounds good to me.” Jared turns back to look out the windshield. “Oh, pull over here.”

Jensen frowns but does as he’s told, looking out his own window at the hotel he’s parked in front of. “You live here? In a hotel?”

Jared flushes prettily but he doesn’t meet Jensen’s eyes. “There are reasons, really, really good reasons. Reasons I should probably tell you about before this, whatever this is, goes any further. But…”

Jensen looks at him expectantly, but Jared doesn’t go on, just stares out the window and chews on his lower lip. 

Jensen tries to imagine why Jared would choose to live in a hotel instead of getting an apartment or even a small house. It’s not like Jared can’t afford it. It just seems so impersonal, so detached, so…temporary.

If it wasn’t for the contract Jared has signed, Jensen would believe that he wasn’t planning on staying in town for any length of time.

“I guess it’s nice that you don’t have to pick up after yourself,” he tries, a tight smile pulling at his lips.

“Yeah,” Jared agrees, sounding distracted. “Listen, Jensen…” He trails off and bites down on his lip again.

“Jared?” Jensen asks, growing more concerned with every second Jared stays quiet.

Jared turns to look at him so quickly that Jensen flinches, startled. 

“I want you to come inside,” Jared says in a rush. “We don’t have to do anything, we can just talk or…I just don’t want you to go right now. It’s stupid and creepy and you probably want to home and do some work or take a shower before dinner tonight, but-”

“I can shower here,” Jensen interrupts and Jared lets out a breath he doesn’t seem to realize he’d been holding.

“I remember what I said, and I meant it. I don’t want this to be based on sex.” Jared looks up at Jensen through his lashes, a nervous smile tilting his lips. “But I think I’m okay with making out for a little while.”

Jensen’s undoing his seatbelt before Jared can say anything further and he thinks he can hear Jared’s dirty little laugh as he gets out of the SUV, handing his keys over to the valet and getting a ticket in exchange.

The lobby was bright and airy, full of glass coffee tables filled with flowers and chairs and couches with too many angles to be comfortable. There are people milling about everywhere, hotel staff going about their business and guests enjoying some time out of their rooms as they headed to the bar or restaurant or spa.

But Jensen’s not interested in any of them, he just wants to get across the lobby as quickly as possible and into the elevator, so that they can get up to Jared’s room and lock themselves away from the outside world.

They’re about half way to their destination when someone calls Jared’s name, and they both turn to see the concierge leaning over his desk and looking at them.

“Yes?” Jared asks, but he doesn’t move towards the man.

The concierge looks down at his desk, hunting through whatever papers he’s accumulated there until he finds what he’s looking for and he holds a plain white envelope out towards Jared. “This was left for you.”

When Jared doesn’t move to accept the letter, Jensen looks up at him and gasps when he sees just how pale Jared is, as though all the blood has drained from his face. His eyes are wide, glued to the whiteness of the envelope but he’s stiff at Jensen’s side, like there’s nothing on this earth that could make him take even one step closer to that letter.

With a tight smile at the concierge, Jensen steps forward to take it, handing over a sizable tip even though he knows it’s frowned upon in places like this.

Jared hasn’t moved an inch and Jensen reaches out to take his hand. “Jared? Jared, come on.” He gives a slight tug and Jared’s eyes flick to his, still wide and fearful. “Let’s go, Jared. It’s alright.”

Jared nods slowly and lets Jensen lead him towards the elevator, staying close to Jensen when other people crowd in, his hand tightening on Jensen’s.

“What floor?” When Jared just stares at him, Jensen gives his arm a little shake. “Jared, what floor?”

“Nine.” Jared voice is a choked whisper and it makes Jensen’s stomach constrict almost painfully but he ignores it and steps forward to push the right button.

The elevator ride is silent; no sound except a woman tapping on her Blackberry and a young couple giggling quietly in the corner.

Jared’s still practically catatonic when the car arrives on the right floor and Jensen steers Jared out into the hallway, trying to figure out which way he should be walking.

“Room nine twenty,” Jared says hoarsely and Jensen takes a moment to be grateful that he’s still aware of his surroundings before he turns them left and starts walking, stopping before the right door.

“Keycard?” he asks, a little desperately and he isn’t really surprised when Jared just blinks at him, like he has no idea what Jensen’s talking about. 

With a deep breath, Jensen reaches into Jared’s pocket and pulls out his wallet, finding the white keycard in one of the little pouches at the back.

When he gets Jared inside, Jensen doesn’t even pause to take in the actual room, just spots the sitting area over to the right and manhandles Jared in that direction, depositing him in armchair.

Jared is scaring him, terrifying him, even, and Jensen glances down at the envelope that’s still in his hand. There’s nothing innocuous about it, in fact it looks perfectly innocent, but Jared’s having a full on panic attack and Jensen just can’t ignore the fact that this envelope is the reason for his breakdown.

Sparing half a second to look around the room, Jensen finds a refrigerator tucked into a corner and he crosses to it quickly. Pulling three bottles out, Jensen goes back to Jared, kneeling down in front of him as he hands Jared the first bottle.

“It’s just water,” he says when Jared starts and he’s relieved when Jared just nods, taking the bottle in his hand and gulping down a few grateful mouthfuls. 

He waits for a few minutes, until Jared’s looking slightly more aware of his surroundings, before he hands over the second bottle.

Jared swallows the minibar-sized bottle of vodka without comment and Jensen does the same with the bottle of Jack he retrieved for himself.

He gives Jared another few minutes to pull himself together before he rests a hand on Jared’s thigh and forces the other man to meet his eyes.

“You wanna tell me what that was all about?”

Instead of answering, Jared nods his head at the envelope that Jensen dropped on the floor next to him. “What’s it say? On the front. What does it say?”

Confused, Jensen picks it up again, turning it over in his hands so that he can read the white label that’s been stuck to the front, printed in a clear typeface.

“Jared Padalecki.” Jensen reads the words easily and he flinches when Jared suddenly laughs; it’s a horrible sound, full of terror and anger and something that sounds suspiciously like resignation.

“Jared, who is this from?”

Jared shakes his head. “I don’t know. I’ve never known.”

With concern in his eyes, Jensen focuses his attention on the letter, tearing it open, uncaring that he’s opening someone else’s mail, uncaring that this could be something really personal to Jared. 

His frown deepens when he reads the typed words on the single piece of paper contained inside the envelope.

“What does it say?” Jared asks in a wrecked voice and Jensen has to look up at him.

“It says-” Jensen’s voice catches and he pauses to clear his throat. “It says ‘How could you choose him over me? What does he have that I don’t? I’m going to prove it to you, Jared. I’m going to prove to you how worthless he really is.’”

Jared turns green and Jensen has just enough time to grab the trashcan before Jared throws up everything he’s eaten since he woke up.

“Jared,” Jensen tries as Jared dry heaves into the can, “Jared, talk to me. Who is this guy?”

Jared shakes his head. “Don’t know. They started two years ago.”

“What did?”

“The letters.”

Jensen looks down at the paper in his lap and suddenly, he gets it. “Someone’s stalking you?”

“It’s the reason I moved here, the reason I decided to take Danneel up on her offer of a solo contract with JADA. I thought that, if I moved all the way to the other side of the country, it would take him a while to find me. I thought I could relax for a while. But it took him less than six weeks to track me down.” Jared lets out another hard and brittle laugh. “It took him longer when I just moved down the block.”

“We have to do something,” Jensen says decisively. “We have to find this guy, file a police report. Something.”

Jared looks up at him, the confusion in his eyes giving way to dread and he jumps from the chair so fast that Jensen gets knocked on his ass.

“I have to get out of here,” he says and Jensen nods, because, yes, they need to get Jared to someplace where this guy can’t get to him, but that doesn’t seem to be Jared’s thinking as he continues to babble while he throws clothes onto the bed.

“He knows about you, Jensen, I mean, he can’t be talking about anyone else, I haven’t been with anyone else, and I can’t risk that, risk you. I’d die if you got hurt because of me. So I should go. Maybe I should leave the country? I hear England’s nice.”

And Jensen’s just about had enough.

“Jared, stop,” he says sharply as he grabs Jared by the upper arms, forcing him to stop. “You have to calm down.”

“I have to get out of here, Jensen!” Jared yells. “You’re not safe around me and I need to make sure you’re safe.”

“No, Jared, we need to make sure that _you’re_ safe,” Jensen tells him softly, guiding back to the chair. “You have to think about this, Jared. This guy is stalking you, is obsessed with you, to the point that he doesn’t want anyone to get close to you. Why haven’t you done something about this?”

Jared blinks up at him like he doesn’t understand the question. “What can I do? It’s not like the police are gonna take me seriously. I mean, come on, Jensen, look at me!” Jared yells, forcing Jensen to take a step back. He stands up at his full height, his arms stretched out to the sides and Jensen has to admit, he makes for an imposing sight.

“What cop in their right mind is going to think that I can’t handle someone hassling me?”

“But that’s just it, Jared, this isn’t just someone hassling you. This is someone who’s followed you all the way across the fucking country! This is someone who can get close enough to the place where you live. Fuck, Jared, did you even think this through before you decided to move into a hotel?”

Jared scoffs. “Of course I did! The hotel isn’t even booked in my name. It’s under my friend, Tom. I give him the cash and he pays the bill every week.” Jared starts pacing, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t have a car, so there’s nothing in my name. Tom and I drove here from New York so that there were no flight tickets under my name. There is nothing that he could have followed, at least not easily.”

“Apart from the fact that your name and face is plastered across the internet every day?” Jensen counters. 

“Yeah, but not my real name or where I’m living. This guy, whoever he is, he didn’t start this because of the porn. He’s never called me by my porn name and it was a couple of months before he mentioned it, like he didn’t know before that.”

Jensen shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter, we need to get your face off the internet, it’s probably just fueling this obsession.”

“No!” Jared yells. “No, Jensen, I’m not gonna let this guy push me into giving up my career. Yeah, okay, porn may not be as glamorous or as respectable as some jobs out there, but I love it. I make damn good money out of it and I’m not ready to call it a day just yet. I have a plan and I’m not gonna let this jerk-off get in the way of that.”

Jensen narrows his eyes. “What plan? What are you talking about?”

“You think I want to do porn forever, Jensen? You think that was my big dream growing up, to be a gay porn star? I’m in this for the money, Jensen. Yeah, I like my job, but at the end of the day, it’s exhausting. It’s taken over my whole life. Everything I do revolves around my next shoot and I long for the day when I have enough money to retire and just…breathe. Just do nothing for a while.”

Jensen nods. He gets it, of course he does. It’s one thing for Jensen to make his living in the exciting world of gay pornography, but it’s an entirely different matter for the stars of his movies, the ones who have to put themselves on display day after day after day.

Yes, no one is forcing them to do this, but Jensen’s not naïve enough to think that every one of the actors on the books at JADA got into porn just because they wanted to. Sure, there are a few like that – Justin for one, and that Rachel girl, who’s climbing her way up the ladder on Danneel’s side of the business – but the majority of porn actors got started because they needed the cash, and stayed because the money was too good to turn down. 

Most of them wash out within four or five years, tired of flashing their asses to millions of people and deciding they wanted to give the real world another try.

Jensen doesn’t blame them, and he always makes sure to give them a healthy bonus when their contracts expire, enough to cover rent and other necessities for at least a couple of months.

And then there are the guys who get deeper into the scene than Jensen wants to think about, the ones who leave JADA because of their no hardcore, BDSM rule. The ones who want to dominate and be dominated and they fall into that dark, desolate pit, rarely to be seen again.

But Jensen can tell that Jared’s different. Yes, he’s after the money, but he also has a plan and he knows exactly when he’s going to pull out and Jensen admires him for his convictions even as he’s trying to think of ways to speed that plan up a little and get Jared out a hell of a lot sooner.

Especially considering the stalker.

“Okay,” he says in a soft voice, putting his hands on Jared’s shoulders. “I’m not gonna stand here and tell you what to do. You’re a grown man, Jared, and you know what you want, and I admire you for not letting this guy get in the way of what you want.”

Jared takes a deep breath. “I hear a ‘but’ in there somewhere.”

“But,” Jensen says with a grin, “we have to get you out of this hotel and we have to go to the police and file a report.”

Jared flinches. “Leave the hotel? Why? I’m safe here. It’s not in my name, he can’t get to me.”

“Jared, he got close enough to leave a letter for you at the front desk. It’s a hotel, there’s no security. There’s nothing to stop him walking right in and following you into the elevator. You have no idea what this guy looks like.”

All the color that had returned to Jared’s face drains away again at the possibility of the stalker following him right to his door and Jensen leads him back to the chair, kneeling in front of him again as Jared drops his face into his hand.

“Where am I going to go?”

Jensen can see him running through ideas and trying to figure something out, but Jensen already has a plan in mind.

“You’ll come stay with me.”

Jared jerks upright, his eyes wide and almost wild loing. “Are you out of your Goddamn mind? This guy is gunning for you, Jensen! You’re the only guy I’ve even _thought_ about being with for years, it has to be you. Although I have no idea how he even knows there’s something to know about. And you want to put us under the same roof?!”

Jensen holds up a hand to stop Jared’s tirade. “Okay, first of all, if this guy really is following you around, then he probably saw me kissing you on the porch after your shoot the other day.”

Jared relaxes a little, as though he was thinking of another, more disturbing way this guy could have found out about their blossoming relationship and is comforted by Jensen’s theory. Jensen really doesn’t want to think about what Jared’s theory might have been.

“Second,” he goes on, “I live in a gated community. There’s a gate with a security guard just to get onto the main street, and then there’s another gate with a code to get into my driveway. There’s a security guard on duty at all times, and no one gets in unless one of the residents has told the guards of their arrival, and even then they have to check with the resident the visitor is coming to see. It’s as secure as just about anything.”

Seriously, Jensen loves his house, and the idea that the added security features that were such a selling point to Jensen, Danneel and Chad when they bought their houses could help keep Jared safe from this psycho makes Jensen feel like a bit of a hero.

And the look in Jared’s eyes, the gratitude and appreciation and the relaxing of his whole body, makes Jensen realize that Jared hasn’t felt safe in a very long time.

Jensen reaches up and presses a kiss to Jared’s lips, lingering longer than he probably should, given the situation and the fact that Jared just threw up in the trashcan.

“Come on, you start packing, I’m gonna go down and talk to the valet guy.”

Jared frowns up at him. “Why?”

“I wanna see if there’s a back way out of this place. You know, for when they have celebrities staying and they don’t want to deal with the sea of paparazzi that are camped out at the front door.”

“You think he’s watching the hotel?” Jared asks quietly.

“I think it’s a possibility. Hell, Jared, he might even be sitting in the lobby and was watching the moment you got that letter.”

Jared nods shakily and he’s looking round like he’s not sure he should trust this room anymore.

Jensen palms his cheek, allowing himself a small smile when Jared leans into the touch. “Pack,” he whispers with another kiss. “I won’t be long; I’ll take the keycard with me. Just promise me you won’t open the door to anyone.”

“I promise,” Jared swears and he gets up, following Jensen to the door. 

Once he’s out in the hallway and the door is closed solidly behind him, Jensen can hear Jared throwing the deadbolt into place and he lets out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.

**Chapter 5**

Jensen stays in the car and watches as the huge gates that sit at the end of his driveway swing closed with a comforting metallic clang before he turns to Jared in the passenger seat and offers him a small smile, one that Jared doesn’t return.

Jensen understands, but he still wishes there was something he could do to make Jared breathe a little easier.

When he’d gone to the lobby of the hotel to speak to the valet, Jensen had felt naked and exposed, looking around at all of those people, wondering if one of them was the person who was causing Jared so much pain, wondering what he would do to that person if he ever got his hands on them.

It was all the motivation Jensen needed to get Jared packed up and out of the hotel as fast as humanly possible, and now, a little under two hours later, Jensen has Jared someplace this guy can’t touch him, can’t get near him and it makes his heart rate slow down just a little and he relaxes back into his seat.

But it picks right back up again when Jared shifts in his seat and Jensen starts thinking about just how far gone he is for this guy after such a short space of time.

It’s been less than two days and already Jensen’s having a hard time trying to remember what his life was like without Jared in it. He’s imaging what Christmas is going to be like with the two of them living together – will Jared’s parents want him to go home to Texas or will they make the trip here? And now Jensen’s trying to decide which guest room they should have and, yeah, he really needs to get Jared out of this car.

“Come on,” he says gently, “let’s get you inside. I’ll give you the grand tour.”

It takes Jensen two trips to get all of Jared’s suitcases and rucksacks and garment bags from the trunk of his SUV, with Jared barely managing to shoulder his share of the load as he walks about like he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Jensen refrains from saying anything to him, because, after all, he has no idea how Jared’s managed to hold his head up for this long.

When all of Jared’s things are piled against the wall just inside the front door, Jensen has a moment to take a breath before he’s hit from behind in the bend of his knee and he reaches out to grab hold of Jared’s arm as he loses his balance.

“Son of a-” he starts before he turns around to glared at his assailant, who just looks up at him with a guiltless expression and Jensen can do nothing more than roll his eyes.

“Dammit, Oscar.” Before Jensen can say anything more, Jared’s down on his knees and Oscar is practically in his lap. “Should I leave you two alone, or…?”

Jared looks up at him with a bright smile on his face as Oscar licks at his now exposed neck. Despite the shadow of doubt and uneasiness that Jensen can still see hanging over Jared’s head, it’s the most relaxed Jensen has seen the other man since Hilarie’s studio and he promises himself that he’ll pick up an extra treat for Oscar the next time he’s at the store for putting that look on Jared’s face.

“You never said you had a dog, man,” Jared says, his voice a few octaves higher. He scratches Oscar behind the ears while Jensen shrugs.

“Just…never came up, I guess.”

The truth is, Jensen had thought Jared had already known about Oscar, and he’s sharply reminded of that fact that he and Jared have only known each other for a few days. They just fit together so seamlessly, it’s like Jared has always been a part of his life.

It feels as though moving Jared into Jensen’s home should be just another natural step in their relationship and the fact that it’s not, that the only reason he’s moving in is for security reasons, makes something in Jensen’s chest clench painfully.

“I love dogs,” Jared announces as he continues to drown Oscar with affection, “I’ve just never lived anyplace that allowed me to get one. It’s not really fair to keep a big dog cooped up in a tiny apartment all day.”

“You could always get one of those tiny things that you can fit in your pocket.” The look Jared gives him makes Jensen snigger and then he erupts into full on laughter when an image of Jared carrying around a Chihuahua dances across his minds’ eye.

Jared manages his own laugh in return, subdued and a little sad in the face of Jensen’s, but Jensen is glad to hear it anyway; it means that his Jared is still in there somewhere, buried underneath the weight of everything he’s trying to deal with.

“Alright,” he says, clearing his throat, “let me show you were to put your stuff, and then you can play with Oscar all you want while I grill us a couple steaks for dinner.”

Jared rises back to his full height, wiping his hands off on the seat of his pants as he gazes at Jensen with an unreadable look in his eyes. “I thought we were going out for dinner?”

Jensen shakes his head. “I don’t think we’re really in the right headspace to sit in the middle of a crowded restaurant right now. Besides, I don’t think I can put up with Steve’s probing questions tonight.”

“Steve?” 

“The head chef and one of my best friends.”

“Ah,” Jared says with a bob of his head, “third degree.”

“More like fifth degree,” Jensen corrects, “Danneel and Genevieve will undoubtedly try to ambush me at some point before the weekend is over.” He orders Oscar back to his doggie basket in the other room and beckons Jared with a tilt of his head. “So, I’ll give you the whole ten cent tour later, but I figure right now you just want somewhere you can take a shower and relax for a little while.”

Jared gives him a grateful nod and picks a bag out of the pile, throwing the strap over his shoulder as he follows Jensen to the stairs and across the mezzanine level until they reached the hallway with the bedrooms.

That’s where Jensen stops, suddenly unsure about what he’s doing, where he’s going and something in the back of his mind is making his skin itch.

“Jensen?” Jared says from behind him, making Jensen turn and face him. Whatever Jared finds in Jensen’s expression is clearly freaking him out. He drops his bag to the floor, reaching forward to cup the side of Jensen’s face with a large hand and Jensen has to swallow a laugh at the absurdity of the gesture.

Jared’s here because he needs to feel safe; Jensen should be the one taking care of him, not the other way around and he reaches up to grab hold of Jared’s wrist.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Jared says, forceful but gentle at the same time.

“I don’t know which room to put you in.”

Jared just looks at him, a slight crease between his eyebrows, like he’s trying to figure out the riddle in what Jensen just said. 

After a few seconds he nods, scraping his teeth over his lower lip. “Okay, which room do you want to put me in?”

It’s such an easy question and Jensen finds that the answer is just as easy, sitting there behind his teeth just waiting on Jensen finding enough courage to force them out of his mouth. And with a deep breath, he finds it.

“My room.”

Jared’s eyes widen, but it doesn’t look like shock; more like he’d known exactly what Jensen had wanted to say, but didn’t expect him to actually come out and say it. Jensen takes a moment to savor the fact that he’s managed to surprise Jared a little before he steps closer to him.

“But, see, here’s the thing, Jared. If I allow you to move into my bedroom, if I actually allow myself to give in to that temptation…I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to let you move out again.”

Jared’s eyes are shining, brimming with something Jensen can’t name, but as long as it’s not fear or uncertainty, Jensen’s okay with that.

“It’s too fast,” he whispers, his eyes on Jensen’s lips and Jensen allows himself to nod.

“Way, way too fast. I made fun of Danneel for moving Gen into her place so soon after they started dating. If we do this now, we’ll make them look like The Fifty Year Engagement.”

Jared shakes his head as he brings his other hand up to cup the other side of Jensen’s face. “I don’t care.” 

It’s a complete contradiction to what they’ve been saying all day, hell to what Jensen told Chad, but Jensen finds that he really doesn’t care either and he surges forward, pressing his lips to Jared’s in a bruising, brutal kiss.

Things escalate quickly, emotions and tension running high and Jensen pulls Jared along the hallway, awkwardly walking backwards until his back hits the door at the far end and he has to take his hands out from underneath Jared’s shirt so that he can fumble for the doorknob.

They spill into the room in an awkward tangle, hands and lips trying to be everywhere at once and Jensen doesn’t remember ever being this turned on in his life.

But this isn’t like all of those meaningless hookups he’s had over the years, and his last serious relationship was when he was in college, before he got too busy trying to run a successful porn company.

And maybe that was his problem. Jensen has never wanted to spare the time to date around or spend time with a guy, but maybe that’s because he’s never found the right guy. For Jared, he can see himself slowing down; he _wants_ to slow down, to give Jared as much of his time as he possibly can, while still allowing them both to do their jobs.

It’s amazing how easy that feels and he suddenly understands Chad and Danneel’s want to settle down a whole lot more.

Jared reaches behind him to close the bedroom door and Jensen starts leading them towards the huge mahogany sleigh bed in the middle of the room, but Jared pulls away from him before they’ve taken more than a few steps.

He stares at Jared, a little confused, because, even though it’s been a while, he’s pretty sure there isn’t supposed to be this much space between them.

“Something wrong?” he asks, barely noticing how breathless his voice is.

“What do you want?”

It’s a loaded question and Jensen takes his time coming up with an answer, because he doesn’t want to come off like some lovesick teenager – even though that’s exactly how he feels – but he doesn’t want to blow Jared off either, doesn’t want to pretend it’s less than what it is.

“Jared, you’re so-”

Jared cuts him off, takes another step away while he drags his fingers through his hair. “No, I don’t mean our relationship.” He winces. “Maybe I kind of do, because this is probably gonna affect our relationship outside the bedroom as much as in it.”

And now Jensen is completely lost. “Jared, I don’t understand. What are you asking me?”

Jared gazes around the room and obviously finds whatever he’s looking for, because he sweeps past Jensen, over to the side of the bed to pick up the DVD case that’s sitting on one of the nightstands. “Are you looking for him?”

The DVD is one of Jared’s, a pirate themed shoot he did a year or two ago that Jensen dug out of his collection the night Danneel informed him of Jared’s signing. It’s not anything too hardcore, but Jared’s toppy, dominating character comes through loud and clear as his costar lies back and takes whatever Jared – or rather, PJ – gives to him.

“Are you looking for PJ? Are you expecting me to be like this-” he waves the DVD in Jensen’s face “-when I get you on that bed? Is that what you want?”

Jensen takes a moment to think about what he really wants to do to Jared, his old fantasies, created two years ago in the middle of an awards ceremony, coming easily to the front of his mind.

He wants to spread Jared out underneath him, kiss every inch of that glorious body, open Jared up with his tongue before he works his fingers inside, hold on to Jared’s perfect hazel eyes as he pushes into him, how he wants to be the one to give Jared so much pleasure that he can’t think straight.

“No,” Jensen answers honestly, “I don’t want PJ. I want _Jared_. I want whatever Jared wants, and if Jared wants that-” he points to the DVD “-if Jared wants to be like that, then okay, I’m not exactly going to turn him down.”

Jared’s eyes grow soft and he looks back down at his face on the cover of the DVD. “I’m not like this. This isn’t me, PJ is just a character. I’m no more like this than Arnie is the Terminator.”

“What is it that _you_ want, Jared?” Jensen counters, closing the space between them until they’re pressed together and he can feel Jared’s chest move as he takes a deep breath.

“You,” Jared says, simple and direct and Jensen doesn’t bother wasting any more time.

He presses their lips together and it’s less desperate this time, less hurried, and it’s all the better for it. 

Jensen tangles his tongue with Jared’s even as he buries his fingers in Jared’s hair.

The other man lets out a groan, low and loud, and Jensen takes it as encouragement, walks Jared gently back towards the bed until Jared’s lying on his back with Jensen spread out above him.

Jensen rids them both of their clothes, uncaring about where they land, before he presses his lips to every single piece of skin on Jared’s body, winding him up in the best possible way.

“Christ, Jensen!” he says loudly as Jensen licks at the head of his cock, gathering up the precome on his tongue, rolling the taste around in his mouth for a few seconds, then he takes Jared into his mouth as far as he can, opening his throat and fighting against his gag reflex.

Jared lets out an incoherent gurgle, his hands finding their way to the back of Jensen’s head, not pushing, just holding on as Jensen uses every skill he has to give Jared the best blowjob of his life.

“Jensen,” Jared gasps, and suddenly his hands aren’t so much holding on as they are pushing Jensen away.

Jensen pulls off quickly, climbing Jared’s body until they’re lying face to face.

“What? What is it? Are you okay?”

Jared grins at him. “I’m fine. I just…I just don’t want to come yet. Jesus, your mouth.” He cups Jensen’s face in one hand and Jensen can’t resist leaning into the touch for a moment, staring down at Jared, taking everything in that his eyes can reach.

“Jensen?” Jared asks and Jensen blinks.

“Huh?”

“You okay?” There’s a smile creeping across Jared’s face and it’s then that Jensen realizes that he’s been staring and he blushes.

“Yeah, I’m…I’m fine. I’m great.”

Jared’s grin grows brighter and Jensen reaches across him to the nightstand, rifling around inside the drawer for a minute before he finds what he’s looking for and taking them out, nerves now bubbling along more than ever.

Leaning back, Jensen looks at the items in his hands then back up Jared, a question in his eyes that he hopes Jared understands.

He doesn’t want to be wrong about what Jared implied, doesn’t want to do anything that might jeopardize their already unstable relationship, but he finds that he can’t find the strength he needs to ask the questions aloud.

Jared saves him from himself, and Jensen startles a little as Jared shifts his hips, letting his legs fall open and looking up at Jensen with a steady gaze.

For a second Jensen is completely speechless and he gets lost in the heated, trusting gaze Jared directs up at him, then he’s jolted into action, spurred on by the knowledge that he can actually make his fantasies become a reality.

He leans down and kisses Jared once, nothing more than a hard press of his lips against Jared’s before he pulls back slightly to speak, their mouths brushing with every word.

“Roll over for me,” he says softly and he’s surprised to see a wave of nervousness pierce through the blessed-out expression in Jared’s hazel eyes. He kisses Jared again, distracting him from the words, then maneuvers him onto his front, settling between his spread legs even as Jared casts a tense look over his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” Jensen promises even as he presses kisses to Jared’s spine, working his way south until his lips brush the cleft of Jared’s ass and Jared jerks.

“It’s okay,” Jensen repeats, breath ghosting across Jared’s skin.

“I just…” Jared swallows hard, “no one’s ever…”

Jensen’s more than a little shocked by the admission. 

Sure, Jared’s never bottomed on-screen, but, if it’s his preference in his private life, then surely anyone he’s dated…

Jensen cuts off his own thought process as he looks up the length of Jared’s body to those expressive hazel eyes.

There’s a naivety there, an innocence that Jensen didn’t think was possible to find in a porn star with Jared’s experience, but it’s there nonetheless and Jensen’s suddenly left wondering about all those guys who turned Jared away because he wasn’t the top he played in the movies, wondering if anyone Jared has ever met in the last ten years has wanted him for him, or if they all just wanted PJ.

With a final heartfelt smile, Jensen tears his eyes away from Jared’s and turns his attention back to his task, the fantasy he’s about to make a reality.

There’s a different need, now, thrumming in his veins; he wants this, of course he does, but now it’s less about Jensen’s own pleasure and more about Jared’s. He needs to show Jared just how good sex can be, when they’re no script to follow, when it’s just two people who care about each other and wanting to make each other feel good.

The first swipe of his tongue across Jared’s hole has Jared jerking like he just got hit with a cattle prod.

Jensen chuckles and throws one arm over Jared’s hips. “You’re gonna wanna try and stay still for this, unless you wanna knock me out.”

Jared just groans and buries his face into a pillow as Jensen gets down to it, pulling out every trick he has so that he can make this one hell of an experience for Jared, until Jared’s nothing more than a puddle on Jensen’s gray Egyptian cotton sheets.

“Jensen,” Jared says when Jensen has his tongue in Jared’s ass, “Jensen, please, I can’t…please.” He’s writhing on the bed, his hands clenched into fists around the pillow, casting looks over his shoulder at Jensen whenever he can fight past the pleasure Jensen can see shining in his eyes. “So fucking good,” he breathes, face-planting in the pillow again.

Jensen gives another little laugh as he pulls away so that he can look at Jared. 

This is what he wanted; Jared blissed-out and relaxed, his nervousness gone as nothing but pleasure overrides his brain. He presses another kiss to the base of Jared’s spine as he moves away, reaching for the lube and condom that he’d left on the bed earlier.

Jared flinches when he hears he click of the lube cap, and Jensen kisses his back again, sucking a mark into the meat of Jared’s ass and he hopes that it disappears before Jared’s next shoot.

Jensen makes sure that his fingers are coated liberally with lube before he slides one into Jared’s hole. He’s already loose from the intense tongue fucking Jensen gave him, but Jensen has a feeling that it’s been more than a few years since Jared bottomed for anyone and so he wants to make this as pain free as possible.

One finger quickly becomes two, and then three as Jared begins to push back against the invasion, fucking himself on Jensen’s fingers as he begs for something else.

“Please, Jensen, oh, God, please. I’m ready, just…just please.”

Relenting, Jensen removes his fingers, wiping off the excess lube on the bed sheets as he reaches for the condom, using his teeth to tear the wrapper. And then he’s rolling the latex over his achingly hard cock and slicking himself up.

Pulling Jared up onto his hands and knees, Jensen pauses with the head of his dick pressed against Jared’s stretched opening, letting the moment wash over him. 

This should feel strange – it’s too soon, too rushed, Jared’s not even in the right headspace to even contemplate starting a relationship right now, especially not someone who he’s known for less than a week. And Jensen’s Five Date Rule has apparently been thrown out the window in favor of having Jared spread out and panting beneath him.

But it doesn’t feel too soon, doesn’t feel rushed, and Jared doesn’t seem to be having an adverse effect to being spread open and waiting for Jensen’s cock, and even if he is, Jensen has the rest of their lives to make it up to him.

It’s with that thought in his mind – that Jared is going to be a major part of his world for as long as he’s willing to put up with Jensen – that Jensen pushes into Jared’s body, bottoming out in one long thrust that has Jared’s back arching as he lets out a sharp groan.

Jensen stills, giving Jared a few moment to adjust to the feeling of being filled, even as his body is urging him to thrust into that delicious tight heat.

“Shit, Jared,” he gasps, leaning forward to rest his forehead to Jared’s spine. “God, you feel so fucking good.”

“Move, God, Jensen, please move, please,” Jared pants, the words sounding more like an order than a plea and Jensen finds that he likes the sound of it.

He starts of slow, pulling out almost all the way before he thrusts back in hard and fast, forcing a desperate cry from Jared’s throat as the younger man starts moving with him, his hips rocking with Jensen’s rhythm.

Jensen sits back onto his heels, pulling Jared with him until Jared’s sitting in Jensen’s lap, his back to Jensen’s chest. It changes the angle, forcing Jensen deeper inside Jared’s body, and he knows by the harsh, bitten-off cry that Jared lets out that he’s found that sweet spot and he holds Jared there with a vise-like grip on his slender hips.

Jared throws his head back against Jensen’s shoulder, angling is head until he can reach Jensen’s face with his lips. He presses kiss after kiss to whatever part of skin he can reach until Jensen gets the idea and turns his head, meeting Jared’s lips in what’s less a kiss, more a sharing of breath as their rhythm falters and picks up speed.

Jensen can feel his orgasm tingling at the base of his spine, and he takes one hand away from Jared’s hip to reach for his cock, slick with precome.

It takes just a few hard strokes before Jared’s coming, one hand wrapped around Jensen’s on his dick, the other buried in Jensen’s short hair as he screams his orgasm to the ceiling.

“Fuck, Jensen,” he gasps, losing his balance and falling back onto his hands and knees.

Jensen follows him, pumps hard and fast into Jared’s body, chasing his own release as Jared whispers dirty words of encouragement, one hand reaching back to dig fingernails into the meat of Jensen’s ass.

Three more hard, dirty thrusts and it’s all over and Jensen’s whole body tenses as he spills into the condom before he collapses onto Jared, forcing them both down onto the bed.

“Holy shit,” Jared groans as Jensen rolls off of him, moving to the side of the bed to take care of the condom and pick up the t-shirt that was discarded at some point, using it to clean them up.

“You okay?” he asks, because Jared’s not really moving, or saying anything and Jensen’s a little worried.

Still lying on his stomach, Jared turns his head on the pillow so that he can look at Jensen through half-lidded eyes. “I think you broke me.”

Jensen frowns. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

A slow, lazy smile trips across Jared’s face and Jensen can’t help but respond in kind.

“Best sex ever,” he tells Jensen in a harsh whisper, his voice ruined by sex and sleepiness.

Jensen shuffles down on the bed until he’s level with Jared and he can reach out to press a soft kiss to that smile. “Coming from a porn star, that’s the best compliment anyone can ever receive.”

Jared’s grin just gets wider.

///

Jared falls asleep. He doesn’t know how long he’s out for, but he’s brought back to reality by the fingertips that are slowly tripping up and down his spine, and it’s only then that he remembers what actually happened and he forces his eyes open.

“Hi,” he says softly and gets lost in Jensen’s smile for a few seconds.

“Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty,” Jensen says and Jared rolls over to lie on his back, one arm pillowed behind his head as he takes in the fact that Jensen apparently showered and dressed while he’d lain passed out.

“You didn’t sleep?”

Jensen wrinkles his nose. “I’m not much for sleeping during the day. It’s too bright in here.” Jared casts a glance towards the French doors on the other side of the room and the bright sunlight that’s still filtering through and considers that Jensen has a point. “I got to be really creepy though and watch you sleep before I showered so it was worth it.”

Jared blushes and tries to hide beneath the sheet Jensen apparently threw over him, but Jensen doesn’t let him, pulling it out of Jared’s grasp as he props himself up on one elbow.

“So, I have a question for you,” he says, his voice suddenly serious and Jared can feel his heart rate pick up.

“Is this about the stalker?”

“No, but we’ll definitely be coming back to that in the not so distant future,” Jensen tells him and Jared just nods, not exactly surprised by the statement. 

“Alright, so if it’s not about the letters, then what?”

Jensen takes a deep breath. “Did you expect me to reject you or kick you out or something when you told me you wanted to bottom?”

Jared looks away from those deep green eyes and stares up at the white ceiling as he answers. “It’s not like it hasn’t happened before.”

Jensen leans over him. “Are you serious?”

Jared reaches out to the nightstand and picks up the DVD that’s still sitting there and hands it to Jensen. “A lot of the guys I meet, or the ones that ask me out, anyway, they want this guy. They want PJ Tristan. They get confused when they find out that that’s not really my name, and when it comes to sex, they’re upset that I’m not that toppy bastard. It puts a lot of guys off.”

Jensen’s gaze flicks between Jared’s face and the DVD in his hands before he rolls away from Jared and then there’s the sound of something heavy hitting the metal trashcan on Jensen’s side of the bed.

“I never wanted PJ,” Jensen says when he rolls back on top of Jared. “Even before I met you at that bar, I knew that you were nothing like PJ, and I still don’t.” He sighs. “Maybe we should have held off on the sex, man, because I don’t want you to think that that’s all this is.”

“I know that,” Jared assures him quickly. “God, Jensen, I do know that, it’s just…”

“You’ve been burned in the past and you wanted to make sure with me?” Jensen finishes when Jared trails off and Jared flushes again.

“Yeah.”

Jensen rolls away to lie on his back next to him on the bed, his hands pillowed behind his head. “I can sort of understand it, I think, when I look at it from an objective point of view.”

Jared is surprised by that. “You do?”

“Yeah, I mean, day in and day out, all you do is top, right? I guess that could get boring.”

Jared snorts a laugh. “Well, yeah, that’s true, but it’s not the only reason.”

Jensen turns to him and raises an eyebrow. “It’s not?”

“When I first started doing this, all the castings I was sent to, all the parts I got offered, they were all for this douchebag, toppy types, so it wasn’t like it was a conscious thing. But then, one day, about four or five years ago, someone started talking about how great it would be if they filmed a scene that was just me getting topped by as many tops as they could get their hands on and I…” Jared trails off with a shrug.

“You freaked,” Jensen fills in.

“Yeah, I mean, they were talking about something that sounded a lot like a gang rape, you know? And that…it wasn’t just the fact that they wanted to film that with me on the bottom, it was that they wanted to film it at all. That was when I really started saying no to the hardcore stuff. I had enough pull by then that I was starting to pick my own scripts, so I had it added to my contracts that I didn’t bottom on camera.”

“Understandable,” Jensen says with an awkward nod of his head. “We’ve had a few tops who have wanted to switch, but we’ve always strived to make sure that they’re as comfortable on the set as they can be. We make sure that the other guy is clued in on what’s going on and we try to make the whole thing as non-threatening as possible. But something like what they tried to make you do? That would be a hard scene for a professional bottom to shoot, even if he trusted and vetted every single top in the scene. I can’t imagine what they could have been thinking trying make a virgin do something like that.”

“They were after the money,” Jared spits, his eyes roving around the room so that he doesn’t have to look at Jensen anymore.

“Is that the only reason?”

Jared swallows hard and ignores the need to see the look in Jensen’s eyes. “The only reason for what?” It’s a lame dodge and he knows it, but he needs a minute to get his thoughts in order before he answers.

Needs a minute to figure out if Jensen’s going to freak and kick him out now.

“The only reason you don’t bottom on camera.” The tone in Jensen’s voice tells Jared that he knows that Jared’s trying to avoid the question.

“It…felt like a good idea, to keep at least one part of myself for the guy that I’m dating.”

There’s nothing but silence for a few long and painful seconds, and Jared keeps his eyes trained stubbornly on the ceiling. He can feel Jensen looking at him, hear his breathing as he looks for something in Jared’s face and Jared hopes that, whatever it is, Jensen finds it, because he’s not sure that he’d be able to cope if Jensen pulled the plug on this now.

The sound of Jensen clearing his throat is loud in the quiet room and it makes Jared flinch.

“So, uh...have there been many guys who’ve…who you…” It’s like Jensen’s struggling to find the words he needs to ask the question but Jared gets what he’s trying to say anyway and he feels strange sense of happiness bubbling up inside of him as he finally turns his head to look at the other man in the bed next to him.

“I had a boyfriend in high school,” Jared says softly. “His name was Phillip. Apart from you, he’s the only one.”

The wide, bright smile that spreads across Jensen’s face is the most beautiful thing Jared’s ever seen.

**Chapter 6**

It’s another half an hour before Jensen convinces Jared to get his ass out of bed, telling him he’s going to make a start on dinner while Jared showers and dresses.

Jared spots the bag he left in the hallway sitting next to the door to the en suit bathroom and he smiles gratefully, even though Jensen isn’t here, and drags it into the room, digging through the mess for his toiletries while he lets the water heat up.

The charger of his phone, tucked neatly into the pouch inside his bag, catches Jared’s attention and he realizes that he hasn’t checked his calls or messages since before he went into Hilarie’s studio.

Turning off the water, Jared heads back to Jensen’s – his? – bedroom and finds his jeans lying in a heap next to the closet and digs through his pockets until he finds his cellphone.

He hasn’t missed much, a text from Chad asking how the shoot went and a few random emails, but there are three missed calls from Tom and that has him a little concerned.

Sitting on the end of the bed, Jared dials Tom’s number and startles a little when his friend answers before the first ring has finished.

_“Where the hell are you?!”_ Tom screeches down the line. _“I just got an email telling me that you’ve checked out of the hotel and that the bill has been paid in full. What the fuck, Jared?”_

Jared blinks. “Uh, sorry, I had…there was an incident. At the hotel. I had to leave.”

_“Are you kidding me? He found you? At the hotel?”_

Jared shrugs, even though he knows Tom can’t see him. “I guess he followed me home from the set a couple days ago. There was a letter waiting for me when I got back from the photo shoot today.”

Tom makes a frustrated noise, muttering curses under his breath. _“Where are you now, Jared? I’m coming to get you.”_

“No, no I’m safe, I’m okay.”

_“Bullshit, Jared. This guy is seriously taking this to the next level. You need to be somewhere safe.”_ He pauses, like he’s considering his options. _“Maybe Canada? We could be in Canada in a couple days. If we just drop of the radar, this guy will never find you.”_

“You want me to skip out on my contract?” Jared can’t believe what he’s hearing.

_“Yes, Jared, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”_

“Tom, that...that’s insane. I can’t do that to Jensen or Danneel.” Even if there was nothing going on between him and Jensen, Jared would still having trouble running out on a contract, especially one as good as the one he has with JADA.

_“I’m sorry if Jensen and Danneel aren’t my main priority right now, Jared_ ,” Tom snaps.

Jared lets out a nervous laugh. “I’m not going to welch on my contract, man. I’d never be able to find work again.”

Tom, apparently, isn’t listening anymore. _“I never should have let you take that contract. I should have done what I wanted and just bundled you in the car and just started driving, man. I blame JADA, you know? I mean, I never put anything out there on your Twitter or Facebook, so whoever this guy is, he found out through them.”_

“Tom, you can’t expect them to keep it a secret.”

_“Why the hell not? If you explain what’s going on, then they should be willing to accommodate you.”_

“You’re being ridiculous.”

_“I’m trying to keep you safe, Jared. I’m sorry you don’t seem to have the same agenda_.”

Jared sighs. “I know you are, Tom, and I appreciate that. But I work for this company, and they’re going to want to put movies out with my name in the top billing. In fact, I shot my first scene for JADA two days ago, so it’ll be happening sooner rather than later.”

_“Hence, Canada.”_

“Fuck Canada, Tom.”

Tom snorts. _“You probably already have.”_

Jared pauses, shocked by the venom in Tom’s voice. “That was low, man. I don’t know what your problem is right now, but taking it out on me is not the answer.”

Tom sighs. _“I’m sorry, Jared. I’m just worried about you, about this stalker issue, and you dismissing it like it’s nothing isn’t really helping me right now.”_

“I’m not dismissing it,” Jared assures. “Believe me, I couldn’t be more worried about this guy than I am right now. But I don’t need you turning into some overprotective idiot who wants to lock me away in an ivory tower where no one can ever get to me.”

_“Is that such a bad thing? That I want to look out for you?”_

“No, it’s not. But wanting me to lock myself away isn’t going to stop this guy. I can’t let him take over my life any more than I already have. He’s pretty much turned my world upside down these last few months, and again today. I just want a little peace for a while before I decide what to do next.”

_“‘Next’?”_ Tom asks. _“What do you mean ‘next’?_

“I’m tired of living my life worrying that this guy could up his game at any moment. I think it’s time I went to the police.”

Jared can admit right now, if only to himself, that Jensen was right. He needs to stop letting this guy dictate to him, because it’s not just Jared this guy has in his sights anymore.

Jared’s never had to worry about Tom, because the stalker apparently never saw him as a threat, so he was save. That isn’t the case with Jensen. Two days and the stalker is already seeing Jensen as competition, and wants him out of the way. That’s more frightening to Jared than anything that has happened to him over the past two years. 

His safety is one thing, he can put himself at risk as much as he likes. But it comes to the safety of people he cares about, that’s a whole different ball game and it’s time for Jared to change the rules.

But Tom, apparently, disagrees. _“Jared, I thought we talked about this? The police aren’t going to give a shit about some letters some freak keeps sending you. They’re too busy solving real crimes.”_

“They’ll care when they find out that this guy has threatened to hurt someone I care about.”

They have to care, right? The police take things like threats to endanger life very seriously.

_“Who did he threaten? Me? Because you know I don’t give a shit about some little douchebag who’s too scared to come out from behind his stationary.”_

“Not you,” Jared promises, “but it’s time I stopped playing by his rules. I have a shoot coming up this week, depending on if I find a co-star on Monday, so when that’s over, I think I’m gonna go to the cops and see what they say.”

There’s silence for a second, before Tom takes a deep breath and says, _“Whatever, man. I just wanna go on record as saying that I think this is a really bad idea. You run the risk of letting the cops into every single aspect of your life.”_

“It’s a risk I’m going to have to take.”

_“Your funeral,”_ Tom snarks. _“You sure you don’t want me to come get you? You could crash here until we find you somewhere else.”_

Jared smiles to himself as he looks around the room and out through the windows in the French doors at the house he can see just behind Jensen’s. From his angle, it almost looks like their backyards are connected.

“Thanks, man, but I think I’m good where I am.”

_“Are you seriously not going to tell me where you’re staying?”_

“For your safety and mine.” And Jensen’s, he adds silently. “I think I’ll just keep it on the down low for now.”

_“Alright, man, if you think that’s best. I’ll see you next week, okay? I wanna see some proofs of that photo shoot.”_

“No problem. See you then.”

Jared waits until Tom has hung up before he ends the call, staring down at the screen like it’s going to have all the answers to everything, before he gets up and heads back to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, Jared is washed and dressed and he’s brushed his teeth, just in case, so he decides to go looking for Jensen, figuring he can’t stay up in the bedroom for the rest of the evening.

When he opens the bedroom door, the rest of his things from the hotel room are piled up in the hallway and Jared casts a look back over his shoulder, wondering where all of his shit is going to go.

Deciding not to think about it now, Jared bypasses his stuff and continues downstairs, stopping in the living room for a second.

The whole room looks…unlived in, the cushions on the couch looking as perfect now as they were the day they were bought.

“We don’t use it.”

Jared startles at the sound of Jensen’s voice and turns to see him standing in a doorway that leads to somewhere else, wearing a pink stripped apron over his clothes and holding a pair of tongs in one hand.

Jared frowns. “You don’t use what?”

“This room.” Jensen shrugs, stepping closer as he looks around. “It’s too big and empty. And it’s kinda dark; doesn’t get a lot of sun.”

Jared glances towards the big windows that overlook the front yard and sees that it’s shaded and dull, despite the bright sunshine that still shining through the windows at the back of the house, even though it’s well into the evening by now.

“Come on,” Jensen beckons him with the tongs, “the real part of the house is through here.”

He waits until Jared catches up with him, pausing for a quick kiss, before he leads Jared down a brightly lit hallway.

“Dining room,” Jensen says, pointing at a door on the left, “doesn’t get used much except my birthday and Thanksgiving. And now your birthday as well, I’ve just decided. We have Christmas at Danni and Gen’s. They live out back.”

“I think I should be worried about how close you and your fake wife and her live-in girlfriend seem to be,” Jared can’t help but say, picturing the house he spotted through the upstairs window and wondering now if their backyards really _are_ connected.

Jensen just throws a grin over his shoulder. “Chad and Christian live across the street.”

“You’re all pathetically co-dependent. I should worry.” Jared tries to make it a joke, but it falls flat, all too aware that Jensen has his closest friends within spitting distance and Jared…Jared pretty much has Tom, who lives on the other side of the city, now and is apparently pissed at Jared because he wants to go to the cops about the stalker. Jared can’t really remember when he became this pathetic.

Jensen is ignorant to Jared’s internal thoughts, still leading them through the house, pointing at doors as he goes. Jared hears things like ‘downstairs bathroom’ and ‘my office, it’s a mess, don’t go in’ and ‘media room is down there’, but he’s not paying much attention, too focused on Jensen and the need to get to their destination, because there is definitely something cooking in the direction Jensen’s taking them and Jared’s just realizing that he hasn’t eaten since breakfast.

Another few feet and they enter what seems to be the kitchen, but the room seems to stretch the whole length of the house, far bigger than any kitchen needs to be.

“The hub of my house,” Jensen intones, spreading his arms wide as he spins in a slow circle. “When I’m not sleeping or…doing other stuff in the bedroom,” he blushes, “I spend most of my time in here. It’s my favorite room in the whole house.”

Jared can certainly see why.

The right hand side of the kitchen has been turned into a living room area, completely with numerous comfortable-looking couches and armchairs, a coffee table and a wide screen TV, Blu Ray and DVD players and more games consoles than Jared can put a name to.

The left side of the room is the actual kitchen, and it looks sleek and modern in the late afternoon sun that’s shining in through the open French doors. There’s a breakfast nook that could easily seat four people and there’s a table and chairs pushed up against the wall where the door is, like it’s hardly ever used, and Jared can imagine Jensen eating his dinner on the couch or on the coffee table while he kneels on the floor, using the breakfast nook when Danneel or Chad joins him.

“It’s amazing,” Jared tells him, honestly coloring his tone.

Jensen ducks his head shyly. “Come on, I got steak and potatoes on the grill out back.”

Jared follows Jensen through the French doors and finds himself standing on a raised deck that overlooks a well maintained yard. Oscar’s lying on a cushion in a corner by the door and when Jared turns his head, following the delicious smell of food, he spots a petit brunette, barefoot in denim shorts and a white tank top, turning the steaks with a barbeque fork.

“Oh, look, it’s that little bitch that somehow always seems to get into my yard no matter how hard I try to keep her out,” Jensen says, humor in his voice as he crosses the deck and slips his arms around her waist. “Are you stealing my food because you forgot to buy your own again?”

“No, I’m preventing it from burning,” she says and her voice sounds vaguely familiar. As soon as the words have left her mouth, Jensen picks her clean up off the ground and spins around, depositing her back on her feet in front of Jared.

“You’re not allowed near my grill,” he tells her as pokes the meat with his tongs.

“Hey!” she squawks indignantly. “I wasn’t the one who flambéed the thing!”

“No,” Jensen admits, “but you didn’t stop her either.”

She turns a sheepishly look to Jared. “Danneel’s a good cook, I swear, it’s just…she tends to get a little over excited when she tries to barbeque and one time during the summer, she sort of poured half a bottle of lighter fluid on the coals ‘cause she didn’t think it was hot enough.”

Jared barks out a laugh. “Wow, that’s…even I don’t manage to do things like that and I can’t cook worth a damn.”

Jensen lets out a snort. “It’s a good thing you’re pretty, Jay.”

“But I can wash dishes like you wouldn’t believe,” Jared counters. 

“I have a dishwasher.”

Jared shrugs. “I like washing dishes. It’s…therapeutic.” Plus, Jared needs to know that he’s making himself useful. Alright, so his cooking skills are pretty bad, but he makes due enough so that he gets by – although, living in a hotel for four weeks has spoiled him. But if Jensen is going to be doing most, if not all, of the cooking, then he needs to pull his weight and dishes are the only thing he has to offer.

Jensen just shakes his head in exasperation at Jared’s statement and goes back to cooking, leaving Jared with the brunette.

“So, since Jensen is so very rude and failed to introduce us-”

“You’re a grown woman,” Jensen interrupts, “you can introduce yourself.”

“I’m going to assume that you’re Jared?”

Jared holds out his hand. “Yeah, hi. And you are?”

“You’re biggest fan,” she beams as her hand is engulfed within Jared’s, “I’m Genevieve.”

“Oh!” Jared exclaims, suddenly remembering the phone conversation in Jensen’s office. “I take it everything worked out for your Christmas gift?”

Genevieve positively beams. “Yes! Chad and I managed to track down a first edition of ‘Little Women’. It cost me a pretty penny, but Danni’s worth it. I also got a flower named after her. I just hope they’ll be here before Christmas.”

“It’s August!” Jensen shouts and Jared can tell it’s not the first time he’s had this conversation with his wife’s girlfriend.

And isn’t that a weird sentence to think?

“I’m willing to bet that you have Jared’s Christmas present all figured out,” Genevieve says, her tongue between her teeth.

“I plead the Fifth,” Jensen gripes. “How’d you even know Jared and I aren’t anything more than friends, anyway?”

A pretty blush colors Genevieve’s face. “I stopped by a couple hours ago. Not only did I see the pile of luggage in the living room, but there were some interesting noises coming from your bedroom.”

Jensen doesn’t really seem upset at the fact that Genevieve has been letting herself into his house without his permission and Jared’s starting to really understand the close relationship these five people have with each other and he wonders if he could fit in without making anyone else feel awkward. 

“I take it there was something you wanted to talk to me about?” Jensen prods. “And if the words ‘Danneel’ and ‘Christmas’ come out of your mouth, I swear to God, Gen.”

All the humor and amusement fades from Genevieve’s face and she looks suddenly serious, her attention completely on Jensen now. “Yeah, I got a call from Clif a couple hours ago. He’s one of the guys who works security at the front gate,” she adds for Jared’s benefit. “Apparently there was a guy in a car at the front gate, demanding to be let in. He said he had a meeting with ‘the woman in the back house’, but he couldn’t give Clif any names, so Clif called me, thinking the guy was talking about me or Danni as we’re the only ones in the back house. When I told him I wasn’t expecting anyone, he said the guy got pretty riled up and Clif had to threaten to call the police before he’d leave. Clif took down the make and model of the car, but there wasn’t a license plate.”

The whole world is spinning and Jared can feel bile rising at the back of his throat and he can’t breathe and he thinks he’s going to pass out and…

“Whoa!” 

And suddenly, Jensen’s there, his hands on Jared’s arms as he guides him to one of the chairs on the patio. Jared hears Jensen asking for some water and he really hopes Jensen isn’t talking to him, because he’s not sure his legs are working right now.

“Jensen,” he gasps, breathless, his hands shaking as he reaches out for the man kneeling on the floor in front of him. “He’s here. He…he found me. This is…I can’t believe this. I can’t believe he found me.”

“We don’t know that,” Jensen argues. He presses a glass into Jared’s hands and Jared drinks the water in huge gulps, choking on the final swallow.

“Jensen, he was here! He knows I’m here!”

“No, he could have been here for me. That note said he was going to prove to you that I was nothing special, he could have been here to do whatever he meant by that.”

Jared pauses for a moment to take that in, to swim in the knowledge it might just have been a coincidence that the stalker was trying to get into Jensen’s house when Jared was already here, that Jared wasn’t his target at all, not this time.

But that little reprieve doesn’t last long as it’s soon swallowed by the overwhelming fear of someone trying to get at Jensen.

Jared surges to his feet. “We have to get out of here, Jensen; get you out of here.”

“No, Jared, you saw it for yourself, Clif, or Zack or Aaron or any of the other guards that work this rotation, none of them are going to let this guy past the gate. He’s not going to get to me or you.”

“There’s clearly something going on here that I’m just not getting,” Genevieve says quietly, somewhere on the periphery of Jared’s awareness, and Jensen spares her a sympathetic look, but Jared doesn’t have the mental capacity to think about anyone but Jensen right now.

“What if he tries when you’re not at home? What if he tries to get to you at your office?”

Jensen shrugs. “He’ll have to get through Chad first, and I’m pretty sure he’ll put up a fight, or at least scream so loud while he’s being dismembered that it’ll give me enough time to jump out the window.” Jensen cocks his head in consideration. “I think I can survive a seven story fall in the right conditions.”

Jared knows that Jensen’s trying to lighten to mood, to show Jared that he’s okay despite the shit he’s found himself neck deep in thanks to Jared, but Jared’s really not in the mood for joking around, not when Jensen’s life – and possibly the lives of everyone in the way – is in the balance.

Jensen must see something in his face because his grin falls away and he suddenly looks serious. “We’ll beef up security. No gets into the building without an appointment or the authority from someone inside.” Jensen reaches forward and takes one of Jared’s hands in both of his. “I swear to you, Jared; this guy is not getting near either one of us, do you hear me? Neither of us.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt because of me,” Jared whispers, his voice cracking on the last word.

“I won’t,” Jensen assures. “And anyway, even if something does happen to me, it won’t be your fault. It’s not your fault this guy is obsessed with you.”

“How do you know that? I don’t even know where he came from or why or how he’s infatuated enough with me that he’d follow me across the fucking country.”

Jensen reaches out and palms his cheek. “You’re just that damn pretty.” He kisses Jared, soft and sweet, and then he pushes himself to his feet, turning his attention back to Genevieve. “Is your girl home yet?”

She looks at her watch. “She should be getting in any minute, why?”

“Can you go tell her y’all are having dinner here tonight? Chad and Christian, too. There’s some things we need to talk about.”

Genevieve looks down at Jared, sympathy and confusion marring her pretty face. “Yeah, I’m thinking there is.” She turns on her heel to head back through the garden, the way she apparently came, and Oscar raises his head to watch her go.

“Hey, Gen?” Jensen calls before she’s more than halfway and she turns back. Jensen’s holding up one of the steaks that had been on the grill, looking black and shriveled. “Bring some more steaks for dinner.”

She salutes at him. “Will do.”

Jensen just smirks and throws the burnt food at Oscar.

///

Jensen stands at the door of the kitchen and watches Jared on the couch with Genevieve and Danneel and can’t help but feel upset over the fact that this is how the girls are being introduced to the man that Jensen wants to spend the rest of his life with.

It seems desperately unfair.

As Jensen had predicted, Chad, Christian, Danneel and Genevieve had all reacted with shock and sympathy over Jared’s situation, Danneel falling instantly into a motherly role as she lavished affection on Jared, comforting him as he spilled the whole sordid story over a pile of dirty plates.

Jared had been concerned about how they’d react, worried they would blame him and demand that Jensen cut him loose for Jensen’s own safety, and despite Jensen’s reassurances to the contrary, Jared had kept himself in this mindset right up until Danneel had crawled onto the couch next to him and pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

She hasn’t left his side since, and Jensen’s glad. Jared needs some feminine influences in his life, the comfort support that only a woman can provide and he’s contemplating whether or not he should go behind Jared’s back and fly Jared’s parents in from Texas when Chad catches his eye and gets up from the coffee table he’s sitting on next to Christian and sidles over to Jensen’s side.

They’re quiet for a few minutes, watching as Jared, Danneel, Genevieve and Christian continue to talk softly on the couch and Jensen is just about to ask Chad what they’d been discussing when Chad bumps Jensen’s shoulder with his own and beckons him with a jerk of his head, leading Jensen down the hallway to his office.

“What are we going to do about this?” Chad asks as soon as Jensen closes the door behind them.

Jensen takes a moment to force his smile away. ‘What are _we_ going to do about this?’ Chad had asked, not _you_ or _Jared_ , but _we_. It warms Jensen’s heart that Chad’s already including Jared in their family.

Still, he schools his features, pasting a sober expression on his face as he leans against the edge of his cluttered desk while Chad sits in a chair. “What do you mean?”

“Jensen, he can’t go on living like this. The guy is a wreck, he’s jumping at shadows.”

Jensen nods. “I know.” He lets out a harsh laugh. “Believe me, I’ve seen Jared freak out twice today and that’s twice more than I ever wanted to, I know he needs to do something about this. But even though he agreed with Gen when she said about filing a police report or talking to a lawyer, he was dead-set against the idea when we got that letter in that hotel room. I don’t know what changed his mind between now and then, but I don’t want to push him into anything too fast.”

“I think the fact that this freak of nature actually tried to get to you personally changed his mind, Jensen,” Chad points out. “For two years this guy has kept his distance, has done nothing more than send a few letters and watch Jared through a pair of binoculars from across the street or whatever. But now he’s actually trying to attack people in Jared’s life. That has to be a bit of a wakeup call for the guy.”

Jensen nods, completely seeing and understanding Chad’s point, but…

This has to be Jared’s decision, and right now, Jared isn’t in any sort of frame of mind to sit in a police interview room for probably hours on end going over everything again and again and again.

He needs time to adjust, to adjust to Jensen, to living with Jensen. Time to adjust to knowing that this psycho is upping his game and that something will have to be done at some point.

“It has to be Jared’s decision,” he repeats, “when he’s ready to make it. Am I happy about that? No, I’m really fucking not. But I can’t make him do something he’s not ready to do.”

“Jensen, this guy followed Jared all the way from New York. He’s following him around the city right now and spying on him! He threatened you, Jensen! Even if Jared doesn’t want to file a police report, there’s got to be enough in that letter for you to do it yourself.”

Jensen shakes his head. “I’m not going behind his back, Chad. I wouldn’t do that to him.”

“This is some fucked up shit,” Chad groans, rubbing at his temples.

“Tell me about it,” Jensen agrees. “He’s terrified. He can’t understand why someone would do this to him.” Chad glances at Jensen from underneath his lashes as he chewed on his thumbnail and Jensen knows that there’s something the other man doesn’t want to say. He rolls his eyes. “Just spit it out, Chad.”

Chad at least has the grace to blush. “It’s just…are we sure that the person sending these letters is just some random guy? A rabid fan or whatever?”

Jensen blinks. “Are you saying it might be someone he knows?”

Chad shrugs, looking more concerned that Jensen’s ever seen him. “It happens a lot, Jensen. Those stories you read in the paper or see on the news, about people being harassed; a lot of the time it’s by someone they know, someone they trusted.”

Jensen lets out something that sounds suspiciously like a sob. “I don’t even think he’s thought about that. And I for damn sure will not be suggesting it to him. Christ, what a mess.”

Chad nods. “I can’t believe Jared’s been dealing with this for two years. How the hell is his still functioning?”

Jensen sighs. “I think he was okay when he thought it was just confined to New York, you know? It was just a few letters; he could deal with that if he thought it just came about because they both just happened to be in the same city. I think the fact that this… _person_ has followed him across the country has made the threat more real.”

Chad snorts. “Not to mention the _actual_ threat to you.”

Jensen dismisses that with a wave of his hand. “I’m not worried about that.”

“I sure as hell am!”

“My priority right now is Jared, making sure he’s okay. He should be safer here than in some hotel, or even some apartment building somewhere, but maybe we should think about increasing security on set. Jared mentioned that he’d received a few letters when he was onset before – in his trailer, that sort of thing. So maybe, with better security, this guy will think twice.”

Chad nods in agreement. “We might even want to consider upping security around the office, too. I mean, I found Jared wandering around the lobby because he didn’t know where to go. Henri and Riley got into the parking garage unchallenged. That has to change.”

Jensen looks up at him sharply. “You think he’ll try to get into the office?”

“I think we have to look at this from Jared’s perspective and think about where he’s going to be spending most of his time.”

“Never more than six feet away from me, if I have my way,” Jensen says, half to himself as he tries to figure out the logistics of getting more security set up onsite and what it’s going to mean for the rest of the cast and crew.

“Jesus, you’re in love with him,” Chad says suddenly and Jensen lurches in shock as the words hit him solidly in the gut.

“What? What the hell are you talking about?”

Chad’s smiling. “You are, aren’t you? I mean, I knew you’d probably get there eventually, but seriously, Jensen. It’s been less than a week and you’re completely head over heels in love with the boy.”

Jensen shrugs, unable to deny it because Chad would just see right through him anyway. “Yeah, well, people who meet under extreme circumstances are more likely to fall in love and develop deep, emotional connections.” It doesn’t make a lick of sense to Jensen, and he doesn’t even remember where he heard it, but maybe it’ll work on Chad.

“Bullshit,” Chad spits, so that would be a solid ‘no’ on that maybe, then. “You’ve been falling for this boy for two years. Today, him needing you to look after him, that was just the push you needed to take you over the edge.”

Jensen drops his head into his hands. “I’m so gone for him. Like, I am so far over the edge, I can’t even see the edge.” He smirks. “I think I’ve been falling since that bar. I just thought that I’d built him up in my head so much that the real thing couldn’t possibly be as amazing as I remembered him. And then he walked into my office, and he was…beautiful and that was it. I should have listened to Gen and proposed right then.”

“Then the stalker might have actually killed you.”

Jensen glowers at him. “You’re a fucking dick sometimes, you know that, Murray?”

Chad stands up and heads to the door. “That’s Murray-Kane to you, jackass.” He stands with one hand on the doorknob and the other on the jamb. “I’m gonna start looking into some security companies, see what’s out there and who comes out on top. There’s got to be like a record or table or something. ‘Most people saved in a single shoot out’. That kinda thing.”

Jensen picks a stapler up off the desk and throws it towards his best friend, the plastic cracking as it hits the wall where Chad’s head had been just a split-second before. He can hear Chad’s manic laughter echoing down the hallway.

Jensen stays in the office for a while longer, staring at the mess that covers every available surface and tries to wrap his mind around the fact that he’s in love with a man he’s known less than a week.

The truth of it resonates deep inside him, but at the same time, there’s a voice at the back of his mind – that sounds suspiciously like his mother – telling him that it’s too soon, too fast, that he should slow down and think about what he’s getting into before he dives head first into shopping for rings.

But he can’t; he’s already there. Jared is already a huge part of his life, so deep that trying to extract him would only be painful for both of them.

Jensen runs his fingers through his hair as he thinks about the implications of falling in love with Jared at this point in the man’s life. Jared is not in a good place right now. He’s hurt and confused and he doesn’t need Jensen rushing in and professing his undying love. Jared would likely freak and run straight out the back door. Okay, so at this point he’d probably run straight to Chad or Genevieve, so at least Jensen would know he hadn’t gone far, but that still doesn’t mean that Jensen should go ahead and do it.

No, what Jared needs right now is security, stability and someone he can lean on and trust to be there in case things go bad or anything goes wrong. 

And Jensen can be that; more to the point, Jensen wants to be that for Jared. He wants to be the one who Jared turns to for advice and support, the one he comes to of comfort and affection.

It’s cheesy and cliché and Danneel will make fun of Jensen for the rest of their lives if she ever finds out, but Jensen just can’t find it within himself to care.

He leaves the office after another few minutes, the need to make sure Jared’s okay after his confession too great to ignore and when he gets back to the living room, Jared’s alone, curled up on the couch like a lost little boy, even though he’s smiling softly.

“Thanks for saying ‘goodbye’, asshats,” Jensen grumbles to his absent friends as he urges Jared to move over on the couch, repositioning them both until Jared’s back is resting against his chest and their stretched out along the length of the comfy cushions.

“So, how you feeling?” Jensen asks after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

Jared’s body shakes with his soft chuckles. “Tired, mostly. It’s exhausting, all that confessing.”

Jensen shifts slightly, trying to get more comfortable with Jared’s weight resting on him. “Listen, Jared, Chad and I were talking-”

“I thought I felt my ears burning when the two of you disappeared.”

Jensen presses a kiss to Jared’s temple. “It wasn’t even like that and you know it.” Jared tightens his arms around Jensen, letting Jensen know he understands. “We’re just concerned about you. We think you need all the support you can get.”

Jared twists around until he can press a kiss to Jensen’s jaw. “I have you guys. And I have Tom. That’s all I need.”

“Yeah, but apart from Tom, we’ve only known you for a few days. Don’t you want someone who’s known you a little longer? A little better?”

Jared makes a noise in the back of his throat. “Like who?”

Jensen frowns at that, because he would have thought the answer to that question was fairly obvious. “Well, what about your parents? Your siblings?”

Jared’s whole body stiffens and he jerks away from Jensen, leaning forward on the couch until he gets up completely, pacing the space between the couch and the coffee table as he drags his hand through his hair.

“Jared?” Jensen gets up, too, growing concerned. “What’s the matter?”

Jared lets out a harsh sounding laugh. “Sorry, it’s just, I kinda thought I was done with confessing for the day.”

On his next pass, Jensen grabs Jared’s hand and pulls him back down onto the couch. “Okay, just say it. Whatever it is, you know I can deal with it. After today, you should know I can deal with pretty much anything.”

Jared nods, but he doesn’t say anything, and Jensen starts imaging all sorts of scenarios. Jared’s parents dying in some horrible accident, leaving Jared alone, a scared little boy. Maybe that’s why Jared got into porn, he aged out of foster care and needed a way to make some quick cash for food and shelter and clothing.

“I haven’t seen my parents since I was seventeen,” Jared says quickly, like he’s ripping off a Band-Aid.

Jensen blinks. “What? Why not? Why didn’t you say something before now?”

“We were kinda dealing with other things, Jensen,” Jared shrugs. “Besides, it’s not really something that rolls off the tongue, you know? My favorite book is The Great Gatsby, my father tried to kill me the last time I saw him, my favorite band is Pearl Jam.”

Jensen blinks at the abruptness of the statement, blindsided by this single fact more than he has been by anything that’s happened since he met Jared at that photography studio.

“My God,” he breathes and feels woefully inadequate to deal with something like this. “What happened, Jared?”

Jared takes a deep breath, like he’s fortifying himself before he starts. “I’ve known I was gay since I was real little, but it wasn’t until I was twelve or so that I realized what it meant. By the time I was thirteen, I’d come to realize that my father was never, ever going to accept me if he ever found out. And my mom wasn’t going to take my side. He was always spouting all this hateful shit about how gays were taking over the world and how they should be shot on sight. As a little kid, it was hard to take.”

Jensen can’t even imagine what it must have been like for Jared, knowing that his father hated him, growing up like that, living in that kind of fear. It’s hard to believe that Jared is as well-adjusted as he is. “I can’t imagine what that was like, Jared. God, I’m so sorry.”

Jared nods, like he was expecting the words. “I started to realize that I would need to get away before he found out. So I took on as many part time jobs as I could. Paper routes before school, dog walking after, bagging groceries at the local market at the weekends. Washing cars. Anything I could get my hands on. Every penny I earned went into a little box that I kept in my closet along with a bag that I always kept packed with a few changes of clothes. I never spent a dime.”

Jensen feels tears prickle at the corners of his eyes. Living like that must have been torture. Shit, Jensen can’t even imagine what that would be like as a fully grown man; for a teenage boy having to go through that as well as all the other shit teenagers go through, it’s a wonder Jared’s still standing.

Jared sniffs and goes on before Jensen can find anything to say.

“I worked my ass off in school, too,” he says with a thick voice and Jensen knows he’s holding back tears he’s probably never let out. “I was a straight ‘A’ student and I applied for as many different scholarships in as many different colleges as I could. I had it all planned out.”

“Planned?” Jensen repeats. “What plan?”

“I told my parents that I’d gotten a full ride to Penn State University, but really, I’d accepted an even better scholarship to Washington State. It was the furthest away from Texas as I could reasonably get without leaving the country. It was brilliant, my parents never went with my older brother when he left for college, they just waved him off at the drop off point at the airport, so why should I be any different?”

“The way you’re talking, I’m guessing things didn’t go to plan?”

Jared shakes his head and get back to his feet to pace some more. 

Jensen’s heart aches for him, but there’s nothing he can do for Jared right now. He needs to get this out, and then Jensen can console him until they both feel better. He just wishes watching Jared hurt wasn’t so painful.

“About two weeks before my graduation, the shit hit the fan,” Jared says, looking anywhere but at Jensen. “I told you earlier, I had that boyfriend, Phillip, you remember?”

Jensen nods, already knowing where this is going before Jared even gets there and he wants desperately to tell Jared that it’s enough, that he’s heard all he needs to hear; but Jared’s on a roll now, and Jensen doesn’t think there’s anything that would be able to slow him down.

“When I got home from school one, my dad was waiting for me. He was furious; I’d never seen him so angry. Phillip and I were always careful about where we hung out, which usually meant we just hung out at his house, ‘cause his parents were okay with it. But I guess we weren’t careful enough. Someone saw us together and told my dad.”

Jared trails off, his eyes losing their focus and Jensen gets to his feet, slowly, so as not to startle Jared who seems lost in his own world now, lost in the memories Jensen has inadvertently provoked.

“Hey, it’s alright, you don’t have to go on.”

Jared blinks and raises shiny hazel eyes to Jensen. “Not much left.”

Jensen gives him a tight smile and nods his head, understanding that Jared’s asking for permission to finish his story, and Jensen can’t do anything but agree. If Jared can find the strength to tell his story – hell, tell any of the stories he’s confessed over the last few hours – Jensen can sure as hell find the strength to listen and hold him together when he needs to fall apart.

“He beat me so bad,” he says in a harsh whisper, his eyes locked on Jensen’s. “I thought he was never going to stop. But then…but then he said,” Jared sniffs again, “he said that he could never have a gay son. In fact, he’d rather have a dead son than a gay son.”

Jensen gasps, his hands flying to Jared, gripping his biceps like he needs to make sure that Jared’s still standing in front of him, that his father didn’t succeed.

“He kept a handgun in his nightstand. I think he went to get it, but I didn’t hang around long enough to find out. I ran to my bedroom, locked the door and then tipped the dresser in front of it, just to give me another couple of seconds. Then, I went to the closet, grabbed that bag and all the cash I saved and jumped out the window. By the time he got through the door, I was in my car and taking off down the street.”

Jensen tightens his grip, knowing that he’s probably hurting Jared but unable to stop himself. “God, Jared, I am so, _so_ sorry.” It doesn’t sound like nearly enough, but he can’t think of anything else to say.

Jared just wipes at his eyes. “I was about four towns over before it occurred to me that my dad might have reported me missing, or reported the car stolen or something, so I ditched it down some alley behind a McDonald’s and hitched a ride to the bus station. I bought a ticket to Boston and never looked back. I haven’t seen any of my family since.”

Now that he’s finished, Jared just sort of…deflates, like he’s wasted all his energy talking about and thinking about all these horrific things that have happened in his life and Jensen just jumps forward, wrapping him up in a hug so tight he’d worry about breathing if he had any room left in his head to worry about anything besides Jared.

“Shit, Jared, I can’t believe you lived through that.”

Jared buries his head in Jensen’s neck. “It was okay,” he mumbles, his tone betraying that it wasn’t okay at all. “When I got to Boston, I met Tom, and he gave me a place to stay, so I moved in with him and his roommates. A few months later, Milo, one of the other guys, asked me if I’d be okay jerking him off in front of a camera; I needed the cash, so I said ‘yes’. And my porn career was born.”

Jensen pulls back and kisses Jared hard and fast, his hands framing Jared’s face as he looks into his eyes. “You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met.”

Jared rolls his eyes. “Yeah, so amazing my parents couldn’t even accept me and strangers think it’s okay to torment me through anonymous letters. I can really see why you fell for me.”

Jensen smiles up at him. “I fell for you because of the kind of person you are, and this?” He waves a hand between them, indicating what Jared’s just told them all. “This right here just proves to me that I was right, because not everyone would have been strong enough to survive what you’ve gone through. And you’ve not only survived, Jared, you’ve thrived. You’ve grown into this amazing man because of what your parents did to you, and you should be proud of that, proud that they couldn’t wear you down. And this stalker shit? That’s just one more thing that’s going to make you grown even more as a person, and I’m gonna be right here with you. All the way.”

Jared blushes, but there’s a smile on his face now, and that’s all Jensen wants from his stupid little impassioned speech.

“You’re so full of shit, Jensen.”

Jensen shrugs. “Sometimes, maybe, but that doesn’t mean that wasn’t the truth.” Jared turns even redder and turns away, and Jensen ducks his head to catch his eyes again. “And you have a family, you know?”

Jared frowns and shakes his head. “What are you talking about?”

Jensen waves his hands again. “You met them. The crazy red head and her calmer better half and the weird guy and his way-too-good-for-him husband. They’re your family, Jared, because they’re my family. And when my actual family finally meet you, they’ll probably adopt you on the spot and kick me out, because I’m definitely the Chad in this relationship.” He can feel the sappy smile on his face as he looks up at the taller man, but he just can’t see to make it go away. “I definitely don’t deserve someone as incredible as you, Jared.”

Jared’s eyes fill with tears again and Jensen decides not to make a big deal out of what he’s just said, and instead kissing Jared again, putting everything he’s feeling into the press of his lips and the sweep of his tongue before he pulls back and wipes away a stray tear that has escaped to run down Jared’s cheek.

“Now, come on; it’s been a hell of a long day. I think we’re both in desperate need of a shower and some sleep.”

He takes hold of Jared’s hand and starts to lead him from the room, poor neglected Oscar following on their heels.

With a deep sigh, Jared drapes himself across Jensen’s back and presses a kiss to the hinge of his jaw.

“Mmm, is this a shared shower?”

Jensen lets out a laugh so loud, Oscar runs back to his basket.

**Chapter 7**

Monday afternoon finds Jensen sitting on one of the couches in his office, Jared next to him, while Misha Collins and his wife, Vicki – the casting agents for JADA – sit across from them, a huge portfolio spread over their laps.

Jared is staring at them like they’ve just landed on the last shuttle, and Jensen can’t help his amusement. While they’re both incredibly good at their jobs, Misha is a lot to handle on a good day, and even with Vicki doing her best to keep her husband in check, today, Jared’s just not up to fending off his inappropriate jokes.

Telling Danneel, Genevieve, Chad and Christian about his stalker and then confessing everything about his parents to Jensen had taken its toll on Jared. He’d slept for most of the weekend, spread out across Jensen’s California King-sized bed when Jensen had gotten up to do some work, or curled into Jensen’s side when Jensen had climbed back just to be near him.

He doesn’t want to think about the fact that this was probably the first time Jared’s felt able to relax in almost two years, and he wonders if Jared ever told anyone about his parents. It didn’t seem like a story that Jared had told many times, but it’s helped Jensen understand Jared a little better, helped him to see that they need to build Jared’s confidence back up.

Jensen also thinks that Jared could do with some maternal love and he’s contemplating the logistics of getting his own parents to LA, just to prove to Jared that not all parents are like his own.

Right now, though, Jensen just wants to wrap Jared up in a fluffy blanket and take him home, but he can’t, because Jared insisted that they needed to start getting back to normal, including the meeting about casting the film Jared wants to shoot this week.

“So,” Misha says loudly, clapping his hands and pulling Jensen out of his thoughts, “Vicki and I were thinking that David B would be perfect for this role. He’s got that amazing physique that’s just built to rival PJ here, am I right? Can you just imagine the two of them in that car together?”

Jensen wrinkles his nose in distaste and looks at Jared, seeing a similar expression on his face.

“Um, I don’t think Dave is the way we want to go with this shoot.”

Misha cocks his head to the side. “No?”

Jensen clears his throat. “Um, Misha, you do realize that Jared will be playing the mechanic in this shoot, don’t you?”

There’s a noticeable pause as Misha and Vicki exchange a startled look, before Vicki scribbles something in her ever-present notebook and Misha starts sifting through the pages of the portfolio.

“I did not realize that, no,” Misha confirms without meeting either of their gazes. “It certainly changes the scope of our research.”

Jensen is a little upset by Misha’s confession. It’s the casting director’s job to know which roles he’s casting for, and there is definitely a missing link in JADA’s chain of communication if Misha had thought Jared had been cast in the role of the bottom.

“From now on, until I say otherwise, just assume that Jared is the top in any shoot with his name attached and cast the other role accordingly. Are we clear?”

“Crystal,” Vicki says with an embarrassed smile, writing something else in her notebook before she flips to another page. “And on that note, what about Jake Able? I’m sure he would be eager to work on something like this.”

Jensen knows that Jared has worked with Jake before – although not in the last few years – but under what conditions he doesn’t know. Given the stiffness of Jared’s shoulders and his subtle shift closer to Jensen on the couch as soon as Jake’s name was mentioned, Jensen has to guess that it wasn’t an easy shoot for Jared.

Considering Jake’s small stature, his slim build and innocent-looking features, it’s not hard for Jensen to imagine him underneath Jared’s imposing muscles in a scene he knows Jared would be extremely uncomfortable with.

“Um…I think Jake is…unavailable for the dates we want to shoot,” Jensen says tactfully. “Family wedding or something. I’m sure I mentioned it.”

Vicki glances at Misha, an annoyed look on her face, like this isn’t the first time her husband has forgotten to pass on a message. Misha just shrugs.

An idea occurs to Jensen and he jumps in before Misha can suggest someone else that might send Jared into a tailspin.

“What about Riley Smith?”

The meeting with Riley and Henri the week before had gone well, and Jensen had managed to hammer out a deal that both the actor and his agent were pleased with in just a few short hours. And although Jensen isn’t really sure why Riley felt the need to get himself an agent, he’s not going to deny the fact that having Riley signed to JADA is just another boost for the Californian company. 

Riley had taken a few years off from the world of porn, working on his music and dealing with some personal business. He’d had a relationship with a fellow porn star, Jonah Dolan – who was now working down in Mexico – that had gone south in a big way, including a spectacular bust-up in the middle of one of Riley’s scenes that had left his co-star – Aldis Hodge – with a black eye and a split lip, courtesy of Jonah’s fists.

But now he’s back, Jensen knows that this would be a role he would be very interested in, more importantly, Riley is the perfect co-star for Jared. A consummate professional, Riley takes care of the people he’s working with, making sure they’re comfortable and happy with the set up, and Jared needs someone like that for the moment, someone he can rely on without having to second guess every motivation.

Plus, the fact that Jensen knows Riley personally will give him a big checkmark in Jared’s pro column.

Misha flicks through the portfolio again. “I don’t think…didn’t he retire? I don’t have his information in here.”

“He took a sabbatical,” Jensen tells him, causing Misha to pause and blink his too-blue eyes in surprise. “He’s back now; I’m surprised he didn’t tell you.”

Vicki shakes her head. “We’ve heard nothing from him or any sort of management concerning his return. Are you sure?”

“I had a meeting with him last week and personally offered him a contract with our company. He’s definitely looking to ease back into the business, no pun intended.” Both Jared and Misha stifled their giggles. “I’ll have Chad send his updated information to your assistant.”

“Thank you, Jensen,” Vicki says with a grateful smile. “I’ll contact him as soon as I get back to the office and have him sign the contract, if he’s willing. When were you thinking of shooting?”

“Jim Beaver is taking the tech crew out to his place this morning so that they can get started on whatever it is they needed to do, so realistically, I’d like to start filming Wednesday or Thursday.”

Another note went into Vicki’s book. “That sounds reasonable. I’ll fax you over a copy of the contract as soon as I get it back from Mr. Smith, along with anything else he feels you might need to know.”

“Perfect.” Jensen gets to his feet as Misha and Vicki do the same, and he shakes their hands in goodbye.

Jensen isn’t surprised when Vicki reaches down to give Jared a kiss on the cheek before she follows her husband out the door, but by the look on the other man’s face, he is.

Jensen just chuckles. “I’ll be back in a second,” he tells Jared as he follows the couple out into Chad’s little domain, cringing visibly at the sound of the Beach Boys blaring through Chad’s speakers.

“Chad, when you get a minute, could you please email Vicki and Misha with Riley Smith’s details? It seems we haven’t done very well at remembering to keep their records up to date”

Chad gives him a mock salute. “Sure thing, boss.”

Jensen leaves the three of them to it, closing the doors on the obnoxious music before he retakes his seat on the couch, a lot closer to Jared this time.

“I always find myself really tired after talking with them, which is why I don’t really take much of an interest in the casting side of things,” he admits with a groan.

“Sorry,” Jared whispers. “Guess that’s mostly my fault, huh?”

Jensen turns to look at him. “Why would you say that?”

“Jensen, come on, I know you only asked for this meeting so that you could be there to approve whoever they chose as my co-star.”

Jensen winces, caught out in his well-meaning act. “Not ‘approve’ exactly,” he admits, finger quotes around the word, “I just…wanted to make sure you were comfortable with who they finally decided upon. I didn’t want you to feel like you were pushed into anything.” Jensen blanches. “Oh, God, you don’t feel like that, right? I mean, I never asked you how you felt about Riley being cast, shit. If you don’t think he’s a good fit for the part, we can find someone else. I’m sure there are other people in Misha’s little book that you’ve worked with before. Would that be better? Someone you know?”

When Jensen pauses to take a breath he realizes that Jared is laughing, collapsed back against the couch holding his stomach as mirth racks his body.

“God, you’re so adorable when you’re acting all concerned.”

“I’m not acting!” Jensen insists, annoyed that Jared thinks he might be.

“No, I know that, it’s just nice to see it so clearly.” Jared smiles at him, soft and sweet. “I like that you can personally vouch for this guy, and I’ve heard about Riley a lot, about how much of a professional he is and how sad it was that he left the scene. I’m looking forward to this shoot a lot more than I was before this meeting.”

“We can do it like this if you want, the four of us can work it out together if you think today went okay.”

“I would like your input on anyone they suggest,” Jared admits, a blush staining his cheeks.

Jensen just nods. “Whatever makes you most comfortable, Jared.” 

“I don’t feel comfortable,” Jared admits with a deep sigh and Jensen frowns.

“What do you mean?”

Jared gives him a knowing look. “This isn’t exactly how you treat every actor on your books, Jensen.”

“No, it isn’t,” Jensen confirms, “but then again, I’m not living with every actor on my books either. And not every actor on my books has a stalker that I need to worry about.”

Jared jumps to his feet as soon as the words have left Jensen’s mouth. “Just leave it, Jensen.”

Jensen shakes his head. “Sorry, Jared, but I can’t do that.”

It’s the first time they’ve brought the subject up since dinner on Friday, but Jensen knows that they need to talk about it, to decide what it is that they’re going to do. Jared can’t ignore it anymore and Jensen can’t stand to see him get so upset every time a letter arrives or he thinks the guy has found him again. 

Jared throws his hands in the air. “What are we going to do, Jensen? Huh? This guy isn’t going to stop.”

“Because you haven’t tried to stop him!” Jensen shouts, regretting the words almost instantly as Jared reels back in shock. He scrubs a hand over his face. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to yell.”

“Yelling or not, that’s still what you think, though, right?”

“Yeah, Jared, it is.” Jensen gets up off the couch and crosses to Jared, settling his hands on Jared’s jeans-clad hips. “Look, man, you’re not the first person in the world to be stalked by some psycho, and I’d bet every red cent that I have that you’re not the first porn star either. So there has to be something we can do, even if that means that we take off for Ireland or Australia, or…fucking Outer Mongolia.”

Jared pushes away from Jensen and walks towards the huge floor-ceiling-windows that take up one wall of Jensen’s office. “I can’t ask you to do that, to give everything up for me. You barely even know me, why would you want to give up your whole life for someone like me?”

Jensen bites his lips against the words that want to roll off his tongue. Now isn’t the time to tell Jared any of the stuff he’d confessed to Chad in his office over the weekend.

“It might not come to that,” Jensen says instead, leaning his ass against his desk, “there’s other stuff we can try first.”

“Such as?”

“The police for a start.”

Jared groans. “Jensen-”

Jensen cuts him off. “I don’t want to hear it, Jared. Being stalked has nothing to do with your size or shape or age. None of that shit matters. But this guy, Jared…he needs help, professional help. He’s followed you all the way across the fucking country!”

“What can they do, Jensen? Seriously, what can the police do about this guy?”

Jensen scrapes his fingers through his hair, already overly tired of this argument after less than three days. “I don’t know, Jared, I’m not a cop. That’s why I think we need to go and see them, find out if they can do anything about this guy. Fingerprints, staking out this place, I don’t know. But it has to be worth a try.”

“I just don’t want to…” Jared trails off with a shy.

“To what?” Jensen prompts, taking a step towards him. He’s still staring out the window, his back to Jensen and his arms crossed over his chest almost like he’s looking for some sort of protection or security.

Jared heaves a deep breath. “Mess things up for you, the studio” he finishes with a small voice. “A police investigation is a big thing, Jensen. It’s not just me that’ll be investigated, they’ll ask you questions, too. And Chad and Danneel, maybe even Genevieve. Everyone will know about the gay porn star and his stalker and they’ll all be talking about how I work here. You could lose a lot of money because of me.”

Jensen gapes at him. That’s what Jared thinks? That this is going to damage Jensen’s company?

“Jared, when are you going to understand that I don’t give a shit about me or my company right now?” Jared whirls to face him, shock and awe coloring his features, but Jensen just plows on. “I’m so scared right now, Jared. I’m terrified that this guy, this fucking psychopath, is going to walk up to you one and day and take you away from me. And I’m scared that I’m feeling like this, because this thing between us? It’s been going on for less than a week and I already feel like I can’t bear to lose you, so you have to fix this, okay? You have to let me help you fix this.”

Jensen doesn’t realize that Jared has moved until his hands slip around Jensen’s waist and then they’re kissing, soft and delicate and it feels so much better than anything Jensen has every felt before and he falls just a little bit more.

“I’ll do it,” Jared whispers, his lips ghosting Jensen’s with each word, “whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it.”

But Jensen shakes his head and pulls away so that he can see Jared clearly. “I don’t want you to do this for me, Jared. I want you to do this for you, because you want to be able to live your life without looking over your shoulder or moving house every six months.”

Jared rolls his lips into his mouth and takes another deep breath. “Don’t think I know how to live without fear anymore,” he says quietly.

“Maybe it’s about time you find out?”

///

They’ve been sitting on the couch for what seems like hours when the door to Jensen’s office opens and Chad just stands on the threshold with his arms folded as he glares at them.

It’s not like they’ve been doing anything; Jensen made coffee a little while ago and they’ve just been sitting, trying actively to talk about anything other than the stalker or going to the police.

Jared had pointed out that they had a shoot coming up this week and he didn’t want to do anything until that was over with, because a police investigation was surely going to disrupt a shoot, and he’d watched with baited breath as Jensen reluctantly agreed. 

It’s not that Jared doesn’t want to make this guy go away – if there’s a way to do it – it’s just, he’s pretty terrified of finding out who this guy actually is, why he’s so obsessed with a porn star from Texas.

Everyone always tells him that the reality can’t possibly be any worse than what he imagines and dreams about, but Jared’s really not sure about that. He tries to think about what kind of person it would take to follow someone they’ve never spoken to all the way across the country, but then he has to stop because he’s scaring himself.

Much like Chad is scaring him right now.

Jared casts a nervous look at Jensen and relaxes slightly when he sees the smirk on his boyfriend’s face.

“What?” Jensen asks, leaning forward to set his empty coffee cup on the end table.

“You turned off your office phone,” Chad says in a clipped tone. “You turned off your cellphone. You turned off your intercom. You’re not answering emails. If you’re going to take the rest of the day off, at least, you know, take off.”

Jensen just shrugs. “I’m not taking the day off; we were just…taking a moment to decompress. Or something.” He gets to his feet. “But, since you’re in here, bothering us, I’m assuming there’s something that needs my attention or signature or something equally important.”

Chad’s pissed-off demeanor vanishes instantly and he flashes Jensen a concerned look. “Danni’s got some guy in her office, says he was sent over by the agency?” He says it like it’s a question. “Anyway, he says he’s not leaving without a contract even though she’s told him we’re not looking for any new talent right now.”

Jensen sighs loudly and picks up his suit jacket from where he threw it on the other couch.

“This is bad?” Jared is the first to admit that he knows nothing about the ins and outs of dealing with porn stars and their contracts. As long as his is as good and iron clad as he can get it, he doesn’t really care about the other talent on the books or where they come from.

“Sending an actor to a porn studio and demanding we give them a contract is pretty much the equivalent of sending an actor to the CW and demanding they be given the lead in whatever their most popular show is,” Chad explains as Jensen straightens himself out.

“Oh,” Jared breathes, and, yeah, he can see how that would be annoying and really, really presumptuous.

“Jared, will you be okay here for a while until I sort this out?” Jensen asks as he pushes past Chad on the way out the door.

Jared waves his hand. “I’ll keep Chad company.”

Jensen just nods once and takes off, the door to Chad’s office swinging shut behind him.

Chad gives Jared another glare. “Make me another coffee if you’re gonna be bothering me for the next who knows how long.” He turns on his heel before Jared can even ask if he takes cream and sugar.

He compromises and picks up the tray Jensen has set up for guests in the corner of the room, adding creamer to the little pitcher from the mini-fridge behind Jensen’s desk. He sets the whole thing on Chad’s desk and waves a hand at him as he drags the coffee table over next to Chad’s desk and sits down.

“I have a couch,” Chad points out, amused.

Jared shakes his head. “Too far away, it’s, like, anti-social when I’m out here specifically to talk to you.”

Chad chuckles and takes a sip of his coffee. “Am I right in assuming you’re out here to get some dirt on Jensen?”

Jared can feel his cheeks pinking. “Am I that obvious?”

“Not really, but I was kind of expecting this sooner or later; Jensen’s not exactly forthcoming with the details.” Chad waves a hand when Jared opens his mouth to ask something. “No, I don’t mean…he’ll tell you anything you wanna know, he’s not trying to hide anything from you or keep secrets. He’s just…he’d rather talk about you, you know? Doesn’t really like the attention when it’s focused on him.”

Jared nods, because, yeah, he can see that. “Besides, it’s not like my drama has given him much of a chance to talk about himself, right?”

Chad’s eyes soften. “We’re all just worried about you, Jared. About what could happen.”

“I know,” Jared admits.

Instead of pressing on with that particular topic like Jared fully expects, Chad grins at him and waves his hand, raising his cup to his mouth again. “Come on then, ask. I know you’ve got something on the tip of your tongue that you’re just dying to talk about.”

Jared laughs in spite of himself. “The fucking marriage, man. That’s just weird.”

“Of course it is,” Chad eyes are shining with mirth, “it was my idea.”

Jared blinks at him. “What? That doesn’t even make sense, man.”

“I suggested that Jensen marry Danneel, he agreed, she said ‘yes’ and one year later they’re trading ‘I do’s’ with yours truly as the best man.”

“I’m assuming there’s a lot more to the story than just them agreeing to get hitched. I mean, they’re not exactly each other’s type.”

Chad chuckles and sets his cup on a random scrap of paper. “Alright, yes, there’s more to it than that.”

“So, start at the beginning. I’m thinking Jensen’s going to be a while.”

Chad clears his throat. “When we were in junior year of college, Jensen’s brother proposed to his girlfriend. It was a whole big deal, parties and photographs and announcements in the paper and shit. It was pretty epic, actually. Anyway, after a couple months, this guy arrives at Jensen’s parents’ house, says he’s with some huge legal firm.”

Jared frowns. “What’s a legal firm got to do with a wedding?”

Chad’s practically bouncing in his seat. “That’s the best part. Apparently, this legal firm represented some great old aunt of Jensen’s that was fucking loaded, and she left Jensen and his siblings these massive trust funds in her will.”

Jared’s eyes widen. “Seriously?”

Chad’s excitement dims a little. “Yeah, but there was a catch. They could only have access to the trust fund if they were married.”

“Ah,” Jared says, catching up, “the guy saw the wedding announcement.”

“Or some cousin told them, whatever, they were arrived and they learned all about how they wouldn’t get access to this cash until they were legally married under the great state of Texas.”

And the last of the pieces fall into place for Jared a feeling of deep sadness rolls over him. “But Jensen’s gay.”

“Exactly.” Chad clicks his fingers. “His parents tried to find a way around it, talked to the lawyers, got their own lawyers, but it was iron clad.”

“And then you suggested he marry Danneel.”

Chad grins, overtly pleased with himself. “It was fucking brilliant, man. The lawyers couldn’t do anything other than promise that Jensen and Danneel stay married for at least three years.” He shrugs. “That was over a decade ago, mind you. Guess they didn’t really have a reason to get divorced before now.”

“Man.” Jared’s mind is well and truly blown.

“So, a year after graduation, Jensen and Danneel get hitched, Jensen splits the cash three ways and we all go on honeymoon to Maui.”

Jared laughs, caught off guard by that last statement. “Wait, you went on their honeymoon with them?!”

“What?” Chad asks, looking honestly confused. “Wasn’t like they were gonna be locked up in their hotel room fucking like bunnies for the whole two weeks. Someone had to stop them getting bored of each other.”

Jared swallows hard, a sudden thought occurring to him. “You and Jensen never…” He lets the sentence trail off, unsure if he really even wants an answer and he’s relieved when Chad snorts in amusement.

“Me and Jensen met freshman year, we were roommates. Danneel and her roommate, Hilarie-” he raises an eyebrow and Jared rolls his eyes. Fucking incestuous group of people “-lived next door. We’ve only ever been friends.”

Jared narrows his eyes. “If you’re such good friends, how come you’re working _for_ him and not _with_ him?”

Chad grins, like he was expecting the question. “My choice, man. Technically, I’m the third, very, very silent partner in this business, but, man, what the hell do I know about running a porn studio? Or any kind of business? But running someone’s life? Now that, I can do.”

Jared nods. It makes sense in a weird way. Chad probably knows Jensen inside out by now; knows when he needs some space, not to schedule important meetings first thing in the morning or last thing at night. He knows about Jensen’s hatred for driving and can probably come up with a million different, viable excuses to get Jensen out of awkward meetings or conversations.

They work amazingly well together, and Jared’s suddenly left wondering about where Danneel acquired her assistant, Sophia. They don’t seem to have the same sort of bond and Jared finds it a little strange that he seems to have fitted himself into this little mixture of a family without any of them batting an eyelid.

It’s that strange sort of family air – something Jared hasn’t felt in well over a decade – that makes the silence that settles in Chad office oddly comforting, not as awkward as Jared had been anticipating and so he’s a little startled when Chad clears his throat like he’s looking for attention.

When Jared raises his eyes from where he’s been staring at the floor, Chad isn’t looking at him. He’s gazing into his coffee cup like it holds the key to the universe and Jared is suddenly very uncomfortable. It’s taking everything he has not to run for the door.

“And now here’s the part where I make you run for the hills and never look back,” Chad says.

Jared raises an eyebrow, suddenly more concerned about the fact that Chad can apparently read his mind than what’s going to come out of his mouth.

“I think Jensen’s right.”

Jared blinks, confused. “About?”

“You should have gone to the cops a long time ago.”

Oh. The stalker.

Jared looks over his shoulder at the closed door to Jensen’s office and quirks an eyebrow at Chad.

Jensen’s best friend nods his head at a cupboard in the corner of the room that Jared hadn’t noticed before. “There’s a security feed set up in there. Jensen had it installed about five years ago after some douchebag tried to extort money out of him. Blackmail, you know?”

Jared just stares, not really knowing what to say to something like that.

“Anyway,” Chad goes on, “I wasn’t spying on you guys, I swear, I just didn’t want anyone stopping by and walking in and finding you two in the middle of…” he trails off with a blush. “Well, you know. When I saw that you were…having a discussion, I turned the whole thing off, and I know it’s none of my business, but I do think that Jensen has a point.”

“I know he does.”

Chad narrows his eyes. “Alright, so why are you fighting this? You want to get rid of this guy, right? Get your life back?”

“Of course!” Jared yells.

Chad purses his lips. “But?”

“I’m not sure I’m ready to know,” Jared admits in a small voice. “I’m not sure I’m strong enough to cope when I find out what it was about me that made this guy so obsessed.”

“Jared, man, come on. You have to know that it doesn’t say anything about you as a person. You’re not the only one to have a stalker, man. There have been so many reported cases about actors and singers and sport stars being stalked that I can’t even laugh at it. There’s just…something off in their heads that makes them see things that aren’t really there.”

“But what if it’s not about that?” Jared counters. “What if it’s just some jackass from back home who thinks it’s funny? What if it’s just about the act of tormenting me?”

“You really think someone’s going to follow you all the way across the country for a joke?” Chad asks, his head cocked to the side.

Jared cringes. “Alright, bad example.”

Chad sighs again. “Jared, you have to think about the long term here. This has been going on for nearly two years, and, yeah, okay, it hasn’t escalated past a couple letters. But you’ve already gotten a letter that threatens Jensen indirectly. This guy is upset that you’ve decided to be with someone who isn’t him. This could be his stressor. Things could get very bad very quickly.”

Jared nods, because he knows this, knows that he could be putting Jensen’s life in danger with every minute that he doesn’t report this, not to mention his own.

But that still doesn’t make Jared reach for the phone.

With a grunt of disapproval, Chad stands up and pulls his wallet out of his back pocket, taking a white business card out of one of the folds. He hands it to Jared.

“Benson Security,” he reads, looking up at Jensen’s assistant with a confused frown.

“I did some research over the weekend, figured there had to be something that could be done to make sure you feel safer on set. You said the first letter arrived at your home, right?”

“Not exactly; it was stuck underneath the wiper blade of my car when it was parked outside of my building.”

Chad makes a noise like that bit of information is particularly juicy. “Which, translated into psycho-stalker speak, means he was probably following you home from wherever you’d been that day.”

Jared takes a moment to think, to cast his mind back to that day two years ago, when his life changed forever and almost slams his head into the corner of Chad’s desk when he realizes where he was.

“On set,” he says, annoyance coloring his tone, “I was on set.”

God, was Tom right all along? Had this guy followed him home from the set, learning Jared’s real name from the few friends who knew him personally, people like Tom and Stephen, his co-star, and Julie the makeup girl?

Jared tries to think about that set, tries to picture all the people there, his co-star, the extras, sound guy, lighting, cameras – he can put a face to all of them, if not a name, and none of them look like they could be the kind of guy who would be crazy enough to stalk someone.

“Have you guys hired anyone new lately apart from me?” he asks Chad, his voice desperate and breathy.

Chad frowns and a scoff escapes his lips before he answers. “Other than Riley who has lived and worked in California for his entire career? No, we’ve had our crew for years, Jensen sourced them himself. I haven’t even heard of anyone asking for an interview.” Another snort. “Except for the guy the agency sent over. Man, I do not want to be Cindy Sampson when Jensen gets her on the…”

Chad trails off, coming to the same conclusion the same time that Jared does.

The jump to their feet simultaneously, crashing into each other as they try to go through the door together until Jared steps back and lets Chad go first.

They race down the long, empty hallway, their footsteps and ragged breathing echoing loudly in silence, and then skid to a halt in front of the elevators.

Jared hits the button repeatedly, knowing it won’t make the elevator come any faster but unable to stop himself all the same.

Finally the elevator lets out its obnoxious ‘ding’ and the doors slide open and Jared and Chad, in their rush to get into the car, fail to realize that Jensen is trying to get out and they both crash into him, sending him flying back into the wall of the car.

“What the hell?” Jensen grunts, straightening himself up and fixing the collar of his jacket.

“The guy,” Chad says breathlessly, “the guy who wanted a job, where is he?”

Jensen blinks, looking from one to the other like they’re high. “He was an obnoxious little prick. I’m just coming back from escorting him from the building.”

Chad and Jared look at each other, scarily in sync, as they race to the window at the front of the building.

“Do you see anyone?” Jared asks as he tries to adjust his body to see down to the sidewalk.

“Jared, there are dozens of people down there, he could be anyone.”

Jared turns and collapses into a convenient chair, dropping his face into his hands as his shoulders start to shake.

“Someone want to fill me in here?” Jensen asks as he crouches down next to Jared, his hand rubbing soothing circles on Jared’s back.

Jared can hear Chad taking a deep breath.

“We think the twink is the stalker.”

**Chapter 8**

It’s early when Jared bundles himself and Jensen into the back of the SUV on Wednesday morning. So early, in fact, that the sun hasn’t risen yet and Jared’s pretty sure that Jensen’s still asleep. Still, Jared knows that it’s a long drive to Jim’s country house, so the early start makes sense if Christian wants to be able to use as much daylight as possible.

Jensen shuffles across the seat until he’s pressed up against Jared’s side, his head pillowed on Jared’s chest and Jared can do nothing but smile down at him fondly and wrap an arm around his shoulders.

Their shiny new bodyguard gives Jared a fond smile when their gazes catch in the rearview mirror and then Ty starts the car, letting himself out of the gate at the bottom of driveway with the brand new code and getting them on their way.

Jared hadn’t really known what to expect when he’d called Benson Security with shaking fingers that Monday afternoon, but it wasn’t the sleek brunette that showed up in Jensen’s office the next morning.

Amber Benson was sophisticated and professional and Jared liked her instantly. She took notes as Jared and Jensen told her the whole story, listening intently and never once making Jared feel like he was a special kind of stupid for getting caught up in something like this.

She’d disappeared for an hour once they were done and she’d given them some ideas about what she wanted to address about their current security, returning with a handful of imposing men and informing Jared and Jensen of their new routine, right down to the personal bodyguard that would accompany them anywhere outside their home or office.

Ty Olsson had introduced himself with a soft smile, making a delicate comment about how sorry he was about Jared’s situation, before the three of them had sat down to discuss the logistics of being a bodyguard to someone who didn’t have a normal schedule, the result of which was Ty moving into one of Jensen’s guest bedrooms on the ground floor.

Jared hasn’t really had much time to judge how Ty’s going to fit into the glamorous world of gay porn, but he didn’t so much as bat an eyelash when he found out about Jared and Jensen’s professions, so Jared’s prepared to give the guy the benefit of the doubt.

After all, knowing about the glamorous world of gay porn and seeing it firsthand are two very different things.

“Mr. Padalecki,” Ty calls a while later, starling Jared out of his thoughts.

“Jared,” he corrects instinctively. “Mr. Padalecki was my father and the last thing I want is to be reminded of him.”

Ty’s quiet for a minute, probably mulling over the knowledge of Jared’s estrangement from his family.

“I just wanted to suggest that you get some sleep,” the bodyguard says softly. “It’s a long drive and I would imagine that you have quite a hectic few days coming up.”

Jared snorts. Apparently, Ty knows more about the porn world than he’d alleged.

“I’m serious,” Ty continues, his eyes flicking back and forth between the road and Jared’s reflection in the rearview. “I promise I won’t mind.”

Jared debates for another few seconds. Even though they haven’t spoken much in the short space of time they’ve been in the car, he still feels a little guilty of zoning out and leaving the guy with nothing but silence for the whole journey.

But then Jensen snuffles in his sleep, burrowing closer to Jared and Jared’s mind is made up.

Shifting around slightly, Jared gets them positioned somewhat comfortably, his arms around Jensen and his head pillowed on his and Jensen’s jackets rolled up against the window and he falls asleep almost instantly.

No bad dreams to plague his slumber.

Someone slapping their hands against the outside of the window next to Jared’s head jolts Jensen awake, his elbow jabbing painfully into Jared’s stomach as he struggles to sit up.

“What’s going on?” he asks, rubbing at his eyes and Jared has to bite down on a grin. He looks like a little kid who’s been woken up too early.

Jared twists in his seat to see who so rudely woke them up and spots Chad grinning at them like an idiot.

He looks way too hyper for the early hour and Jared starts to worry about how much coffee he’s had already.

There’s an awkward tangle of limbs as Jared and Jensen tried to get out of the back seat of the car while Ty and Chad stand and laugh.

“Idiots,” Jensen grumbles, snagging Jared’s jacket out of his hand as he starts walking.

“Where are you going?” Jared calls after him, unsure whether he should follow his boyfriend or do what he’s being paid to do and check in with Christian and Riley.

“There is a house five minutes’ walk that way that is completely empty and has a bed,” Jensen says over his shoulder. “I got up way too fucking early for this shit.”

Jared just shrugs. He knows Jensen probably would have driven up here with him anyway if it hadn’t been for Ty, so he’s not too worried about Jensen’s cranky attitude, but the look of concern on the bodyguard’s face disturbs him a little.

“Something wrong?” Jared asks when Ty continues to frown at Jensen’s retreating form.

Ty purses his lips. “Technically, you are the object of this stalker’s obsession, but so far, Mr. Ackles-”

“Jensen,” Jared and Chad say in unison.

Ty laughs. “- Jensen is the only one to be threatened, at least inadvertently. It makes my job a little harder, I have to admit.”

Jared follow’s Ty’s gaze to where he can just about see Jensen in the distance and nods his head once.

“Let me put it to you like this,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest, “in about two minutes, I’m going to be in the middle of a set, surrounded by camera crews, lighting and sound guys, the director, the director’s husband, the makeup girl and about a dozen other people.”

Ty shakes his head. “All those people won’t stop a guy with a rifle and a scope.”

“And you won’t be able to do anything for me either, if that does happen,” Jared counters, “whereas, right now, Jensen’s in that house alone.”

Something flashes in Ty’s eyes and Jared knows his decision has been made. 

“You will make sure that you are never alone at any point throughout the day,” he says and Jared knows that it’s an order and not a request.

Next to him, Chad salutes. “Promise I’ll even escort him to the john.”

Ty gives them both one last concerned glance before he turns on his heel and follows after Jensen.

“Come on,” Chad says, linking his arm through Jared’s, “Chris was looking for you earlier and I think that was Riley’s car I saw pulling up behind yours.”

Jared goes willingly, already getting into the mindset he’ll need for this role.

///

Turns out, it’s a pretty easy shoot.

Riley is a nice guy, considerate and professional. He’s willing to listen to Jared’s ideas and he even offers a few of his own and it makes the whole day go a lot better than most of the other shoots he’s been on.

Jensen comes down from the house during their breaks, though he never stays for the filming – not that Jared blames him, but he still seems interested in how things are going and he positively beams when Riley tells him how much he’s enjoying working with Jared.

“Depending on how this turns out, maybe we can come up with an idea to have you two work together again,” Jensen suggests. He cocks an eyebrow at Jared. “That seem cool with you, Jared?”

Jared nods. “Sounds good.”

He’s been enjoying working with someone who seems to like what they do and understands both his own and Jared’s fans enough to know what they want to see in a shoot. He knows Riley has been checking into him, probably visiting the message boards and finding out what people like about Jared’s shoots, but he doesn’t mind – after all, Jensen showed him some of Riley’s old shoots, so he knew what to expect when they got in front of the camera.

Jared just didn’t expect to meet someone who thinks about this business the same way he does, and he thinks – if this shoot turns out well – that he would like to work with Riley again at some point.

“I’ve actually been trying to develop a sort of weekly show for the website with a few of the writers,” Jensen says, cutting into Jared’s thoughts. “Maybe like a half-hour thing about a couple trying out something new every week, sex wise. Do either of you think you’d be interested in that?”

Riley laughs. “I don’t know, Jensen. Do you and your writers think you can come up with a different kink every week?”

Jared shoots Jensen a nervous look. They’ve talked about the BDSM stuff and he trusts Jensen not to put him into that kind of situation, but still, an idea like this, it has the possibility to make the writers minds run wild.

Jensen pats him on the shoulder, squeezing slightly even though his eyes are still on Riley. “Don’t worry, Smith, between all of us, I think we can manage.”

Riley shrugs. “Then count me in.” He gives Jared a considering look. “It might be kinda cool to work with the same person for more than a couple days.”

“It’ll definitely be something different,” Jared acknowledges, but has to admit – if only to himself for now – that the idea has a lot of appeal. 

Working a shoot like this means that he could maybe pull back on other shoots, maybe cut them down to one a month instead of one or two a week. Solo shoots would still give him something to give to his fans as well as filling out his contract obligations.

“Well,” Riley says suddenly, pulling on the belt of his robe, “I’m gonna go get something to eat before Christian puts us back to work. I think he said he wanted to get the first part of the garage scene shot before he calls it a day.” With that, he takes off towards the catering truck as Jensen waves after him.

“See you later, Ri.” He takes Jensen’s hand in his and turns him away from the crowd of people, most of who seem to be standing around doing nothing now that Christian has called a break for dinner.

“You okay?” Jared asks after they’ve been walking a few minutes, the back porch of Jim’s house now in view.

Jensen smiles. “Yeah, I just want to make sure you’re okay with that whole web show deal.”

Jared twists his mouth uncertainly as they sit down on the small wicker couch. “It’s not that I hate the idea, really. I think it’s great and I really want to do it, to be a part of it.”

“But you’re not sure?” Jensen presses.

“I signed a contract with Danneel,” Jared says quickly. “There’s a clause in it about doing a certain amount of movies per year. Putting the show on top of that…” Jared sighs. “I just don’t know if I can do it, Jensen.”

Jensen stares at him with wide eyes. “That’s what you’re worried about?”

“Well…yeah.”

“Jared, Danneel’s not going to care about the contract; she cares about you. She cares about you as my partner, not about how much money you can bring into this company.”

“It’s still a legal document, Jensen, and I got paid a lot of money by putting my name on it. People are already getting twitchy over the fact that you and I are dating. If they find out that I’m welching on my contract, too…” He lets the sentence hang, lets Jensen fill in the rest, but instead of agreeing or even arguing, Jensen takes his phone out of the pocket of his jacket and dials.

“Hey, Jeff,” he says as soon as his call is answered, “Jensen. Yeah, I’m good, on set with Jared and Riley right now. Listen, are you free Monday? I’m gonna need to amend Jared’s contract some. Yeah, few new developments. Great. I’ll see you around two? Perfect. Bye.”

Jensen hangs up with a grin and Jared rolls his eyes.

“Oh, good. ’Cause the other guys on the books probably don’t think I’m getting enough special treatment as it is.”

Jensen’s face changes instantly, the bright grin fading away as he looks up at Jensen with a serious expression.

“I don’t give a shit,” he says suddenly. “I don’t give a shit if every single actor I have on file starts protesting and spewing out things about favoritism, because nothing is going to change about your treatment at this company.”

“Jensen, you can’t just wrap me up in cotton wool and hope this whole thing just goes away.”

Jensen snorts. “Watch me.”

Jared sighs and looks back out of over the space behind the back of the house, now completely filled with people and trailers, the food tent that Samantha and Traci had set up to feed the crew, and Ty, trying to be discreet as he hangs around the edge of the chaos and watches Jensen and Jared out of the corner of his eyes. Cameras and lights and monitors and generators and other equipment that Jared doesn’t have names for as far as his eye can see and this has been Jared’s whole life for the past decade, longer even. 

But ever since that Tuesday morning, when he walked into that office and saw Jensen sitting behind his desk, it hasn’t been enough. Jared wants more, wants a life outside of the world of porn, wants friends, a family even, and he’s not blind to the fact that, apparently Jensen wants that for him, too. Wants it _with him_ , even.

“I wish you and I had started…” Jared waves his hand in the air, indicating himself and Jensen, “whatever this is that we’ve started before I signed that contract with Danni.”

“A relationship,” Jensen says, amused. 

Jared can feel himself blush. “Didn’t know if it was too early to call it that yet.”

“We live together,” Jensen reminds him with a grin, but he sobers quickly. “Why do you wish that?”

“It just sucks to be locked into this contract when I finally have something in my life that’s making me wanna stop doing porn.”

Jensen swivels on the bench until he’s sitting sideways, facing Jared. “Really? You want out of your contract?”

“You…don’t have to be so happy about it, Jensen,” Jared says carefully.

“Jared, I told you the other day, I don’t want you doing porn, not with this guy following you around. It’s just fueling his fantasies, especially if that really was him trying to get a job with the company.”

“I know, but I still signed the contract, I still got paid.”

Jensen jumps to his feet. “Screw the contract, Jared! And screw the fucking money! Just tell me, right now, what do you wanna do?”

“I like the idea of the web series,” Jared confesses, “after that…” He trails off again, because he honestly doesn’t know, but Jensen nods like a decision has been made.

“Alright then, next week we’ll have a meeting, you, me, Riley, Christian and a few of the script writers. We’ll come up with a plan, number of episodes, shit like that, and when it’s done, when you’ve finished filming…” He gives Jared a warm smile. “I’ll find something else for you to do in the company. Experience like yours, there’s gotta be something.”

“I feel like I’m letting you down,” Jared whispers. “And not only you, but Danneel, my fans.”

“I don’t care,” Jensen dismisses. “If I thought you would do it, I would shut down production right now and take you home, never let you leave the house again. Hell, never let you leave the _bed_ again.”

He swoops down and kisses Jared deeply, climbing onto his lap and straddling his thighs. He puts his hands on Jared’s jaw, deepening the kiss, teeth scraping against Jared’s bottom lip.

“I want you safe,” Jensen breathes against Jared’s lips.

Jared tightens his arms around Jensen’s waist and nods his head.

///

Jensen is starving.

Apparently, Jim didn’t think about stocking his kitchen before everyone descended on his house, so the only option Jensen has is the catering truck that has been set up for the crew.

Right in the middle of the set.

Jensen stands on the back porch and gazes over at all the people bustling about like busy little ants and tries to convince himself that he should just go over there and get some food.

He can’t see Jared from his current position, or Riley for that matter, so that might mean they’re filming the break-down scene on the dirt road that AJ and Travis set up near the property line.

So Jensen really shouldn’t see anything if he heads to the truck and lets Samantha and Traci feed him, but that doesn’t make it any easier to make his feet work.

“You look like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

Jensen cuts his eyes to the left and sees Ty standing near the bottom of the steps, his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.

“I’m hungry.”

Ty cocks his eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware that that was something that required such contemplation.”

Jensen manages a chuckle. “I’m not really keen on walking in on Jared giving it to Riley like the porn star he is.”

Ty chokes on a laugh. “I was under the impression that you’d seen all of Jared’s past movies.”

“Yeah, but that was online or DVD’s, not in the flesh. And that was way, way before we started dating. Now it just feels…wrong or something.”

Ty laughs again. “Well, I can tell you that he and the rest of the filming crew are down at the property line. I promise you won’t see anything if you head to the food truck now. But I can’t promise how long it’ll take them to finish the scene.”

“Sold,” Jensen says and jumps down off the porch.

Ty falls into step beside him and Jensen takes a moment to think about how well the bodyguard fits into his and Jared’s life. Sure, it’s only been a matter of days, but it already feels like Ty has been around for a lot longer than that.

Just like Jared himself and Jensen considers the fact that, in the future, he should probably be a little more conscious about trusting people so easily.

“How are things on set?” Jensen asks as they navigate their way through the minefield of people and wires and monitors and trailers that have been set up to occupy the host of workers so that they don’t have to drive all the way back to the city when they’ve finished for the day. Considering it already closing in on eleven o’clock at night, Jensen is more than happy with that arrangement.

“They seem to be going well,” Ty answers. “I don’t presume to know the ins and outs of making a porn movie, but from what Chad tells me, Christian is pleased with how things are going. Seems to think that they’ll finish on time, which I’m sure, from a financial point of view, is a good thing.”

Jensen nods. “The sooner we wrap, the sooner we can get started on the editing and thinking about marketing to get it out there. Jared has a large fan base, so they’ll want to know as soon as possible that he has something new coming out.”

Ty shakes his head. “I don’t know how you do it, allow other people to watch your significant other having sex with someone else.”

Jensen shrugs as they stop in front of the food truck. “It’s not really the same, though. It’s work. It’s his job. I know that, I know that his heart is mine, even if he shares everything else.” Jensen smirks as he thinks about his sex life with Jared, the things that he gets to see that no one else does. “Well, almost everything else.”

Ty shakes his head. “I’m not even gonna ask. It’s more than my job’s worth to ask about my employer’s sex life.”

“And standing around watching as Jared fucks someone senseless isn’t?” 

“It’s my job to make sure that Mr. Padalecki is as safe and as protected as he can be.”

“Which is why you’re having dinner with me right now,” Jensen points out as they give their orders to Samantha.

Ty shrugs. “Jared is surrounded by people; he’s as safe as he can be without putting him in a bubble or a bulletproof box. Whereas you, Mr. Ackles, are alone and the last letter was a specific threat to you, not Jared.”

Jensen inclines his head. “Alright, I can see your point, I suppose. Doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.” He sighs. “I just hate the necessity of it, that Jared needs a bodyguard at all.”

Ty accepts both food cartons from Samantha with a silent nod and directs Jensen to one of the picnic tables that have been set up. “Have either of you come up with any more theories about who it could be?”

Jensen takes a bite of his pasta. “No, not really, just that twink that found his way into the office on Monday.”

Ty nods. “Were you aware of Jared’s estrangement from his family?”

Jensen blinks up at him. “I didn’t know you knew about that.”

“It was an off-handed comment Jared made on the drive here yesterday morning. You were asleep.”

Jensen blushes but presses on. “What exactly did Jared say?”

“Like I said, it was off-handed; I don’t even think he was aware of what he was talking about. He just said that I wasn’t to call him ‘Mr. Padalecki’ as it reminded him of his father and the last thing he wanted was to be reminded of him.”

Jensen nods, setting his fork aside. “Jared’s parents didn’t react well to the news that their son was gay, his father in particular. Gerald Padalecki threatened to kill him, but Jared managed to escape when he went to get his gun. Jared hasn’t seen or spoken to any of them since.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Um, Jared was seventeen, I think. I know he was in his senior year of high school when it happened. He never graduated.”

Ty pulls a small black notebook from the inside pocket of his jacket. “I think I’ll have my company look into them.”

Jensen frowns. “You really think Jared’s parents could do something like this? You’ve read the letters; do you really think his parents would be able to write that after they couldn’t deal with the fact that he was gay?”

“Any brothers or sisters?”

Jensen pauses for a second before he nods. “I know he has an older brother, but he hasn’t mentioned any other siblings to me. I don’t know where they were when that shit with his parents went down.”

“Could be they hold some resentment towards Jared for breaking up their family. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen a family member doing something like this.” Ty puts his notebook away. “Like I said, I’ll have my company look into them. Discreetly, of course. The last thing I want to do is give Jared more things to worry about.”

“You’re a good man, Ty. I’m glad Chad pushed us into this.”

Speaking of Chad, Jensen’s assistant bounds up to the table they’re sitting at, slightly red in the face and breathing heavily, like he’s just run all the way from the property line where they’re supposed to be filming.

“Jensen, did you organize another actor for this shoot?”

Jensen frowns. “No, the only actors who should be onset are Jared and Riley.”

“That’s what I thought, but I’ve just spotted a guy walking around acting a little suspect. I don’t know his name, but I know I’ve seen him in a couple small time flicks over the last year or so. I think he was part of that orgy thing we did a couple months ago.”

“What does he look like?” Jensen asks, part of him already knowing that Chad’s going to describe the twink he threw out of Danneel’s office the previous Monday, the guy Chad and Jared were sure was the stalker.

“Tall,” Chad starts, “not as tall as Jared, of course, but over six feet. Brown hair, green eyes, a good looking guy. Actually, he kinda looks like a younger version of you, Jensen. You know, if you squint.”

Danneel had said the same thing.

Ty is on his feet before Jensen is, asking Chad to point them in the right direction and speaking into the radio he has clipped to his pants, sending word to Christian to get Jared off the set and up to the main house.

Jensen’s torn. He wants to go to Jared, make sure his boyfriend is okay, isn’t freaking out about someone getting onto the set.

But the bigger part of his wants to see this guy, wants to find out why he’s here, on this set, why he’s upping his stalking game now and if it really has something to do with Jensen.

Christian’s voice echoes over Ty’s radio, crackly and static-y, telling Ty that he and Riley are with Jared and that they’ll stay with him at the house until they’ve dealt with whatever’s going on, and Jensen’s mind is made up. He trusts Christian almost as much as he trusts Chad and Danneel and it’s enough for Jensen to know that Jared is safe with Chad’s husband and he follows Chad and Ty as they run back down to the property line.

The rest of the crew are standing around with their hands in their pockets, talking quietly in groups of two or three, wondering why filming has been stopped. They stop as soon as they see Jensen, Ty and Chad, all of them knowing that Jared’s bodyguard is on set and knowing that it must mean something bad if he’s rushing around with the boss looking panicked but determined.

“Where did you see him?” Jensen asks Chad as they hurry along.

“Peering out from behind one of the generators. Like he was looking for someone.”

“Jared,” Jensen growls. “I swear to God, when I find that little son of a bitch I’m gonna make him capable of doing a very special kind of porn.”

“That’s him,” Chad says suddenly, pointing to a guy ducking down behind a steady-cam.

Jensen groans. “It’s the twink from Danni’s office.” Chad and Jared’s theory is sounding more and more like it’s the truth.

“Hey!” Ty yells suddenly, his hand flying to the holster under his jacket.

The twink – Jensen can’t even remember if he ever found out the guy’s name – startles, his eyes going impossibly wide as his gaze locks on the bodyguard.

“Wait, wait, please!” he yells as he stands up, his hands held out in front of him.

Ty rushes forward, grabbing hold of the kid and pinning his arms behind his back.

“Please, Mr. Ackles!” the kid yells. “I just wanted to talk to you! Ask you to reconsider!”

Jensen shakes his head. “Get him to the house.”

Jensen trails behind as Ty drags the guy to the house and Chad runs ahead, closing the door that Jared, Christian and Riley are holed up in and leading Ty to the kitchen.

Jensen watches from the doorway as Ty throws the kid carelessly into a chair, pushing him down again when he tries to rise.

“What’s your name?” Jensen growls, bending low over the table to get into the guy’s face.

“Br-Brock Kelly,” he says, confusion marring his face, like he can’t understand why Jensen didn’t know that already.”

“And just what did you think you’d accomplish by coming here, Mr. Kelly? You’ve always kept your distance before, torturing Jared with those letters, threatening me and the people closest to him. Why come here now?”

“What? What are you even talking about? Who the hell is Jared? I just wanted to talk to you.”

Jensen exchanges a look with Ty and Chad.

“You didn’t come to see Jared?” Chad asks, taking a seat at the table across from Brock.

Brock slams his hand down on the tabletop. “Who the hell is Jared? I came here to ask Mr. Ackles to reconsider taking me on. I’d be a good fit for this business! I know I’d fit in well with JADA!”

Jensen shakes his head, confused beyond measure, and stumbles slightly as Ty pulls him away from the table. 

“Jensen, I honestly don’t think this guy has anything to do with Jared. I think he really did just come here to try and talk to you.”

“Why? Just…what the hell?”

“Think about it, Jensen,” Chad says softly, coming up behind Jensen. “He’s a porn star and you’re the CEO of the biggest gay porn studio in the United States, of course he’s going to want to talk to you to try and convince you to sign him.”

“By sneaking onto my set?! By being aggressive and attacking my business partner? In what universe did he think that was going to get him a contract with JADA?”

Before anyone has a chance to answer, there’s a commotion on the other side of the closed door. Christian and Riley’s voices calling out Jared’s name as they obviously struggle to hold him back.

“No!” Jared yells. “I wanna see him! I wanna see what kind of bastard-”

The door opening cuts Jared off and his eyes land on Brock, still sitting forlornly at the table, but as soon as he spots Jared, he’s on his feet, an excited look on his face.

“PJ Tristan?! That’s who’s shooting today? PJ Tristan?!” 

Jared pauses, his brows furrowing in confusion. “What is going on? He doesn’t…”

He trails off and Jensen shakes his head. “No, it doesn’t appear that this this guy knows much of anything. But no, he’s not…this has nothing to do with…Jared.”

Brock’s gaze swings to Jensen. “Please! Oh, God, please! You have to let me shoot with him!” He giggles like a schoolboy. “Oh, man! Can you imagine it?! Can you imagine what it would be like, PJ Tristan being topped by someone like me?!”

Just like that, Jensen’s anger is back and he storms towards Brock.

“Okay, listen up, you little piece of shit. First of all, you do not break into a secured set and demand to be given anything. You also do not enter a place of business under a false name and then demand a contract. Second, you will never, ever top PJ Tristan, because PJ Tristan bottoms to no one except-” Jensen cuts himself off, giving himself a shake and changing his mind on what he was about to say. “Except when he makes that decision. And trust me when I tell you that it wouldn’t be for a silly little twink like you.”

Brock’s eyes narrow at Jensen before he shifts his gaze back to Jared.

“Come on, PJ, you know a good shoot when you see one, right?”

Jared shrugs. “Sure. And when I do see one, I’ll let my boss know so that he can decide whether he thinks it’s a good idea or not.”

Jensen leans towards the smaller man again. “I’m going to tell you this one time, Brock, and if you really want to make it in the high-flying world of gay porn, you better listen.”

Brock nods his head, leaning forward in his seat, an eager look on his face.

“You do not break onto a set where other actors are filming, disrupt said filming and then expect the producer and director to allow you to film with the star of the movie who’s filming you just disrupted as though you are somehow better than everyone else.”

Brock shakes his head. “But…but if you would just-”

“No,” Jensen interrupts, “I don’t care what kind of excuse you have for what you did today or how many reasons you believe you can come up with for why you belong at JADA. Thanks to your behavior today, you will never – and I do mean _never_ – work for my company as long as my name is above the door. Do I make myself clear?”

Swallowing hard, Brock looks around at the faces of the men in the room and Jensen knows that if any of them feel anything remotely like what he’s feeling right now, Brock isn’t going to find much sympathy.

After a few seconds, Brock’s face falls, defeat coloring his delicate features and he hangs his head.

“I understand.”

“Good.” Jensen straightens up to his full height. “Ty, please escort Mr. Kelly off the property.”

“Sure thing,” Ty says as he takes a step forward, pulling Brock to his feet by one arm and dragging him out the door.

“Riley,” Jensen sighs, “why don’t you take some time to yourself while I talk to Christian and Jared?”

Riley shrugs. “Cool. See you in a couple hours.”

Jensen waits until the door closes behind him before he lets out a deep sigh and falls down onto a chair. “Damn, I’m seeing bad guys everywhere.”

Chad lays a hand on his shoulder. “Technically, I saw him first and I was the one who jumped to ‘stalker’ before I even paused to consider another explanation.”

“When someone sneaks past security of a set I’m currently filming on, it’s probably a good bet that it’s the stalker,” Jared mumbles pitifully.

Jensen takes a deep breath. “How much do you guys have left to film? Can we call it quits tonight and finish the last scenes tomorrow?”

Christian sniggers. “We have about four scenes left. If Jared and Riley can keep it up long enough to get through it.”

Jared glares at him. “I can do it. Go talk to Riley.”

Christian laughs again and Chad pushes him towards the door before Jared can cause some damage.

“Are you okay?” Jared asks as soon as they’re gone and Jensen barks out a laugh.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“You got pretty angry,” Jared points out and Jensen has to concede the point.

“I thought…I thought maybe it would be over, you know? I thought this could be it, we’d get the guy and everything could go back to normal.”

Jared takes a seat at the table next to him. “But, Jensen, we don’t actually have a normal yet. For us, this right here is normal.”

Jensen shoves him gently. “Stop using logic on me, you know what I mean.”

“I do,” Jared says softly, “and I want that, too. I thought the same thing you did, that’s why I wouldn’t let Christian and Riley stop me from getting in here. I wanted to see him, find out why.”

“You think we’ll ever find out? If we find the guy, you think he’ll tell us why?”

Jared smiles sadly. “I hope so.”

///

They’re in the backseat of some old car from the sixties. Jared’s not really good with cars; all he cares about is the fact that it’s a convertible, because it would be a bitch trying to shoot this scene in a hardtop. 

Right now, Jared’s sitting in the middle of the back seat, his feet firmly planted on the floor, and a camera mounted right next to his face. Riley is sitting on his lap with his feet braced against the seats in front of him as Jared thrusts into his tight channel with everything he has.

It’s the second to last scene they have to shoot – the second to last scene in the whole movie, and Jared’s sort of glad for Christian’s insistence they film everything in sequence. All that’s left after this is the soppy, loved-up goodbye scene and then Jared has the rest of his Saturday to himself, that he plans to spend locked up in Jim’s house with Jensen until Ty drives them back home the following morning.

Riley gives a little grunt even as he throws his head back against Jared’s shoulder, Jared’s cock hitting just that spot inside him, and Jared knows he’s close.

“PJ,” Riley gasps, his face screwed up in pleasure while the hand that’s out of sight of the cameras digs sharply into Jared’s hip, silently informing Jared that he’s going to blow.

Jared tips his head back, exposing his throat to the camera and the glean of sweat he knows is pooling in the hollow of his collarbone, and casts a look past the camera to Christian. 

The director’s eyes are glued to the monitors in front of him, taking in the scene from every angle and paying no attention to what his actors are actually doing.

Jared thrusts his hips particularly hard, angling for that spot deep inside Riley’s body and is rewarded when Riley lets out a yell, cursing madly as he tries to hold himself in check.

But it has the effect Jared was hoping for, making Christian look away from the monitor and Jared leans forward again, pressing his forehead to the nape of Riley’s neck.

“Come on,” he gasps, speeding up his hips, “almost there.”

“Okay, let’s bring it home, guys,” Christian says with a smile in his voice. “If we finish up now, maybe we can all get out of here at a decent hour.”

Jared takes the direction for what it is and loses himself to the rhythm, snapping up into Riley’s body with ever increasing urgency. Riley’s curses dissolve into meaningless grunts and groans as he tumbles towards the edge, and just as Jared feels his own orgasm tingling at the base of his spine, his takes one hand from Riley’s hip and wraps it around Riley’s hard and leaking cock.

It doesn’t take much for Riley after that. A few sharp strokes and a well-timed thrust against his prostate has Riley spilling all over Jared’s hand and his own belly.

Jared lets his control snap and he comes, filling the condom as he loses himself to the sensation, even as he tries to remember that he needs to make it look as hot as possible.

It’s hard to do when your brain is pretty much short circuiting. 

Riley collapses back against Jared’s chest, his breathing heavy even as he angles his head for the scripted kiss.

“I gotta go,” he whispers to the curve of Jared’s jaw. “It’s a long drive back to the city.”

Jared grunts out an agreement and throws his head back against the seat, acting out his disappointment while at the same time hiding his relieved smile against the black leather when he hears Christian’s ‘cut’.

“God,” Riley groans, lifting himself out of Jared’s lap, “you’re a fucking giant, man. I swear, after this shoot, I’m not gonna be able to walk straight for a month.”

The crew laughs loudly while Jared tries to hide his blush as he pulls on a bathrobe.

“Alright,” Christian says, jogging up to them, “why don’t you guys take thirty and we’ll set up for the final scene. And then we can all get the fuck out of here.”

Jared claps Christian on the shoulder gratefully and steps into an empty trailer, washing himself down and taking a few moments to himself before he heads for the catering truck.

He’s just taken a bottle of water from Samantha when Riley catches up with him, a hesitant smile on his face.

“Hey, man, can I talk to you for a second?”

Jared shrugs. “Sure.” He starts to lead them towards the rows of picnic tables, but Riley stops him with a hand on his arm.

“Not here.”

Jared can’t do anything but follow after his co-star as he heads for the trailer that’s been set up for him at the edge of the set and he closes the door behind him when they make their way inside.

“So, what’s up?” he asks as he sprawls across Riley’s unmade bed while the man himself sits on the couch opposite.

He sighs. “I just…I know it’s not really any of my business, but when they guy got onset the other day. Jared, you were…you were beyond freaked out, and believe me, I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut and stay out of it, but if we’re going to be working together over the next couple months, I wanted to make sure that you were okay. That there was nothing major going on with you.”

Jared straightens himself up, closing his robe where it’s fallen open, revealing the top of this thigh.

“It’s pretty pointless of me to say that there’s nothing going on; clearly you’ve noticed the personal bodyguard and the extra security onset?” when Riley just nods, Jared goes on. “Yeah, there’s some pretty fucked up shit going on in my life right now, but I can promise you that none of it concerns you and you shouldn’t have to deal with any of it. I’m sorry about filming being disrupted yesterday, but that should have been a one off. I don’t think anything like that will be happening again.”

At least, Jared hopes that’s the case. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if someone else tries to get on set. The way he’s feeling right now, Jared might just tell Ty to shoot first and ask questions later.

“Okay, but, Jared, I have to know,” Riley says, an earnest look on his face. “Is this going to be a thing? All this security isn’t because your boyfriend is the head honcho. I’ve been on sets where Jensen has been present before and he’s never had security like this.”

Jared’s getting more and more uncomfortable as Riley goes on, and he has to admit, his co-star has a point. A good point. 

“No, you’re right, the security and the bodyguard, all of that is because of me and what’s going on in my personal life right now, but I can’t…I can’t really get into that right now.”

Doesn’t want to get into it, at all. He might know each and every inch of Riley’s body intimately after three days of filming, but he doesn’t know him at all, personally. It was hard enough confessing everything to Jensen and the rest of his –their – family; telling this virtual stranger is too much for him to take.

Riley gives him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry, Jared, I can tell that whatever’s going on is tough for you to handle, but I have to think about myself here. I mean, are you in some kind of physical danger? Is this gonna affect every set you’re working on? If we’re going to be working together in the future, I think I have a right to know what’s going on.”

Jared stares at Riley, unblinking, for several seconds before he pushes himself off the bed and rushes out the door, deaf to Riley’s and other people’s calls as he runs across the set.

The door to the back of the house is mercifully open and Jared barrels through it, heading for the dining room that Jensen has turned into a makeshift office for the duration of the shoot.

Jensen’s on his feet as soon as Jared darkens the doorway.

“Whoa, whoa!” he yells, automatically reaching out for Jared as he barrels forward. “What happened? What the hell is going on?!”

“Riley’s right,” Jared gasps, his voice wracked with exertion. 

“What? Right about what? What the hell is going on? And where the hell is Ty?”

Jared can tell that Jensen’s concerned by how upset he is, but he can’t seem to make himself calm down as he fists his hands in Jensen’s t-shirt, tugging him closer.

“What if, the next time someone breaks onto the set, it _is_ the stalker?”

“Jared, no one’s gonna break onto the set again, okay? At least, not a set that you’re on. This whole on-location crap was a bad idea in the first place and I never should have agreed to it.”

Jared shakes his head. “But that’s just it, Jensen. This guy…this guy could be anyone. Could pretend to be anyone to find a way to get onset and get to me, or you. I’m putting everyone in danger just by being around them.”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Jared, that…that’s ridiculous.” But he’s not looking Jared in the eye and Jared knows that Jensen agrees with him.

“You know I’m right.”

Jensen takes a deep breath and raises his eyes to Jared. “We don’t know that this guy is gonna try anything like that.”

“But you admit that it’s a possibility?” Jensen says nothing and Jared knows he has his answer. “I shouldn’t be filming. At least not until after we find this guy and the cops have dealt with him.”

Jensen’s eyes widen just slightly. “You’ll do it? You’ll go to the cops?”

Reluctantly, Jared nods his head. “If you go with me.”

Jensen presses a kiss to the corner of Jared’s mouth. “I’ll be right there with you every step of the way.”

Jared pulls Jensen into a hug, crushing the other man against his chest and has to admit, he feels better knowing that the decision has been made.

**Chapter 9**

“What the hell are we watching?” Jared asks suddenly, the images on the screen suddenly penetrating through the haze of boredom that had enveloped him ever since Jensen left for the office early in the morning.

He knows he’s a little co-dependent at the moment. He’s okay with that.

“Um.” Sitting next to him on the couch, Chad looks down at the DVD box in his hands. “ _Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2_. Genevieve brought it over with her.”

Jared cranes his neck to look at Genevieve over the back of the couch. She’s cooking in the kitchen, hips swaying to music only she can hear as she prepares a meal for the three hungry boys camped out on the couch.

“You brought this shit with you?” Jared calls out to her and she tips her head back in a laugh.

“I just wanted to see if you boneheads would actually watch it. You deserve the pain of horny teenage vampire couples if you don’t pay attention to the beautiful girl who’s willing to feed you.”

Somewhere on the other side of Chad, Christian lets out a snore.

“I think you put Chris into a coma,” Jared tells her and she chuckles again.

“He’ll wake up as soon as the chili is ready. Christian Kane loves my chili.”

Jared settles back on the couch and stares at the TV. “What are you three doing here anyway?”

Not that he’s complaining about their presence, it’s nice to have friends around, people he can hang out with who don’t seem to want anything in return.

It’s been a long time since Jared felt comfortable enough around people to just hang out and let himself go, and he’s grateful that they all seem to have let him into their lives with no reservations, especially now that he’s agreed to file a police report about the stalker; he feels like he needs all the support he can get.

But, it is the middle of Monday afternoon, and that suggests that at least some of them should be at work.

“Are you working?” Christian asks sleepily, his eyes still closed.

“I’m on hiatus,” Jared reminds him, “I’m not working again until all this shit is over with.”

Christian blinks one eye open to look at him. “There are other directors at JADA, Jared. Jensen and I came to an agreement a long time ago – I only work with the best. And right now, the best that JADA has to offer are all taking the week off. And so am I.”

“I work from home,” Genevieve calls from the kitchen, “I set my own hours and I decided that I was taking today off to feed you three. ‘Cause otherwise, you’d probably starve.”

Jared shrugs in agreement and turns to Chad. “What’s your excuse?”

“Jensen told me I wasn’t needed today, since he and Danneel are just going over contracts. Danni gave her assistant the day off, too.”

“She doesn’t hang out with you guys?” Everyone else is here, Jared would have expected that Danneel’s assistant belonged to the same inner family as Chad and Christian, but when Christian laughs, he assumes he’s wrong.

“Sophia and Chad…they don’t really get along,” Christian manages around his giggles.

Chad groans and throws his head back against the couch cushions. “When Jensen and Danneel and I were first starting up the company, I was still living in denial land and pretending I was bi. It was more because of my dad than anything. He wasn’t exactly bouncing off the ceiling when I told him I liked boys.”

Jared shifts in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable with the conversation. He’s never told anyone but Jensen his reasons for leaving home and he’s never had any serious relationships or friendships for anyone to notice that Jared never mentions his family at all.

He knows that’s going to change now; Genevieve’s already talking about Christmas and Thanksgiving, and someone is going to ask Jared sooner or later whether or not his parents will be joining them.

He’d rather tell everyone on his own terms, rather than having the question sprung on his and making everyone more uncomfortable and embarrassed than they have to be.

“Well, anyway,” Chad goes on, “Danneel started to realize that me working as the assistant for both her and Jensen just wasn’t going to work. After a couple months, I was pretty much exhausted, falling asleep at my desk, in the elevator. The last straw came when I feel asleep at the wheel when I was at a stop sign and some guy rear ended me.” Genevieve snorts a laugh and Chad rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t need to be said, thank you.”

“I’m pretty sure it does,” Genevieve quips.

Chad ignores her. “So, Danneel hired an assistant for herself. Sophia. Man, I thought she was amazing, the hottest girl I’d ever seen. We started dating not long after she started and things were great…for a while.”

Jared can sense where this is going and he suddenly has a pang of deep sympathy both for Sophia and for Chad, forced to live a lie to make someone else feel better.

“It wasn’t Christian,” Chad tells him, like he wants to make sure that Jared knows that Christian isn’t the bad guy in this situation; that the blame lies completely on Chad’s shoulders alone. “It was just some guy I picked up at a club. Don’t even think I got his name. Anyway, it had been months and I just…I just needed it, you know?”

Jared nods, understanding completely. He’s gone without for so long that just a week living with Jensen has made him crave it, crave the need to spread himself for Jensen at any given moment.

Jared squirms for an entirely different reason now as he tries to come up with a good enough excuse to kick everyone out as soon as Jensen gets home.

“I’d forgotten I’d invited Sophia over for breakfast the next morning. She let herself in with the spare key and went looking for me when I wasn’t around.”

Chad stops there, he doesn’t need to continue, they can all figure out what happened next, can all imagine the devastation on Sophia’s face when she caught her boyfriend in bed with some nameless guy, naked as they day he was born.

And it’s not hard to understand why Sophia doesn’t want to socialize with Chad anymore, though Jared really can’t understand why she would still agree to work with him. If he’d been in Sophia’s shoes, he would have run as soon as that bedroom door opened.

But then, that’s Jared’s MO, isn’t it? Running instead of confronting the problem head on.

That’s why he’s in the situation he’s in, scared of his own shadow.

“Where’s Ty today?” Genevieve asks, closer than Jared thought she was and he tilts his head back to see her standing behind him, one hand on Chad’s shoulder as she sips from a glass of orange juice.

Jared understands what she’s doing, changing the subject to allow Chad to regroup and he gives her a grateful smile.

“Jensen gave him the day off. Since I’m not leaving the house and Danni’s driving Jensen back from the office, neither of us is really in need of him right now. I’m sure he’s happy; getting us out of his hair for more than ten minutes.”

“I like Ty,” Christian says suddenly.

“Yeah?” Jared presses, a little relieved. Christian might be a friend, a part of Jared’s personal life as well as professional, but he still can’t get past that little voice in his head that reminds him that Chris’ job is to tell him what to do on a daily basis. A lot of directors Jared’s met and worked with would have balked at the idea of having a security guard standing around his stage, looking conspicuous. Most of them would have called up the production company and had Jared fired on the spot.

Not Christian Kane, though; Christian had taken the whole thing in stride when Jensen had informed him of Ty’s presence on set, told him it only made sense.

“Yeah,” Christian agrees, “I mean, you hear ‘bodyguard’, you expect someone in a black suit and Aviators, a wire running into their ear as they stand off to the side with their hands folded in front of their crotch and watch everything like it’s going to kick off at any second. But, Ty, man, he’s cool. Actually talks to people, acts like he’s a person and not a robot. Still does his job, but he’s not all about his job, you know?”

Jared sits up a little so that he can see Christian clearly past Chad. “Dude, it’s not even four in the afternoon; how much have you had to drink?”

Chad laughs. “He’s stone cold sober, man. Just gets like this sometimes, when he doesn’t have anything to think about, worry about.”

“You should have seen him at Christmas,” Genevieve adds, “I thought he was stoned.” She lets out a little squeak and runs back to the stove, turning down the heat on whatever it is she’s making to go with her chili and the guys fall back into whatever comfortable silence they had going before Jared interrupted to ask about the movie.

He still doesn’t understand anything that’s going on within the movie, but he doesn’t really feel the need to ask about it now; he’s just killing time until he can have some of Genevieve’s delicious smelling food.

There’s a pounding at the front door, like someone hammering the side of their fist against the wood and instantly, all four of them are on alert.

“What the fuck?!” Christian yells as he jumps to his feet, all traces of sleepiness gone. “How the hell did someone get past the front gate? Never mind Jensen’s private gate.”

Jared’s having trouble catching his breath as he looks at each of his three friends in turn. Genevieve looks terrified, her hand reaching for her phone in the back pocket of her jeans, while Christian looks murderous and Chad’s blinking around like he’s completely confused.

Suddenly, Christian leaps forward, his steps determined as he makes his way to the front door.

“Chris!” Jared calls after him, following quickly and Oscar gives a yip as he scampers out of the way.

“No, Jared, if that bastard’s at the front door, I’m putting an end to this once and for all.”

Ordinarily, Jared would be touched at the show of protectiveness from someone he’s known less than two weeks, but he’s too busy dealing with the fear and maybe even a little bit of hope that it’s the stalker standing on the doorstep. Jared could be seconds away from finding out why, seconds away from it all being over, one way or another.

But as Christian throws open the front door, it’s not the stalker standing on the other side; or, if it is the stalker, he didn’t come alone, he brought back up with him, including two uniformed police officers, but it’s not them that have Jared’s attention, it’s the two people in plain clothes standing front and center.

The cops – one male, one female and both about Jared’s age – are holding their badges out so that Christian can see them clearly, but it’s not Christian they’re looking for.

“Jared Padalecki?” the male cop asks and Christian shakes his head, taking a step back and nodding his head in Jared’s direction.

The female cop takes a step back as soon as Jared’s been identified and the two uniformed guys walk into the house.

One of them is pulling handcuffs from his belt. 

“Jared Padalecki,” male plain-clothes says brusquely, “you’re under arrest for the rape and sexual assault of Anthony Wallace.”

Jared doesn’t really hear what he says next, assumes he’s reading Jared his rights; he’s just too busy trying not to throw up and keeping his legs from giving out from under him.

Dimly, he’s aware that Chad and Christian are arguing with the cops, Genevieve is crying somewhere to his left, but it’s like it’s all underwater, like Jared is hearing it all from really, really far away.

“Let’s go,” someone says and Jared gets yanked painfully by one arm.

“Where are you taking him?” Chad asks, following them outside to – fuck – to the waiting police car. 

“Hey!” Christian yells when his husband’s question goes unanswered. “He has the right to a lawyer, now where the fuck are you taking him?!”

“West LA,” someone snaps and Jared feels himself start to shake.

“Call Jensen,” he says, his voice sounding odd and detached even to his own ears.

“We’re right behind you, man,” Christian assures, “Gen’s already on the phone. We’ll see you down there soon, get this whole mess straightened out.”

Genevieve comes out the front door, her phone pressed to her ear. “Jared, don’t answer any questions or speak to anyone until the lawyer gets there. Just keep your mouth shut, Jay. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

“The letters,” Jared says suddenly, struggling against the hands trying to bundle him into the back of a police car, “they’re upstairs, in the bedroom, in an old shoebox. This has to have something to do with this guy.”

Chad turns on his heel and runs back into the house and then Jared is being pushed into the back of the car and then they’re moving, taking off for the goddamn precinct and when did Jared’s life get so fucking complicated?

The car turns onto the main drag, turning away from Jensen’s upscale neighborhood when Jared realizes he’s not wearing any shoes.

///

“You sure this is what you want?” Danneel asks him as they both watch Jeff amend Jared’s contract, removing the clause about a limited number of shoots or movies and adding some other stuff about the web series.

Jensen shrugs his shoulders. “I want him to be safe, Danni, and he can’t be safe right now, not when he’s driving all over the city shooting. Friday was too close a call for all of us.”

He shivers as he remembers catching a glimpse of the twink from Danneel’s office, peeking out from behind the back of that generator. He can still remember the choking fear he’d felt, thinking the stalker had gotten so close without any of them noticing.

“I could just void the whole contract. I’ll even let him keep the cash,” Danneel offers and Jensen smiles gratefully.

“Thanks, but you know Jared; there’s no way he would go for that.”

Danneel rolls her eyes. “Yeah, you certainly found yourself a decent guy when it comes to morals and work ethic. Which is good, because for a while there, Gen and I thought that you might end up in some sort of weird threesome relationship with Chad and Christian. I really didn’t want to have to do the intervention on that.”

Jensen throws his head back as laughter rips through him, the idea alone enough to have him chuckling for hours.

“Thank you so much for those mental images,” Jeff grouches from Danneel’s couch and that just makes Jensen laugh even more.

Danneel’s cellphone rings just as Jeff gets to his feet, dropping the revised contract into Jensen’s lap.

“You sure you don’t want Jared to look this over? Kinda doesn’t feel right, changing his contract without him here to witness it. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.” He’s looking at Jensen with a knowing gaze, his eyes narrow and his lips pulled tight and Jensen just nods.

“Jared knows what’s going on; I just don’t want him leaving the house if he doesn’t have to right now.”

“Something going on, Jensen? Is Jared okay?”

“He’s…going through some stuff,” he answers as diplomatically as possible. He knows Jeff is asking out of concern, but this is Jared’s business; telling Danneel and the others was one thing, they’re – hopefully – Jared’s friends. Jeff’s barely more than a stranger. “If it’ll make you feel better, I can have Jared come into the office tomorrow and you can talk him through this?”

Jeff nods. “Yeah, I think that-”

He’s cut off by Danneel’s scream and Jensen jumps to his feet, spinning around to face her, finding her white as a sheet, her hand pressed to her mouth.

“Danni!”

“Jared’s been arrested!” she screams, her voice pitched high. “For _rape_ , Jensen! What the hell?!”

Jensen’s heart is beating so fast he can’t hear anything over the sound of it and he feels like he’s going to be sick.

This…this can’t be real, can’t be happening. 

Jared isn’t supposed to get arrested, Jared’s supposed to be standing there next to Jensen while they watch the fucking stalker getting arrested, this…this just doesn’t even make sense.

“Where,” he chokes out, “where did they take him?”

“West LA,” Danneel tells him, her voices tight with emotion. “Gen says he’s terrified.”

Jensen just nods, because he can see in his mind’s eye, the completely devastated look on Jared’s face as he was bundled into the back of a police car.

A harsh sob escapes Jensen throat and then he’s in motion, turning back to Jeff.

“Can you come with me to the precinct? He needs a lawyer.”

Jeff shakes his head, looking totally shell shocked. “I…Jensen, I’m a contracts lawyer, I have no idea where to even start with criminal cases, never mind one for rape.”

Jensen feels something wrench in his chest. “Jeff, he needs help. He didn’t do this. There’s no way he did this.”

There’s no way his sweet, loving, scared-of-his-own-shadow Jared could be capable of something like this.

“I…I have a friend – well, a friend of Hilarie’s actually. She’s good, the best. I’ll call her and have her meet you down there.”

Jensen just nods, dismissing him as he races for the door.

Danneel’s on his heels he notices as he reaches the elevator. There are tear tracks staining her face when he turns to look at her and she stares back defiantly.

“Not only did I drive you here, dipshit, but if you think I’m leaving you to go through this alone, you’ve clearly lost your mind.”

Jensen’s too grateful to form words, so he just lets her enter the elevator before him, sucking in a deep breath as he pushes the button for the parking garage with a shaking finger.

The elevator ride is silent save for Danneel’s cussing as she digs through her oversized purse, looking for the keys to her red Lexus with no apparent luck.

Jensen leaves her to her search as the elevator dings and the doors slide open, revealing the darkened garage and he thinks about maybe getting her a metal detector or a Maglite for Christmas to help her out with those fucking Mary Poppins’ bags she insists on toting around.

There’s a low grunt from behind him followed by the sound of the contents of Danneel’s purse hitting the floor and Jensen rolls his eyes, losing patience.

“Seriously, Danneel, I’m just gonna hotwire your fucking car if you don’t-” 

The rest of the sentence dies on Jensen’s tongue as he takes in the scene in front of him.

Danneel on the floor, face down on the cold concrete, blood matting her hair to her head and her eyes closed. She’s so still and Jensen doesn’t know what to do because he doesn’t know what happened and he’s finding it really hard not to panic right now.

His hands shaking harder than ever, he reaches for the phone in his inside jacket pocket.

Jensen’s hands never reach his phone.

**Chapter 10**

Jared stares at the two-way mirror behind the male cop’s head.

Oh, sorry, Detective Cohen, as he’d introduced himself. Jared doesn’t give a fuck what his name is, or his partner’s, he just wants the lawyer to hurry up and get there so that he can get out and bury himself in Jensen’s arms for the next twenty-four hours.

“Jared, seriously, this would go a lot smoother if you would just cooperate,” Cohen says, sound exasperated.

“And I told you I’m not saying anything until my lawyer gets here,” Jared retorts.

“Look, why don’t you just give us your side of this?” the female cop – Detective Gumenick, Jared remembers – offers as she pushes herself off the wall she’s been leaning against. “Maybe this is all just a case of misunderstanding? I mean, maybe you didn’t know he wasn’t agreeing to your little…fumble.”

Cohen nods in agreement with his partner. “Yeah, I mean, we know what it’s like, guys in your line of work. I guess you think everyone’s like you, huh?”

Jared narrows his eyes. “Like me?”

“Yeah, up for it all the time, that demand that you can take what you want because this is what you do for a living.”

“I’m in a serious relationship.” Jared spits the words so harshly he’s surprised neither of the detectives gets cut from the sharpness. “Just because I fuck on screen for a living doesn’t mean I think I can just take it from whoever I want any time I want.”

“No,” Cohen counters, “you get it on a film set every day, isn’t that right, _PJ_? Is that what happened? Is this a scene that went wrong?”

“There was no scene! I’ve never even _heard_ of this Anthony Wallace guy! I’ve never met him!”

Gumenick snorts. “Well, he sure knows you. The statement he gave was very thorough. He was able to describe you…intimately.”

Jared resists the urge to roll his eyes. “I’m a porn star. Type my name into Google and you’d be able to describe me intimately, too.”

“Fine,” Cohen crosses his arms and rests them on the tabletop. “If you think you’re so innocent then you won’t mind telling us where you were last Thursday night, between the hours of ten-thirty and midnight?”

Jared pauses for less than a heartbeat before a slow smile spreads across his lips.

Cohen looks enraged. “I’m sorry, Mr. Padalecki, but would you mind telling us what you find funny about raping an innocent, vulnerable man?”

“I didn’t rape anybody,” Jared hisses through clenched teeth.

“Jared, stop talking, right now,” says a tiny blonde woman who breezes through the door of the interview room.

“Who the hell are you?” Gumenick asks, darting forward to block the newcomer’s path.

“Kristen Bell, Mr. Padalecki’s lawyer,” she says sharply, her tone brooking no argument. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like a few minutes alone with my client.”

“He didn’t ask for a lawyer,” Cohen says with a derisive snort, turning his back to her to glare at Jared again.

“That’s a lie,” Jared says, his voice taking on an amused lilt, because he knows it won’t be long before he’s getting out of here.

“Don’t worry, Jared,” Ms. Bell says as she pulls out the chair next to his and sits down, briefcase on the table in front of her, “that little trick is Matt’s specialty. He tries it with everyone he gets into this room.”

“That’s Detective Cohen, to you,” Cohen sneers.

“And I’d still like some time with my client, so why don’t you take your little friend and wait outside?”

Gumenick is already at the door, pulling it open and leaving the room without so much as a backward glance, but Cohen watches them both as he leaves, his eyes full of contempt as he tries to stare Jared down.

Jared just stares back, that same smirk still on his face, happy that it seems to rile Cohen up even further.

“And if I catch either of you listening or watching through that two-way,” Ms. Bell say, stalling Cohen before he has the door closed, “I’ll hit you with a lawsuit so fast it’ll make your head spin.”

Cohen’s jaw clenches tight and he slams the door with more force than Jared thinks is needed.

As soon as both detectives are gone, the lawyer moves her chair, shuffling around until she isn’t as visible to the two way mirror and motions with her hands for Jared to do the same.

“Ms. Bell,” he starts as soon as he’s finished rearranging himself, and she interrupts him with a wave of her hand.

“Kristin,” she corrects, “Jeff told me that you’re part of JADA’s crew, and I know he thinks highly of everyone over there, so we’ll skip the formalities.”

“Where is Jeff?” Jared had been expecting Jeff to walk through the door, if for no other reason than he was the only lawyer he’d ever met since moving to Jensen’s studio.

“Jeff isn’t really qualified to deal with this type of case, so he sent me. Don’t worry, I’m very good at my job.”

The way she came in and dealt with the cops, Jared has no doubts about that.

Kristin opens her briefcase and takes out a yellow legal pad and a pen, balancing the pad on her lap, her pen poised as she smiles a comforting smile at Jared. “Now, why don’t you tell me what the hell is going on here? All Jeff could give me was that you’d been arrested for rape and that there’s no possible way that you did it.”

“I didn’t do it,” Jared assures and Kristin just purses her lips.

Kristin gives him an assessing look and Jared starts to wonder if everything he’s heard about defense lawyers was true; how they didn’t care about whether or not their client was guilty, they just wanted to get them off the hook.

“Okay, who are you accused of raping?”

“I don’t know; some guy called Anthony Wallace,” Jared tells her, his heart picking up speed again as he thinks about the possibility of spending the rest of his life in jail.

“And do you know this man?”

“No, I’ve never met him, but…” he trails off with a sigh and Kristin looks up from her writing.

“But?”

“I’m being stalked,” Jared says, his facing flushing with embarrassment, “it’s been going on for the better part of two years. I was planning on filing a police report this week.”

“And you think this accusation has something to do with that?”

“He’s been stepping up his game because I’ve recently become involved with someone, a relationship.”

“And it’s serious?” Kristin presses, taking more notes.

“Yes, and this guy isn’t happy about it. He’s already threatened Jensen through a letter once.”

“Do you know this man’s name?”

“No, he…I…I’ve come to the conclusion that we’ve met at some point before the stalking started, but I’ve no idea how or when or what I did to fuel this delusion of his.”

“Do you have any evidence of this stalking?”

Jared nods his head, his bangs falling into his eyes. “Yeah, I have all the letters he’s sent. Over thirty of them.”

The lawyer purses her lips again. “Alright, we’ll deal with that issue later, after we get you out of this bogus rape charge. Now, did they say when this was so-called rape was supposed to have taken place?”

“They asked me where I was last Thursday between ten-thirty and midnight.”

“I’m assuming by that gleeful look on your face that you have an alibi?”

“I was on set, filming.”

Jared’s gleeful look is echoed on Kristin’s face and she stands up, walking across the door and pulling it open.

The two detectives are waiting outside, their arms folded across their chests in an almost identical pose and Jared has to stifle a laugh even as he wonders how long they’ve been partners.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to get on with this so that I can have Jared and myself home in time for dinner,” Kristin calls to them as she sits back down.

Cohen rolls his eyes. “Your client isn’t going anywhere, Ms. Bell, except to central booking and then a night in the cells unless he can come up with bail.”

“I’m sure bail wouldn’t be a problem for Mr. Padalecki, but seeing as how he has a rock solid alibi, I don’t think it’s going to be needed.”

The smug look falls from Cohen’s face and he stares hard at Jared again.

“Alright, Mr. Padalecki,” Gumenick starts, “where were you last Thursday-”

Jared doesn’t let her finish. “I was a hundred and fifty miles away from here, at a country house belonging to a friend of my partner.”

“Convenient,” Cohen spits. “And do you have anyone who can corroborate that?”

“Jensen Ackles, my-”

This time, it’s Cohen who interrupts. “Your boyfriend. Forgive me, Padalecki, if I don’t take the word of a porn mogul over that of a naïve victim.”

Jared smiles. “I haven’t finished. Jensen Ackles was there, and he is my boyfriend, yes. But we weren’t alone.”

Cohen rolls his eyes and Gumenick’s nose wrinkles in what looks like disgust.

“You people are all alike,” Cohen says, his voice full of contempt, “with your perverted sex lives.”

“I was working,” Jared almost shouts, having had enough of Cohen’s bigotry and he’s satisfied when a blank look falls over the detectives’ faces. “You know, on set, filming. I was surrounded by camera men and sound guys and the makeup girl and the girls who run the catering truck and my director and my director’s husband, my boyfriend, my bodyguard, oh, and not to mention, my co-star, who had my dick up his ass from seven in the evening until well after eleven.”

Clearly uncomfortable, Cohen cleared his throat. “I assume, um, that you can provide evidence of this?”

Jared sniggers. “Just call up the studio, they’ll have the dailies, all of which are dated and time coded.”

“You’ll need a warrant, of course,” Kristin butts in and Gumenick nods her head before she leans forward and whispers in her partner’s ear.

Cohen grunts. “Mr. Padalecki, do you have any idea why someone would want to frame you for something like this? This man went into a lot of detail when he was giving his statement.”

Jared can’t help but notice that neither of the cops offered him an apology for his situation, but he doesn’t really know if he expected one and he simply shifts in his chair, trying to get a little more comfortable before he speaks.

Kristin surprises him by speaking up before him. “Mr. Padalecki has been dealing with a stalker for the past two years. Over the last several weeks, this man has upped his game by threatening his partner. We’re under no illusions that this man is behind this ridiculous accusation.”

Jared blinks at her. She’s talking like she’s known about this all along, like they’ve spoken about it at length in the past and she’s making even Jared believe her.

“When you say you’re being stalked,” Gumenick presses, “what exactly do you mean?”

“Letters mostly, hand delivered to wherever I’m living, nothing more on the envelope but my name.”

“You’re real name? Not the one you use for porn?”

“My real name, yeah. I’ve moved about six times in the last two years, but he’s tracked me down every time. About two months ago, I decided to leave New York, where I’ve lived for my entire career, and move out here, hoping that would be the end of it.”

Cohen swallows hard. “Given this conversation, I’m going to assume he found you.”

Jared nods. “Just over a week ago, he left a letter with the concierge of the hotel I was staying at. That was the letter that threatened my boyfriend, Jensen.”

“You still have this letter?”

“I have all of them, I asked my friend Chad to bring them down here.”

Cohen nods and gets to his feet. “Alright, Amy, you go look into those with Mr. Padalecki and his lawyer; I’m going to go have a conversation with Mr. Wallace.”

Jared lets out a relieved sigh and collapses back against his chair. “Fuck, for a second there I thought I wasn’t going to get out of this.”

Kristin claps him on the shoulder. “I don’t defend guilty men, Jared. Jeff was certain that you weren’t capable of something like this, and I have more faith in Jeff than just about anybody. I wasn’t going to let you go down for this.”

“Thank you,” Jared says, his voice full of sincerity as he reaches out to shake her hand. “Can you send whatever paperwork that’s needed to Jensen’s office? Your bill and anything else?”

Kristin gives him a tight smile. “Let’s just get everything else sorted out first before we start talking about my payment, Jared.”

Jared frowns. “Everything else?”

The lawyer nods her head towards the open door of the interview room, where Detective Gumenick is waiting for them, looking impatient, and Jared feels his stomach drop a little. “Right, everything else.” He turns a pleading look to Kristin. “What’s going to happen here? How do the cops even deal with a stalker if I don’t know his name or what he looks like?”

Kristin shrugs. “Let’s go find out.”

Detective Gumenick leads them back to the waiting area of the precinct. There are a lot of people bustling around the area, some of them crowding the front desk, yelling and screaming at the cop behind the counter, asking about friends and loved ones, while others are sitting on benches, chewing nervously on their fingernails.

“Jared!” Genevieve spots him first, bouncing up from where she’s been sitting on Christian’s lap due to a lack of space and throwing herself into his arms. “Are they letting you go? They’re letting you go, right? Because you didn’t do this, I know you didn’t do this.”

“They’re letting me go,” Jared confirms. “Or they will, I just have to talk to the detectives about the stalker. I don’t know how long that’s gonna take.”

“Here, man,” Chad says, stepping out from behind Christian. He holds a canvas bag out to Jared. “The letters are all in there, but I also brought your wallet and your cell phone and some shoes.”

Jared sniggers as he looks down at his socked-feet, gratefully pulling the black Converse out of the bag as well as the box of letters.

“Here,” he says to Gumenick, “that’s everything.”

She smiles tightly as she takes the box. “And you say this started two years ago?”

“A little bit less than that, but yes.”

“Alright, I’ll be back in a few minutes; don’t anybody go anywhere.”

Sighing, Jared takes Chad’s seat on the bench to put his shoes on. Kristin makes noises about stepping outside to take a phone call and Jared takes a second to take in the people around him.

“Hey, where are Jensen and Danneel?”

He feels a little guilty that he didn’t notice that they were missing before now, but he supposes in the excitement of actually being let go without charges went to his head.

Genevieve whips around to face him. “What? I thought Jensen was in with you and Danni had stayed behind because they were in the middle of something important.”

Jared forgets about tying his shoes and focuses his attention on the petit brunette. “I haven’t seen Jensen since he left for the office this morning.”

Genevieve’s eyes grow wide. “Danneel isn’t answering her cell phone.”

“What?” Christian practically growls the word, “why didn’t you say something?”

“Uh, because we were all a little preoccupied with Jared being _arrested_ , that’s why!”

Ignoring both of them as they continue to snipe at each other, Jared rifles through the canvas back until his fingers grip his cellphone, pulling it out and glancing at the screen.

“Hey, Jensen sent me a picture message,” he says, feeling slightly relieved as soon as he see Jensen’s name on the screen.

That feeling of relief vanishes seconds later and turns into a horrifying nausea as the photo sent from Jensen’s phone pops up on Jared’s screen.

It’s terrifyingly clear that Jensen didn’t send the message, since he’s tied stark naked to a wrought iron bed that Jared doesn’t recognize.

“Jay?” Chad calls, his eyes full of worry as he takes in the expression on Jared’s face.

Jared simply throws the cellphone at him and races to the nearest trash can, emptying his stomach completely of its contents.

“Detective!” Christian yells above the din of the waiting area and Genevieve lets out a yell.

Jared wipes his mouth when he’s finished throwing up, returning to his full height to see the panicked looks on the faces of his friends. 

Chad and Christian are pushing their way to the front of the line at the counter, demanding to talk to the detectives who had been interviewing Jared, while Genevieve has her phone pressed to her ear, tears streaming down her face as she locks eyes with Jared.

“Danni!” she screams, fumbling a little as she tries to turn on the speakerphone. “Danneel?”

Danneel lets out a low moan, sounding tired and out of it and it makes Jared’s stomach clench.

“Danneel? Baby?” Genevieve tries again.

_“Gen,”_ Danneel manages, her voice a low grumble. _“What…what happened?”_

“That doesn’t matter right now,” Genevieve says with a hitched breath. “Can you tell me where you are?”

_“Um…parking garage. At the office. My car’s still here.”_

“Oh, baby, that’s good, you’re doing so good, we’re gonna be there real soon to get you, okay?” Genevieve’s trying to be soothing, trying not to panic Danneel with her distress, but Jared can see that her eyes are shining with tears and her hand is shaking where she’s holding the phone out so that he can hear.

_“There’s…blood,”_ Danneel mumbles, _“lotta blood.”_

Jared feels like throwing up again.

“Where the hell is my supposed rape victim?!” Detective Cohen’s voice carried easily over the din of the waiting room and Jared gets a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“The stalker has Jensen,” he says before he can stop himself, flinching slightly when everyone turns to face him.

“What are you talking about?” Cohen ascends on him.

Jared scrapes his fingers through his hair. “I told you he was the one behind this…this ridiculous allegation. He knew where I was Thursday night because he always knows exactly where I am! Fuck, why didn’t I think of this before?!”

“This was all a distraction?” Christian said, his voice a hoarse whisper.

“Yeah, I think so,” Jared agrees, but Cohen’s waving his arms in the air.

“Wait just a goddamn minute, none of you knows shit about what’s going on here.”

“No, Jared’s right,” Chad argues. “That’s why he did all this. He got Jared and the rest of us out of the way so that he could get to Jensen. That way, the only one he had to deal with was Danneel.”

Cohen frowns. “Who’s Danneel?”

Jared rolls his eyes, because now is not the time to be jumping into explanations about Jensen’s relationship with Danneel.

“She’s my girlfriend,” Genevieve says instead, her hands still gripping the phone, “and she’s lying alone and injured in some dirty parking lot and if someone doesn’t get an ambulance to her right the fuck now, I’m going to start going for people’s guns.”

“The stalker wanted to get to Jensen,” Jared explains to the detective carefully, “with us busy down here with you guys, the only one he had to deal with was Danneel, and now she’s hurt and Jensen’s missing and will one of you just fucking do something?!”

“Stop,” Cohen practically shouts, “all off you just stop with the panic and tell me what you know.”

Chad thrusts Jared’s cellphone in the man’s face. “This is what we know, jackass. This psycho has my best friend. My other best friend is maybe bleeding to death in a parking lot and you’re standing here trying to prove that your dick is bigger than Jared’s, which, I highly doubt, by the way.”

Jared thinks he’s starting to understand why Chad decided he needed to be the one in charge of Jensen’s life.

“This was sent from your partner’s phone?” Cohen asks and Jared takes a few seconds to reply because he can’t understand why that would be important.

“Uh, yeah. I don’t know when because you had me stuck in that room for two hours.” 

“Does it have GPS?”

“It’s Jensen’s phone, how the fuck should I know if it has GPS or not?”

Cohen just nods and turns to one of the uniformed officers that are milling around seemingly aimlessly. “Get this to the tech lab. I want a trace sent up on this number right now, last known location.”

“Yes, sir.” The uniform scurries off.

“Gumenick, get an ambulance down to that parking lot and take a patrol car with you. I want this woman’s statement as soon as she’s conscious and I want around the clock protection on her in case whoever attacked her comes back to finish the job.”

Gumenick nods and heads for the door.

“I’m going with you,” Genevieve shouts, running after the female detective.

“Ma’am, I really don’t think that’s wise,” Gumenick counters.

“Fuck wise, you think I’m going to leave her alone right now to find out from a bunch of people she doesn’t know that her best friend was kidnapped right in front of her? She’s going to freak out and blame herself and you’re fucking high if you think I’m just gonna sit here and let you cement that theory.”

Jared watches as the detectives share a look over the top of Genevieve’s head, and Cohen finally relents, allowing Gumenick to relay his small nod to the worrying woman.

“Chris, go with her,” Chad says calmly.

“Chad…”

“I’ll stay here with Jared, but you know that she’s not going to cope at the hospital by herself, especially not if they don’t allow her in with Danni when she’s being treated.” 

“I don’t like leaving you here alone.”

Chad snorts. “Christian, come on, I’m in a police station, what’s gonna happen to me? Besides, there’s nothing for you to do here with us except worry, and I’m gonna bet the farm on the fact that we’ll be down at that hospital with you guys, getting Jensen. checked over, before Danneel’s even stopped bitching about the backless gown they’ll make her wear.”

Despite the joke, Jared can’t seem to conjure up much optimism at Chad’s words and he wishes he could find that confidence.

Instead, he drops down onto one of the hard benches along the wall, turning his eyes away as Chad and Christian share a heartfelt goodbye and tries not to think about saying goodbye to Jensen for good.

///

When Jensen swims back to reality, the first thing he notices is that there’s something tied around his head, cutting off his vision.

The second thing he notices is the coldness of the room ghosting over his naked body and the wet, stickiness on the back of his head.

The third and fourth things he notices are that he’s naked and tied to something by his hands and feet.

Jensen knows instantly what’s going on, knows that the stalker is making good on his promise to make Jensen appear worthless to Jared.

“So, this is your big plan, huh?” he says to the room. “You kidnap me and then…what? Cut me up? Disfigure me so that Jared doesn’t want me anymore? Is that it?”

“Maybe,” says a disembodied voice somewhere to Jensen’s right. “But I know Jared. I’ve seen some of the guys he’s fucked in the name of his job. He’d probably just believe that it’s inner beauty that counts and take you back anyway.”

Jensen snorts. “Take me back? What, like this is all my idea?”

“Well, you were the one to pursue a relationship with Jared, despite clearly knowing he was taken.”

“Right, because the fact that you haven’t so much as kissed Jared doesn’t really enter into this whole relationship you’ve conjured up in your head.”

The bed Jensen’s tied to shakes violently. “Our relationship transcends sex and other pleasures of the flesh. What, you think that Jared wants to go home after fucking onset all day just to fuck some more?”

Jensen smirks in satisfaction despite the situation. “He certainly wasn’t complaining last night.” He frowns beneath his blindfold. “At least, I think it was last night. How long have I been unconscious?”

Thoughts of being unconscious lead him back to Danneel, left alone on the floor of the parking garage.

She’s probably woken up by now, realized Jensen’s missing. He knows that they’ll all assume the same thing – that the stalker has taken him – and they’d be right. Jensen just hopes that no one decides to blame Jared for this, because it’s not his fault, not even a little.

“Just because Jared slept with you doesn’t mean he thinks anything of you,” the stalker says, a wobble to his voice that wasn’t there before, “he probably just wants to make sure he doesn’t lose his job.”

“I didn’t hire Jared. Danneel did. His contract is with her and I have no control over whether he has a job or not with our studio, so you can toss that theory out the window.”

There’s silence in the room and Jensen can’t believe he’s provoking this guy, but he can’t seem to help himself. His defensive instincts are kicking in and all he can think about is making it out of this in one piece so that he can see Jared’s bright smile again.

He’d blame the head trauma for turning him into a sentimental moron, but he knows that happened right around the time he took Jared home that first Friday.

“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter about the lies you spread about Jared, doesn’t matter what you have to tell Jared to make him feel good about the fact that he’s nothing but a cheap whore, it still doesn’t stop him being what he is!”

“Cheap? Jared’s worth about seventeen million dollars, you fucking moron!”

“Blood money,” the guy sneers, “made off of the ideals of perverted men like you.”

“If Jared’s nothing more than a whore, why do you even wanna be with him?”

“Why do you?” the stalker counters.

Jensen huffs. “Because unlike you, I know that it’s just a job. This is Jared’s living, he wasn’t forced into this, he chose it and I’m okay with that, and, more importantly, so is he!”

“He’s fucked hundreds of men, probably thousands, I know, I’ve seen everything he’s ever made.”

“Yeah? Well, you wanna know what I know? It doesn’t matter how many men Jared has fucked, I know that he’s only ever been fucked by one guy. There’s only one guy that he trusts enough to open himself up like that, to be vulnerable like that, and that man wasn’t you!”

Jensen’s voice echoes dully around the room and Jensen takes a second to wonder just where exactly he is, before he remembers that it probably wasn’t a good idea to forget about the madman holding him hostage.

“You fucked him? _You fucked him?!_ ”

The words are screamed, forced out of a throat so torn with anger and hatred that Jensen wonders how it’s still in one piece.

A hand wraps around Jensen’s throat when he stays silent, squeezing roughly and Jensen gasps for air, spots appearing even in the darkness behind the blindfold.

“You fucked him?” The words are growled low in his ear and Jensen can smell the stale breath of the man who’s holding him.

“It’s his preference,” Jensen grinds out, struggling against his restrains. “He only tops for the camera.”

The man’s hand vanishes as quickly as it appears. “But that…but that’s not right. It can’t be right. I’ve seen him top, I know he likes to top.”

“Not in private. He tops for work,” Jensen gasps, sucking in air.

There’s a part of Jensen that’s screaming at him to shut his fucking mouth, to not provoke this guy anymore.

But then he wonders, how much worse can it really get? This guy is not going to let him go easily; he’s going to draw this out, whatever it is that he’s got planned for Jensen and Jensen knows that he probably won’t come out of this in one piece, so he might as well fight back with as much as he can.

And anyway, his insane need to protect and defend Jared and any and all costs is raging more than ever. This… _freak_ is just another guy in a long line of guys in Jared’s life who don’t know him at all. Even someone who claims to love and know Jared better than anyone doesn’t know the first thing about him and it all just makes Jensen sad, sad that these people can’t be bothered to see behind the onscreen persona and find out just how truly amazing Jared really is, and if Jensen lives through this, he promises himself that he’s going to spend the rest of his life making sure that Jared knows that.

“I’ve seen him top.” The stalker’s still mumbling away in the background, oblivious to Jensen’s inner musings. “I know he likes to top, I saw him fuck Milo a thousand times. ‘Course, neither of them knew I was watching, ‘cause they wouldn’t have let me watch; Jared’s always so shy and reserved. He doesn’t like people seeing him being intimate with someone. ‘S why I didn’t want him to go into porn in the first place.”

Something clicks in Jensen’s head, something that should have occurred to him before now, something that Chad brought up that weekend Jared told them everything.

“You know him,” he says in a harsh whisper, his head cocked in the direction he thinks the psycho is in. “You know Jared, you’re a friend of his, someone he…oh, my God.” Jensen cuts himself off because he can feel the bile rising at the back of his throat and he’s seconds away from throwing up.

This man, this… _madman_ is someone Jared trusts, someone he’s known for twelve, fifteen years and Jensen just can’t take it, can’t the thought that someone close to Jared could do something like this to him.

This guy terrified Jared with his letters and threats and taunts, and all along he was someone who…what? Had Jared been running to this guy? Confiding in him?

Jensen’s stomach rolls all over again.

“I had to protect him,” the stalker goes on, closer to Jensen’s position on the bed now, his voice taking a more hysterical tone with every word, “he needed to know that there was always someone there, looking out for him, looking after him.”

“Why now? The way you’re talking about him, it sounds like you’ve known Jared for years. Why start with this bullshit now?”

“Oh, see, that was all your fault, you and your flirting at that bar. Jared couldn’t stop talking about you for _weeks_ afterwards. He was always wondering how he could track you down, if he even should. You have no idea how long it took me to talk him out of that.”

“And so you started sending him letters?” Jensen asks. “What were you protecting him from with those?”

“I needed him to know how I felt! And he needed to know that there was someone out there who cared about him! Someone who was right there! Not some dream on the other side of the fucking country!”

“You tortured him!” Jensen screams, straining against his bonds. “He moved all the way across the country to escape you! Doesn’t that tell you something?”

There’s the sound of fabric rustling and Jensen imagines the guy shrugging. “I think he knew, deep down. Knew it was me behind the letters. I mean, why else would he tell me he was moving here? Why else would he have asked me to come with him?”

Jensen pauses, trying to think about the people Jared has mentioned since they’ve known each other. He knows that Jared has cut himself off from a lot of his friends, scared about them finding out about the stalker and seeing it as a sign of weakness on Jared’s part.

But there was that one guy, the friend, the one who helped Jared with his fan mail, what was his name…

Tony.

Tim.

Dammit.

“I’ve decided I don’t want to talk anymore,” the guys says, pulling Jensen away from his thoughts and Jensen starts as the bed dips beneath him.

Jensen tries his best to move away, even though he can’t really tell where the guy actually is. “What the hell does that mean?”

But his question went ignored. “I’ve changed my mind. I was going to show Jared that you weren’t right for him, show him that you just wanted him to fuck you; that you’d give it up for any cock in sight.”

Jensen struggles against something being pushed into his mouth, grunting and twisting when he feels the two pills sitting on his tongue.

“Stay fucking still,” the guy barks at him, pressing down on the hinge of Jensen’s jaw until his mouth opens.

He chokes on the stale water that’s poured into his mouth, chokes harder when his mouth is forced closed and the guy holds his nose, cutting off his air, until Jensen has no choice but to swallow the water in his mouth so that he’s able to breath – and the pills along with it.

“What the fuck? What the hell did you give me?”

There’s a dirty sounding chuckle as the guy gets off the bed again. “Just something to help make sure that you’re, uh, able to join in the festivities I have planned for us.”

Jensen feels all the color drain from his face. He knows what’s going on, what the guy has given to him and what it means is going to happen in the next few minutes.

It only takes Viagra a few minutes to kick in, right? At least, that’s what Jensen’s heard. He’s thirty-five years old, for fuck’s sake; it’s not like he ever needed it!

“Of course, I brought the stuff for me,” Jensen’s kidnapper goes on. “I’m not one for topping, see, so I figured I’d need a little _help_ for when we got to that part of our day. But now you’ve made us change our plans, so I guess everyone’s happy.” There’s another sadistic laugh and the sound of it makes Jensen’s skin crawl. “Well, not you, of course, Jensen, but maybe there’s something I can do about that.”

There’s a sharp prick in Jensen’s arm. “What the hell was that? What are you giving me?!”

“Just something to keep you calm, Jensen, there’s no need to panic. Can’t have you wiggling around and pulling against those restraints now can we? You might do yourself some serious harm.”

Everything starts to get a little fuzzy around the edges of Jensen’s perception and his head feels like it’s full of cotton and that’s not right.

The bed dips as the guy climbs on, straddling Jensen’s thighs, one knee either side of his hips as far as Jensen can tell. His head is starting to feel like he down twelve shots of tequila and then went on a merry-go-round.

The sound of a tube being clicked open echoes loudly and Jensen knows he should be trying to struggle, but his arms just feel so _heavy_ , like lead weight have been tied to his wrists.

The sound of breaking glass reaches Jensen’s ears and he wonders if the drugs this guy gave him are supposed to make him hallucinate, because he’s now he’s hearing footsteps and he tries to force his eyes open, even behind the blindfold.

“What the hell?!” 

There are loud noises coming from somewhere, people shouting and Jensen doesn’t think he’s hallucinating anymore as the bed dips again and the kidnapper stands up.

“What…how…how did they find me?! They’re not supposed to find me, it’s not time yet!”

Jensen feels himself drifting, words aren’t as clear as they should be and he knows he should be worried, all these drugs in his system and the head wound that he thinks is still bleeding, but it’s like his brain doesn’t want to work anymore and Jensen just lets go.

“I’m sorry, Jensen. But I can’t let you tell Jared anything about this. I really am sorry; it wasn’t supposed to go down this way.”

There’s a loud bang, louder than anything that Jensen’s heard up until now, including the people shouting in the other room. 

He feels a weird pressure in his shoulder, something warm and wet spilling onto his chest.

And then Jensen feels nothing at all.

**Chapter 11**

Jared leans against the wall outside of the curtained-off cubical with Chad and Christian and waits for Genevieve to reappear and tell them how Danneel is.

It hadn’t taken long after Genevieve and Christian had left with Detective Gumenick and the other cops before Jared and Chad realized that there was nothing for them to do at the police station; everyone was ignoring them and not answering any questions they asked, and while Jared knew it was better that they were all focused completely on finding Jensen, he also knew he would go a little stir crazy if he had to sit in that relatives room for a second longer.

So he’d persuaded Chad to take him to the hospital. At least here he could pretend he had something to do, even if he was just waiting with Chad and Christian, watching Gumenick and her posse eyeing the curtain that Danneel was being treated behind with something akin to contempt.

“Was she conscious when you got to the parking lot?” Chad asks suddenly, leaning a little more fully into Christian.

Christian nods. “She was awake, but she was pretty out of it. Whatever this guy hit her with it was enough to ring her bell but good. Wouldn’t be surprised if the docs decide to take her for some CT scans or whatever it is they do for this sort of thing.”

“In case she has any permanent damage, you mean?” Chad’s voice is soft, like speaking any louder will make his words come true.

Christian nods. “There was a lot of blood.”

“What about Jensen?” Jared can’t help himself; he needs to know what kind of state Jensen’s going to be in when they find him.

But Christian just shrugs. “Honestly, I don’t know. The paramedics were already there by the time we arrived, and then the cops were all over the place, checking for evidence or whatever it is they do, asking for the security camera footage to see if they can track the vehicle the guy used.”

Jared just nods, knows there’s no more that Christian can tell him and he pushes himself away from the wall to pace the length of the hallway in front of his friends.

“You’re not still blaming yourself, are you, Jay?” Chad asks carefully and Jared just nods his head, no sense in lying to them now.

“I think I’ll be blaming myself for the rest of my life. I should have listened to Jensen that first day and gone to the cops then like he told me to. I should have ignored my own fucking pride and Tom and gone to the cops the day I got that first letter.”

Jared punches the wall next to Christian’s head so hard he feels bones crack, but it doesn’t make him feel any better.

“Jared, you have to calm down,” Christian soothes, “you’re not helping anybody by beating yourself up like this. You’re gonna kill yourself with the ‘what ifs’ if you don’t knock it the hell off.”

“Chris is right,” Chad says, “none of us blame you for what’s happening right now, least of all Jensen, so you just need to chill out. The cops know what they’re doing; they’ll find him.”

Genevieve’s head appearing from between the curtains surrounding Danneel stops Jared from having to think of a comeback. Christian and Chad have told him a hundred times since they got to the hospital that none of this is his fault, but that doesn’t stop the guilt weighing heavily on Jared’s shoulders, and he doesn’t know what will.

Even finding Jensen alive and well and unharmed might not ever assuage Jared’s guilt and he doesn’t know if he’s ever going to be able to fit himself back into Jensen’s life as seamlessly as he did before and that thought scares him more than anything.

“How is she?” Chad pushes himself away from the wall and hurries to Genevieve’s side as he steps away from the cubical.

“Tired,” Genevieve reports, “but the doctor says she can’t sleep. She’s got one hell of a concussion and enough stitches in the back of her head to patch a quilt. She lost a lotta blood, so they’re gonna keep her in overnight at least, reassess her in the morning.”

“How is she?” Jared blurts out, the words falling from his mouth before he can stop them. “I mean, other than her injuries. How is she?”

Genevieve gives him a knowing smile. “I think I’ll let her tell you that.” She turns to Chad before Jared can demand to know what she means by that. “Can I borrow your car? I need to go home and get some stuff for Dan, toiletries and things.”

Christian shakes his head. “You’re not in any fit state to drive, darlin’. I’ll take you. I’ll call Jensen’s parents while I’m there, since it hasn’t occurred to anyone to do it before now.”

“Little preoccupied, baby,” Chad snaps, but his eyes are soft, like he’s grateful that his husband would take on that task so that he doesn’t have to.

With a gentle smirk, Christian steps into Chad’s space, crowding him close against the wall and reaches into the front pocket of Chad’s jeans, retrieving the keys to Chad’s car. 

“Be back soon, baby.” Christian closes the last inch between them and kisses Chad, soft and gentle and full of so much love and tenderness that it makes Jared’s heart hurt.

He hasn’t had time to get to that level of intimacy with Jensen yet, and he can’t stand the thought that, thanks to some stranger whose name they don’t even know, he might not ever get there.

“Can we see Danneel?” Chad asks of Genevieve when he and Christian have finally said their goodbyes.

Danneel’s girlfriend nods her head. “Yeah, just…don’t expect much conversation, okay? She’s kinda drowsy, so just make sure she doesn’t fall asleep.”

Jared just nods in agreement and waves goodbye as he watches them walk away before he and Chad each take a deep breath and Chad pushes the curtain open wide, revealing Danneel looking pale and miserable in the huge white bed.

She gasps as soon as she sees Jared, her eyes going big and wet and Jared rushes to the side of her bed, taking her hand when she reaches for it. 

“Jared,” she hiccups, “Jared, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to stop the guy taking Jensen, b-but he came up from behind, I didn’t even know he was there. Please, Jared, I’m just so, so sorry.”

Jared just stares at her, watches as he tears run down her face, because he can’t comprehend the fact that Danneel is apologizing to him, when he came in here to do the exact same thing to her. 

“Danneel, this isn’t your fault,” he tries, putting as much conviction into his words as he possibly can.

“It is! I didn’t see him! I should have seen him, Jared!”

“You don’t have eyes on the back of your head, Dan,” Chad says, looking pointedly at the bandage slightly to the right of the back of Danneel’s skull.

“But I should have.” She’s more miserable than ever and Jared regrets wanting to come and see her; he feels like he’s just making her upset.

With a deep breath, Jared forgoes the chair that’s been placed next to the bed – the one Genevieve presumably sat in as Danneel’s doctors tended to her – and sits on the edge of Danneel’s bed.

“I’m sorry that this had to happen,” he says solemnly. “I’m sorry that you got hurt because of me. I’m sorry that Jensen is missing because of me.”

“Oh, my God,” Chad interrupts and Jared can almost feel his friend rolling his eyes, but he soldiers on.

“I promise I’m going to do whatever it takes to earn your trust, back, Danneel; yours and Jensen’s.” He looks away from her wide, confused brown eyes, down to where their hands rest on her thigh, their fingers locked together.

It’s silent for a moment, like Danneel’s trying to fight through her concussion to understand what it is Jared’s trying to say, then she clears her throat.

“Is he seriously trying to tell me that this is all his fault?”

Jared looks up suddenly and sees that Danneel’s looking at Chad, like she’s waiting for her question to be answered.

“Yeah.” Chad sounds annoyed with the whole situation. “He’s been like this since the police station. No matter what any of us tell him, he’s determined to make sure that everyone blames him.”

Jared can see Danneel’s arm move, slow and a little off target, and knows that she’s going to hit him, but he doesn’t move out of her way, just sits there and takes the feeble hit to his shoulder as she tries to glare at him.

“I won’t sit here and let you take the blame for what goes on inside the mind of a raving lunatic, you stupid son of a bitch.”

“But I should have done something!” At this point, it feels like Jared is talking to four brick walls. “If I’d gone to the police before now, they might have locked him up and none of this would have happened!”

“Or,” Chad says slowly as he comes around to sit on the other side of the bed, “the police could have laughed you out of the station. Or they might never have caught the guy. Or, if they had caught him, he might have already been out of prison by now and gone right back to his old tricks. There are a hundred ways you could have done things differently that would have resulted in us sitting here right now. You have to stop assuming that this only concerns you.”

Jared gapes at him. “You were the one who told me you thought Jensen was right the other day!”

Chad shrugs. “Christian and I have been talking about it, there’s no guarantee about anything.”

“That’s why you didn’t go to the cops before now, right? Because you thought no one would believe someone like you could be the victim of a stalker?” Danneel cocks her head to the side and she looks so sleepy and adorable, hopped up on painkillers, that Jared can’t help the smile that spreads across his lips, despite the serious situation.

Jared nods. “I didn’t think they would have done anything about it. Because of my size and what I do for a living, I just assumed that I would have been put to the bottom of the to-do list, as soon as they’d all finished laughing their asses off.” Cohen and Gumenick’s impression of him while they were waiting on Jared’s lawyer sort of cemented that fact. They might have just laughed Jared out of the room.

Chad wrinkles his nose. “I know Jensen wants you to believe that that wouldn’t have been the case, but honestly? If all of this hadn’t happened, and you’d just gone to the cops like Jensen wanted you to, I can’t honestly say that wouldn’t have happened.” He shrugs. “Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.”

Jared narrows his eyes. “What the hell, Chad? What’s so blessed about what happened today?”

“Think about it, Jared. Before today, what was this guy guilty of? Sending you a few notes? A vague threat against your boyfriend that could have been taken in any sort of context? But in just the last twelve hours, this guy has committed a long list of crimes; filing a false report, assault, assault with a deadly weapon, maybe, kidnap, false imprisonment, maybe even-”

Chad cuts himself off, his eyes flashing towards Danneel.

“Even what, Chad?” Jared presses. When Chad just looks back at him, trying for innocence, Jared leans in close. “Even what?”

“Rape,” Chad whispers. “He could be guilty of rape, Jared.”

Jared didn’t think it was possible to feel worse than he already did and he doesn’t understand why that thought didn’t cross his own mind hours ago.

_I’m going to prove to you how worthless he really is._

The words on that first letter about Jensen are burned into Jared’s brain and of course this is what the guy meant, that should have been obvious from the start, given Jared’s profession.

Before Jared has time to become properly horrified by the implication of Chad’s words he’s distracted by the cops that have been loitering outside of Danneel’s curtain since she was admitted suddenly breaking into a run and taking off down the corridor.

A horrible feeling settles in the pit of Jared’s stomach and he exchanges worried glances with Chad and Danneel.

“Go!” Danneel exclaim, waving her hands in the direction the cops had gone.

“Dan-” Chad starts, but Danneel cuts off.

“Just go, okay? If you don’t go and find out what’s going on, I’m going to get out of this bed and do it myself!”

With one more concerned glance, Jared takes off, not caring if Chad’s following him or not.

He runs down the corridor, through the busy ER and round another corner, finally seeing the cops holding open a set of doors as a patient is wheeled through by frantic paramedics, but the doors swing closed before Jared can get a clear view of the patient.

“Mr. Padalecki, you can’t go through there,” one of the cops says, reaching out to put a hand on Jared’s chest.

Jared looks down at her, realizing he doesn’t know her name, or her partner’s but finding that he doesn’t care, he just needs to get into that room.

“Is that Jensen?” he asks desperately. “Is that Jensen they just brought in here?”

“Sir, you know we can’t answer those questions,” her partner tells him and Jared just shakes his head, not wanting that answer.

“No, dammit, just tell me! Is that Jensen? Is he okay?”

The female officer puts a hand on her partners’ arm when he moves to speak again.

“The doctors haven’t told us anything,” she says softly, “we were just told he’d been found and was on his way here.”

“But he’s…” Jared can’t seem to finish the sentence and he swallows hard, “but he’s…alive?”

“As far as we know,” the male cop confirms; his tone softer now and Jared lets Chad lead him away a little. 

“I called Chris, he and Gen are on their way back now. I’ll go sit with Dan and you hang around here; come find us when you know anything.”

“Thank you.” Jared tries to put as much sincerity into his words as he can manage. He’s so grateful for Chad right now, doesn’t know how he would have survived the last few hours without him.

He gives the shorter man a tight smile and watches him walk quickly back to Danneel before he sits himself down on the floor on the other side of the hallway.

The male cop stares hard at him for a second or two and whispers something to his partner, but he doesn’t say anything when she shakes her head, simply crosses his arms over his chest and they all settle in to wait.

///

“Jared.

Jared doesn’t turn around at the sound of Genevieve’s voice, just continues to stare at the pale form lying motionless in the hospital bed. There are monitors and IV stands all around the bed, monitoring Jensen’s vitals and pumping him full of painkillers and other stuff to keep him on the right side of the flat line.

“Jared,” Genevieve tries again and this time Jared tilts his head slightly, letting her know that he’s listening, but that his eyes are for no one but Jensen right now.

“The doctor wants to talk to Danneel, but she wants you to be there with her. Says it’s only fair.”

Jared snorts. Fair. Fair would be Jared lying in that hospital bed with a bullet wound in his shoulder and pumped so full of drugs he doesn’t know which end is up.

Instead it’s Jensen; Jensen who has just come out of major surgery to repair the damage from a gunshot wound; Jensen who will have a permanent scar as a reminder of his ordeal.

Jensen who might never speak to Jared again.

Jared doesn’t want to leave, doesn’t think he has the strength to tear himself away from Jensen, but he wants to know how serious Jensen’s injuries are, but the doctors won’t speak to him because he’s not Jensen’s next of kin – that title falls to Danneel, legally speaking, so he knows he needs to go out there with her to find out the news first hand.

“I’ll stay with him,” Genevieve promises as Jared gets to his feet and she grabs his hand as he passes her, giving it a gentle squeeze before she takes over Jared’s vigil at Jensen’s bedside.

Danneel is waiting outside the room, looking small and fragile in the wheelchair the hospital insists she uses since they’ve yet to declare her well enough to be released.

“Where are Chad and Christian?” he asks as he falls in behind her, his hands on the handles of the chair as he pushes her in the direction she indicates, recognizing the way to the relative’s room after only a few turns.

“They went to pick Jensen’s parents up from the airport. They managed to get an emergency flight outta Texas; they landed a little while ago.”

Once again, a sick feeling settles over Jared’s body and the knowledge that Jensen’s parents will soon find out what happened to their son and Jared’s part in all of it. Jensen’s friends might insist that Jared holds no blame in the situation, but he’s not so sure Mr. and Mrs. Ackles will agree.

Jared gets Danneel settled in the relative’s room and pulls one of the weird padded wooden chairs up alongside her just as the door opens again and an attractive man in his late-forties walks in with a clipboard in one hand. He stops when he sees Jared sitting next to Danneel and gives her a considering look.

“Dr. Weatherly, this is Jared Padalecki. It’s kind of a long story, but he’s Jensen’s boyfriend and deserves to know what’s going on with him.”

Dr. Weatherly stares at them some more, clearly uncomfortable with the situation, then shakes his head with a deep sigh and pulls up his own chair.

“Mrs. Ackles, your husband suffered a gunshot wound to his upper-left chest, close to his shoulder. It was close range and aimed downwards, so we suspect the assailant was targeting the heart.”

Danneel sniggers. “Sucky shot if he missed at close range.”

“Quite.” The doctor cleared his throat and lowered his head to hide his grin. “But, your husband was lucky. I don’t know if it was because the assailant was caught by surprise or if he really was just hoping to wound Jensen, but the bullet passed cleanly through his body, without hitting any major arteries or anything like that. There was a slight chipping to one bone, but I doubt it would be anything that would cause him any harm in the future.”

Jared sucks in a breath and Danneel reaches out for his hand, both of them thankful that it’s not any worse. Jared knows that he’s been imaging the worst and he guesses that Danneel has, too.

“He also has a large laceration to the back of his head that required stitches.”

Danneel grunts. “Great, we’ll have matching scars.”

“Aside from that,” Weatherly goes on, “we found a number of drugs in Jensen’s system. Rohypnol and other mild sedatives, probably to keep him calm and manageable.” He looks down at his clipboard, a frown marring his face as he reads whatever he’s written there.

“Something wrong, Doctor?” Jared presses when Weatherly has been quiet for a little too long to be comfortable.

Weatherly looks up at them again, confusion coloring his eyes as he looks from Danneel to Jared and back again. “There was something else that we found in his system, but I’m unsure as to whether I should bring it up.”

Jared sits up straighter in his chair. “Is Jensen okay? Is this something serious?”

Weatherly waves him off. “No, no, it’s nothing like that; nothing that would cause us any major concerns. But, given the nature of how Jensen received his injuries, I thought it best that I ask, so that the police can be informed, if I think they need to be.”

Jared nods his head and Danneel takes a deep breath. “Alright, so ask. I’m pretty sure at least one of us will know the answer.”

“Can either of you tell me if Jensen was taking Viagra?”

Danneel recoils. “Okay, Jared, that is all you.”

“No!” Jared states emphatically. “No, Jensen is definitely not taking Viagra.”

Weatherly presses his lips together, like he’s uncomfortable with the conversation but knows he needs the answers. “Are you sure you can be positive? Some people don’t know if their partner is taking it or not.”

Jared shakes his head almost violently. “I don’t want to hash out the details of my sex life with my partner’s wife and doctor, but trust me, he’s not taking Viagra.”

The doctor nods his head and adds something to his chart. “I’ll make sure the police are made aware of it then. If Jensen wasn’t taking the drug himself, then it seems clear that he was given it by whoever did this to him today.”

Chad’s words from earlier crash back into Jared’s mind but he doubts this would have even crossed Chad’s mind.

Danneel clears her throat and gives Jared’s hand another squeeze. “Did you find…I mean, was there any evidence of…?” It’s like she can’t say the words and Jared really doesn’t blame her.

“Of rape?” Weatherly asks and Jared cringes, but he finds himself breathing a little easier when the doctor shakes his head. “No, we found nothing like that. There was no sign of any recent penetration and there weren’t any kind of fluids found on his genitals. I think it’s safe to assume that the police located him before anything like that could happen.”

Jared takes comfort in that knowledge, at knowing that Jensen hasn’t been violated, hoping that this means that he has a chance at getting over this.

Dr. Weatherly gets to his feet. “I’ll let you both get back. Mrs. Ackles, you really should be in bed.”

She gives him a bitter smile, already hating the orders after less than a day. “Yes, Doctor.”

Jared waits until the doctor has returned his chair to its rightful place and left before he does the same with his own and takes the breaks off of Danneel’s wheelchair and pushes her out through the door.

Following the path back to Jensen’s room, Jared’s a little shocked to find Genevieve leaning against a wall as they turned a corner, her tipped back and her eyes closed.

Jared can see how exhausted she is, dark circles under her eyes and her skin pale and chalky, but the only thing he can think about is that fact that she’s out here and Jensen’s alone.

“Baby?” Danneel starts, clearly concerned for her girlfriend, but Jared interrupts her.

“What are you doing out here? You said you’d stay with Jensen.” He’s livid that Jensen’s been left by himself, even though he’s probably not aware of any of them being present or not.

With a yawn, Genevieve straightens up, holding her hands out defensively. “Relax, the nurse wanted to check his vitals and change his IV bags; he asked me to wait outside. Thought it best I hang around and find you in case you freak out when you get back to find an empty room.”

Jared feels his whole body deflate as some of the tension leaves him, slightly mollified by the fact that Genevieve didn’t leave of her own accord, but she’s still standing here and Jensen’s in his room alone.

With a tired smile, Genevieve leans down to give Danneel a gentle kiss before she steps behind the chair and hip checks Jared out of the way.

“Go on, go get back to your boy; I’ll get my girl back to her room.”

“Your girl needs to get out of his damn hospital before she goes insane,” Danneel gripes. “I don’t even need to be here! I just want to sleep!”

“Not for another couple of hours, sweetie,” Genevieve cajoles as she pushes Danneel away from Jared.

Jared watches them go with a fond smile on his face before he takes a deep breath, readying himself to go back into Jensen’s room as he starts a slow walk back there.

His cellphone rings before he can make it there, and he cringes in embarrassment, fumbling uselessly as he tries to get it out of his pocket as quickly as possible.

“Hello?” he answers, his voice lowered slightly in case there’s a nurse or doctor or some other staff member around.

_“Jared? Man, are you alright? I just saw the news.”_

Jared breathes out a relieved breath. “Tom. Hey, man. Yeah, no, I’m fine. Jensen’s fine. He got out of surgery a little while ago.”

_“What the hell happened? The news reports say something about a kidnapping? Are they fucking serious?”_ Tom’s voice is high and anxious, like he’s concerned about Jared and Jensen’s safety and Jared is touched that he’s so worried.

“Yeah, Jensen was kidnapped, by that guy who’s been leaving me those letters.”

Tom gasps _. “Seriously? Fuck, Jared, are you sure? Maybe it’s some other whack-job.”_

Jared shakes his head, even though he knows Tom can’t see him. “Nah, man, pretty sure it’s him. He threatened Jensen in the last letter he sent; that’s why I moved out of the hotel.”

_“I am so, so sorry. I never thought this guy was serious. If I’d even considered for one second that this guy would have been capable of something like this I would have driven you to the police station myself.”_

Jared pinches the bridge of his nose. “Tom, don’t go blaming yourself. Really, I’m doing enough of that for both of us. I knew how twisted this guy was getting, but instead of doing something about it, I just tried to run away. Shoulda known that MO wasn’t gonna work this time around.”

_“I’m still sorry, Jared. I’m also sorry that I wasn’t there for you, you must be going out of your mind, over there all alone like that.”_

Jared actually manages a smile, surprising himself. “Nah, man, I’m good. Jensen’s friends are here and they’ve been pretty great. They’re managing pretty will at keeping me from freaking out too much. Really, I’m okay.”

_“Oh.”_ Tom’s voice is suddenly strained and Jared wonders if he’s feeling left out, like he’s no longer needed in Jared’s life.

All at once, Jared starts to wonder how long it’s been since he’s seen Tom, hung out with him. With the latest shoot and things heating up in Jared’s relationship with Jensen, not to mention the new friends Jared’s somehow managed to make, it’s been a while since he’s even thought about Tom, and he feels like a really shitty friend.

“Listen,” he says softly, “why don’t you come down here tomorrow? The doctors say Jensen should be awake in a few hours, so he should be okay for visitors by then, and I know he’s been dying to meet you; I talk about you a lot, dude.”

Tom clears his throat. _“Um, yeah. Yeah, I think I’d like that. I mean, if you’re sure Jensen’s up to it?”_

“I’ll make sure to check with doctors, and if he isn’t up for visitors, I’ll take you for some really crappy coffee in the cafeteria.”

Tom lets out a dry chuckle. _“Alright, man, I’m sold. I’ll see you tomorrow.”_ There’s a pause before Tom hangs up, and Jared holds on, waiting for whatever’s going to come next. _“I’m really glad you’re okay, Jared.”_

Then the line goes dead and Jared jambs the phone back into his pocket, feeling slightly better for talking with Tom, and continues on his way back to Jensen’s room.

When he gets there, the door is still propped open and Jared thinks for a minute that the nurse is still inside and he peers into the room as discreetly as possible, so that he can escape to the cafeteria for some much needed coffee without disturbing whatever is taking place.

But it’s not a nurse in the room when Jared peeks around the doorframe; instead he finds an older couple, one of them standing on either side of Jensen’s bed and looking down at him with deep concern etched on their faces.

They can’t be anybody other than Jensen’s parents.

Jared can’t face them right now, can’t stand to hear how much they hate him for what he’s done to their son, not while he’s running on nothing but candy bars and coffee and twenty minutes of sleep. So he turns to leave, deciding to hang out in Danneel’s room until they leave.

But his sole of his sneaker squeaks against the linoleum as he turns away and he winces because he knows it won’t go unnoticed.

“Are you a friend of Jensen’s?”

Jared turns back to face the room at the sound of Jensen’s father’s voice and he ducks his head even as he gives a shy nod. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to disturb you. I’ll…I’ll come back later.”

“Are you Jared?” Jensen’s mother asks and again, Jared nods.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Mrs. Ackles smiles and steps towards him, extending her hand. “I’m Donna, and this is my husband, Alan. We’re very pleased to meet you, Jared. Jensen has told us a lot about you, and Chad and Christian both speak very highly of you.”

Jared can’t hold back the dismissive snort at her words even as he shakes her hand. “I would have imagined that I was your least favorite person on that planet right now, given what’s happened.”

Donna purses her lips and sighs. “Yes, Chad told us you were experiencing a lot of guilt over this, much undeserved from what I can see.”

Jared gapes at her. “Mrs. Ackles, I’m the reason your son was kidnapped and shot and almost-” He cuts himself off before he can say the word; there’s just some things a mother doesn’t need to hear.

“No, Jared,” she says sternly, “you’re not. This is the result of a man who can’t seem to separate fantasy from reality. You are not to blame for something that goes on in someone else’s sick mind and I won’t stand here and allow you to think that you are, and I know Jensen won’t either when he wakes up.”

Jared can’t help the small smile that crosses his lips at her harsh but caring tone.

It’s been a long time since he’s been faced with the beautiful fury of a mother who knows she’s right and for a single second, he misses his own mother with such fierceness that he has to stop himself from reaching for his phone.

“Now,” she nods, satisfied that Jared doesn’t seem to be planning on answering her back, “why don’t you come and sit down, Jared? You look like you’re running on fumes.”

“No, really, I’m fine,” Jared protests as Donna guides him to the solitary chair occupying the room. “You’re probably tired from you flight, you should-”

“Son,” Alan cuts him off, “you’re probably better off learning now that you shouldn’t really argue with the woman; you won’t get anywhere. Plus, she’s right; you look dead on your feet.”

Jared scrubs a hand over his face. “With everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours, I’m really not surprised.”

Donna comes up and lays a gentle hand on the top of his head, stroking softly in a motherly way and Jared lets himself lean into it for a second.

“Are you parents here already, sweetheart? I imagine they must be going out of their minds after everything.”

And just like that, the warm feeling that Donna has ignited in him is doused out and Jared straightens himself up, carefully looking away to avoid the pitying looks he knows will cross their faces.

“Um, no, no. My parents won’t be coming. We don’t…we don’t talk. At all. They…they don’t know anything.”

Well, they might, Jared considers. Christian already told him when he’d come back with Genevieve that there were reporters and paparazzi outside and crowding the main lobby of the hospital, and the news is already running stories about porn mogul Jensen Ackles’ kidnap and shooting at the hands of a crazed stalker. Jared knows that his name – his real name – has been mentioned more than once and he wonders if his parents even care.

“Let me guess,” Alan starts, his tone sympathetic, “proud Texas folk that they are, they didn’t react well to the news that their son was gay, did they?”

Jared thinks back to that awful day, almost thirteen years ago now, and shakes his head. “No, sir, they really didn’t.” He gives them a strained smile. “But it’s okay; Jensen’s friends have sort of adopted me as one of their own, so it’s not like I’m completely alone.”

Donna presses a soft, maternal kiss to his temple. “Alan, honey, why don’t you go get us all some coffee and something to eat? I’m sure Jared could use a snack right about now.”

Shaking his head, Alan heads for the door. “What the boy needs, Donna, is a decent meal, a good hot shower and a long night’s sleep.” He stops in the doorway and turns back to them with a smile. “But I have a feeling he’s not going to go anywhere until Jensen wakes up, so I’m not even going to try to argue.”

He walks away before Jared can think of a comeback, but he’s touched nonetheless by the statement. 

He hadn’t known what to expect when he was finally faced with Jensen’s parents, but it certainly wasn’t this quiet acceptance and he feels some of the guilt he’d been feeling float away.

**Chapter 12**

Jensen stays out cold for another eighteen hours, waking once at some point in the middle to ramble incoherently about his dry cleaning, according to Chad.

He woke, finally and for real, a few hours ago, to the worried and concerned gazes of his parents and Chad, and since then, there’s been a parade of his parents and friends and doctors and nurses in and out of the room at a rate that was truly alarming and made Jensen slightly dizzy.

Everyone, that is, except Jared.

The doctors and rest of the hospital staff have kept the police away for now, but Jensen knows that it’s only a matter of time before they demand to talk to him, needing to get his statement.

He doesn’t remember much after the sedative started to take effect; he knows he was shot, knows that was what the pressure in his shoulder must have been, too out of his to recognize the real pain of a gunshot wound.

He’s recognizing it now alright, and the doctors have told him that he’ll be sore for a while and might even need a few sessions of physical therapy, just to make sure that there’s no lasting damage. He knows he got off relatively easily, but he is not looking forward to going through rehab; he knows it’s probably going to hurt like a bitch.

Something else he’s not looking forward too is spending the next however long looking over his shoulder, because he knows the stalker got away.

No one has said anything to him about the guy being caught when the cops stormed the place he was holding Jensen and Jensen can’t help but wonder where he is now, if he’s watching the hospital and waiting for the right moment to come back and finish the job.

Another reason Jensen needs to talk to Jared before the cops come to take his statement.

“So where is he?” Jensen asks, rolling his head on his pillow to look at Chad, who’s slouched in a chair next to his bed.

It’s just the two of them at the moment. Danneel had been released a few hours ago and now that she’d finally been given permission to sleep, Genevieve had begged to take her home, vowing to not let Danneel out of her sight until she was well again.

Jensen had instructed his parents to leave, too, asking Christian to take them to his and Jared’s and get them set up in one of the guests suites.

Christian had winked and told them he would put them in the room farthest away from the master suite, so that they wouldn’t be disturbed by Jensen and Jared’s screams of ecstasy.

Jensen had laughed and rolled his eyes, but truthfully, he doesn’t think he’s going to be interested in any sort of sex for a while yet, and he wonders if Jared is feeling the same way.

Chad scoffs and looks at the ceiling. “Sitting outside in the hallway.”

Jensen mouth hangs open. “What? What’s he doing out there? Why isn’t he in here?”

“He was; he hasn’t left since you were brought in. Then you woke up, he ran and got the doctor and your parents and hasn’t come back inside since.”

Jensen turns his gaze to the door, his heart breaking at the idea of Jared been too afraid to face him.

“He blames himself, doesn’t he?” Jensen asks after a lengthy silence.

Chad gives him a sad look. “You were expecting some other outcome?”

Jensen sighs and leans back against his pillow, staring at the ceiling. “No. Maybe. Maybe I was just expecting you guys to do a better job of talking him out of it.”

Chad throws up his hands. “I tried! Hell, we all did, even your mom. And for a while there, I really thought we’d gotten through to him. And then you woke up and it’s like he forgot everything we’d been trying to tell him. He’s determined to take the blame for this and he’s just expecting you to go along with it and kick his ass to the curb.”

Theoretically, Jensen can understand where Jared is coming from, but he just can’t make himself see Jared’s point of view, not when every single person is trying to convince Jared that he’s not the one to blame.

He supposes the mind is a funny thing, and it’s high time he started making Jared’s mind work more like his own.

“Can you get out of here without Jared seeing you?” Jensen asks and Chad gives him an incredulous look.

“Yes, of course. I’ll just jump out the tenth story window. I’m sure the concrete parking lot will make for a wonderfully soft landing.”

Jensen huffs. “You’re so full of shit. A simple ‘no’ would have done.”

Chad glares at him. “No.”

Jensen glares right back. “Then I need you to come up with some sort of excuse for why you’re leaving me alone in here, because I need you gone in the next thirty seconds.”

“Well, fine.” Chad pushes himself to his feet. “See if I come visit your lame ass anymore. Kicking me out for someone you barely even know, the fucking nerve.”

“Chad,” Jensen starts, but Chad turns to him with a small smile on his face and Jensen knows that everything between them is okay.

“We’re good, Jensen. You do what you have to do. I’ll be here when you’re done.”

Jensen feels his eye fill with tears as he looks up at his best friend, the one person – besides Danneel – who’s been there for him through every important decision he has ever made, and to know that Chad approves of Jared means more to Jensen than even his parents’ approval.

Suddenly, Chad lunges for him, wrapping his arms around Jensen as best he can with Jensen laid up in bed, hugging him so tight that Jensen’s having problems breathing and the pain in his shoulder is flaring up despite the painkillers that have been pumped into him.

“Don’t you dare do that to me again,” Chad mumbles against his back and Jensen hugs him back awkwardly.

“I’ll try not to.”

With that, Chad pulls himself away and doesn’t look back at Jensen once as he leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

Jensen wonders what story he told Jared.

He settles back against the pillows to wait for Jared, certain now that Jensen’s alone, Jared will want to see him; now that he doesn’t have to face other people at the same time.

Fifteen minutes pass and Jared remains stubbornly on the other side of the door.

Either that or he’s gone home with Chad.

Jensen waits another five minutes before he can’t take it anymore and starts pulling on the wires attached to his body. Something starts beeping; something else lets out a noise that sounds suspiciously like a flat line and the IV that had been in the bend of his elbow is now leaking clear fluid onto the white sheets of his bed, but Jensen doesn’t give a shit.

He knows that nurses will come running any second and he has to get to Jared before then, so he just sucks up the pain and wobbles his way on unsteady legs to the door of his private room.

It’s harder than he thought it would be to actually open the door, but he manages it, and he isn’t at all surprised to find Jared sitting on the floor just to the left of said door.

“So, apparently,” he says, startling Jared, “I’ve lost the ability to sleep without my boyfriend in bed with me, so I was wondering if you’d be willing to come on as a substitute until I can find him?”

Jared scrambles to his feet, his eyes wide and panicked. “Jesus Christ, Jensen! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“Trying to get my boyfriend to cuddle with me,” Jensen explains even as he leans more heavily against the doorjamb, his energy suddenly zapped.

Jared catches him around the waist before his legs can give out completely. “You just had major surgery, you idiot. You shouldn’t even be out of bed.”

“And you shouldn’t be sitting in the hallway like you’re on death row. Get in here.”

Jared huffs out a breath and helps get Jensen back to bed, hitting the buzzer to call for a nurse as he settles the blankets around him again.

“You could have seriously hurt yourself,” he scolds and Jensen rolls his eyes, but the nurse comes in before he can say anything and makes sure Jensen feels like a complete tool for pulling off all his leads and IV’s, and reiterates Jared’s point – and Jensen has to admit, pulled stiches don’t sound fun.

“You shouldn’t have done that, Jensen,” Jared says in a quiet voice once the nurse has disappeared, taking a seat on the edge of Jensen’s bed.

“Would you be in here if I hadn’t?” Jared blushes and looks away. “Uh-huh.”

“Look, Jensen, I know you don’t think that this is my-”

“You’re right, Jared, I don’t think that any of this is your fault, but right now, this isn’t about whose fault this is.”

Jared looks up at him, confusion in his hazel eyes. “It’s not?”

“No, Jared, but trust me when I say that we’ll get back to that later.”

“Then what is this about? Jensen, you should be resting right now.”

Jensen shakes his head. “The police want to talk to me; the doctors have been keeping them at bay for now, but they’ll be in here before too long to get my statement and I wanted to talk to you before I did that.”

A frown creases Jared’s brow. “Talk to me about what? Whatever it is, surely the cops need to know more than I do.”

“No, I want you to know first, Jared.” Jensen pauses, suddenly unsure as to how he should continue. He knows that Jared needs to know this, but no matter how gentle he is, or how carefully he breaks the news, this is going to turn Jared’s whole world upside down, and Jensen isn’t really in any fit state to take care of him.

“Spit it out, Jensen. You’re making me nervous.”

“I know who the stalker is,” Jensen says quickly and then he rolls his eyes at himself. “Well, no, I don’t,” he corrects before Jared can say anything, “I don’t know his name or anything, but I know that it’s someone you know. He’s a friend of yours.”

Jared blushes and averts his eyes, looking down at their joined hands. “Jensen, I don’t…I don’t have any friends, and the few I did have I left behind when I moved here. Being in porn, I found it hard to connect with people who weren’t in the business. When they asked ‘what do you do for a living?’ I couldn’t come up with a good enough answer to stop their questions.” He shakes his head. “There were a few guys within the industry that I knew better than most, but it was hard to let go, to be myself around them when it was always in the back of my mind that I’d fucked these guys, that they’d swallowed my dick just the other day. So, no, Jensen; I think this guy was lying to you. I don’t have any friends except you guys.”

Jensen blinks tears away from his eyes as he takes in Jared’s sad words. “Jared, he knew things about you, talked like he’d spoken to you. He told me about how he watched you with Milo, how he…” Jensen blinks, squeezing Jared’s hand until the other man looks up at him. “Jared, he told me how you asked him to move here with you.”

Jared pales so fast Jensen’s surprised he doesn’t pass out from blood loss, but before he can say or do anything, Jared stumbles away from the bed, backing himself into the corner of the room.

“Tom,” Jared chokes out, “Tom did this? He did this to me? I thought he was my friend?”

Jensen feels helpless, stuck in the bed attached to wires and machines, needles in his arm while Jared works himself into a panic in the corner and Jensen can’t reach him.

“Jared, baby, you need to calm down, take a deep breath, okay? Can you do that?”

Jared shakes his head, his hands pulling on his hair as tears cascade down his face. “I told him about the letters; he knew how upset they made me and all along it was him? He was the one doing this to me?”

“Jared, I’m not going to pretend I know what’s going on in that guy’s mind, but you have to pull yourself together right now. We need to go to the police; you need to give them Tom’s address so that they can track him down. He needs to pay for this.”

Jared looks up suddenly, his wide eyes filled with fear. “He called me.”

“What?!”

“Yesterday, he said he heard it on the news, about what happened. I…I told him he could come down here, see for himself that you were okay.”

Jensen’s heart jumps into his throat and his pulse skyrockets. They need the police right now, and Jensen hopes that the cops that were hanging around earlier are still here.

Floundering in the bed, Jensen reaches for the buzzer to the nurses’ station, leaning on it to get attention.

“Jared, where’s your cellphone? We need to call someone, we need to get Christian or Ty or someone down here before-”

“Before what? Before I show up and finish what I started?”

Jensen’s blood runs cold at the sound of that voice and he turns towards the door, his eyes landing on a guy he doesn’t recognize, someone around Jared’s age but not nearly as good-looking.

“Tom,” Jared says in a breathy voice and he stumbles his way back to the bed, angling his body over Jensen.

His panic rising, Jensen presses the buzzer again, hoping someone will come and see what’s going on.

Tom’s chuckle stops him cold. 

“You can stop wasting your time. There’s no one coming to your rescue this time.”

Jensen shares a look with Jared, watches as his face pales even more as the implication of Tom’s words sink in.

“Y-you killed them?” he stammers, white-knuckling the railing of Jensen’s bed.

Tom gives an exaggerated shrug. “Private ward like this, there aren’t many people running around, what with just the rich dicks like you to look after. It wasn’t that hard to take a few people out.”

Jensen shakes his head. “I knew you were insane, man, but killing people? And for what? Because Jared didn’t return your affections? Did you even tell him you had feelings for him?”

Jensen’s getting pissed now; he’s had enough of lying down and taking what this guy dishes out to him, if this guy really is planning on killing him, he’s going to go down fighting.

“He should have known!” Tom screams. He’s practically vibrating as he paces in front of the door, blocking the only exit and Jensen starts thinking about Chad’s idea of jumping out the window.

“How?!” Jared yells, pushing himself away from the bed. “How was I supposed to know you were fucking pining away for me? You never fucking said anything! I’m not a fucking psychic, man! I thought you were straight! You _told_ me you were straight!”

“We were perfect together before you moved here! Everything was perfect and then you had to move here and you met the bastard that ruined my fucking life and now everything fucking sucks and I need to fix it!”

“I moved here because of those fucking letters!” Jared’s getting angry now; Jensen can see that his whole face is turning red as he stares Tom down. “I was terrified of this freak I thought was stalking me and all this time…all this time it was _you_! I thought you were my friend, Tom!”

“I thought you understood!” Tom yells. “I thought that was why you asked me to come with you, because you’d finally gotten it!”

Jared just shakes his head, staring at Tom like he’s some sort of creature that the scientists just discovered at the bottom of a crater in the middle of the ocean. Jensen can relate.

“I was terrified,” he says, his voice tight and reed-thin, “I was so scared that this psycho out there was planning on crawling in through my bedroom window and was gonna carve me up in some insane murder-suicide pact thing, and all that time, it was you. You stood by and watched as moved from one apartment to the other, always looking over my shoulder every time I went out somewhere, scared he was finally gonna gun me down. And you did nothing. You just sat back and sent letter after letter.”

Something flickers across Tom’s face and Jensen can see the confusion settle in his eyes, like he doesn’t understand how his plan didn’t work.

“I thought you knew,” he repeats, like that’s all he needs to say, as though, somehow, those will be the magic words that make Jared get it and just fall into Tom’s arms.

“And kidnapping Jensen? Assaulting Jensen? Attempting to _rape_ Jensen? What the hell was that supposed to achieve, Tom?”

At Jared’s words, Tom’s anger comes back in a wave and he takes a step forward, his eyes mad with rage. “I wanted to get him out of the way! You don’t like it when the guy you’re with has been with a lot of other people, so I was going to show you just how big of a slut Jensen really is.”

Jensen rolls his eyes at the insane troll logic that just came out of Tom’s mouth.

“Haven’t you ever heard of the expression ‘don’t blame the victim’, Tom?”

Jensen figures Jared’s doing some eye rolling of his own.

Tom just glares at both of them for a handful of painfully silent seconds before he shakes his head and takes a deep breath, almost like he’s preparing himself for something.

“Doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what you say, either of you. ‘Cause the plan has changed. I’ve refined it.”

Jensen squirms, his heart pumping so loud he’s surprised he can’t hear it, and pushes himself closer to Jared, taking his hand when Jared reaches back for him.

“You gonna make me watch?” Jared’s voice is shaking and Jensen squeezes his hand so tightly that he thinks he might have cut off the circulation and then Tom reaches behind him, to the waistband of his pants and Jensen knows what’s coming even before the gun appears.

Jared throws himself on top of Jensen, uncaring of his many wounds and apparently deaf to the pained grunt Jensen lets out when Jared’s elbow hits the bullet hole he already has.

“No, Tom. I won’t let you do this. You wanna kill Jensen this bad you’ll have to kill me first.”

Jensen wants to argue with that statement, but he can’t actually come up with anything decent to say, because he doesn’t want to die and he doesn’t see a way out of this situation. This madman is going to kill them both, over nothing more than a rejected declaration of love and it would be hilarious if it wasn’t so petrifying.

“This isn’t for Jensen,” Tom says casually as he looks at the gun in his hand. It’s a Browning Hi-Power, complete with silencer, because God forbid anyone should hear the shots, and Jensen doesn’t know why his mind chooses to focus on that particular detail, but he can’t help but think that it’s just a little too much firepower for something like this.

“See, I’ve come to realize something, since I had Jensen in that warehouse.” Tom takes another step towards them and Jared presses Jensen down into the bed, like he can shield him with just his body.

“And what was that?” Jared asks and Jensen wonders if he’s stalling for time. Jensen’s still hoping that the police will come charging through the door any second now and rescue them and if he finds out when this is all over that they were all down getting donuts in the cafeteria, he’s going to sue the whole fucking LAPD.

“No matter what I do, no matter how much I hurt Jensen, or even if I take him away from you completely, you’re never going to be mine, are you, Jared? I mean, not completely. Oh, sure, you might try to barter for his life, tell me that you’ll be with me if only I leave Jensen alone, but I’ll always know, somewhere in the back of my mind, that you were only with me because you wanted to keep Jensen safe. Jensen is your number one priority.”

Jensen looks up at Jared, tries to take in the expression on the other man’s face and he isn’t at all surprised when Jared nods.

“Yes, he will be. Always. I’ll do anything to keep him safe.”

Tom nods jerkily and a tear slips down his face. “See, that’s exactly what I thought. So, I’ve decided – if I can’t have you, Jared Padalecki, then no one can.”

There’s a shot, loud and out of place in the small room and it makes Jensen’s ears ring.

And then he doesn’t hear anything at all.

**Epilogue**

The funeral is held on a Saturday.

There’s an investigation first, before they release the body, autopsy, official stuff like that, and it takes a while to make those kinds of arrangements. 

Jared doesn’t go to the service. The body was shipped back home to his parents and Jared can’t force himself to get on a plane, but he feels like he should be paying his respects anyway.

He gets dressed in his smart black suit, crisp white shirt and black silk tie then he sits on the front stoop and stares at the car, the keys in the ignition where Ty left them.

He was planning on just finding a local church, somewhere quiet where he can just sit and think about everything that’s happened in only three weeks, but he can’t seem to make himself move off the front porch.

After another few minutes, Jared finally gets into the car and starts the engine, idling in the driveway for another while before he puts the car in drive.

In the end, it’s Jensen who makes the decision for him and Jared has to laugh.

The code for the front gate – the one Ty had changed it to on his first day because he insisted that Jensen’s mother’s birthday was way too obvious – doesn’t work and Jared rests his forehead against the steering wheel for a moment before he shuts off the engine and gets out of the car.

Jensen is waiting for him at the front door, one arm still heavily bandaged to protect the stiches that were keeping the hole in his shoulder closed. He’s wearing one of Jared’s t-shirts and Jared feels his belly flip over. It’s not like his clothes look all that much different on Jensen – they’re pretty much the same size, but for Jared being a few inches taller – but it’s still a little thrilling to Jared that he has someone in his life who is in a position to wear his clothes whenever they want.

“He doesn’t deserve to have you feeling sorry for him, Jared,” Jensen says softly and Jared knows he’s right.

Tom made his life a living hell for two years, because of nothing more than jealousy.

It’s still fresh in Jared’s mind, the sound of that gunshot in that too-small hospital room. He can still hear it echoing in his ears and when he closes his eyes, he can still see the blood that drips from Tom’s mouth thanks to the bullet Ty put into his lung.

Jared couldn’t make himself move as the man he’d once considered his best friend gasped for breath, slumping to the floor of the room, pulling at the sheets on Jensen’s bed when his legs refused to hold him anymore.

Ty had crossed the room in purposeful strides, his gun still pointed at Tom, even though it was clear that he wasn’t a threat anymore, given his glassy, sightless eyes.

Pressing two fingers of his free hand to Tom’s neck, Ty had shaken his head to indicate that he hadn’t found and pulse and pulled out a cellphone.

“I’d like to report a shooting Cedars Sinai Hospital,” he’d said calmly and Jared was sort of in awe of him for a few seconds, before Jensen let out a choked sounding sob and Jared’s complete attention turned to him.

The next few days were lost to Jared in a haze of back and forth between Jensen’s hospital bed and police interview rooms. Jensen managed to get away with giving his testimony from his hospital room, thanks to his injuries, with Kristin Bell right there next to him, but Jared had to go with the lawyer all the way down to the precinct, and more than once.

He lost count of the times he had to go over his story, of how he’d only just figured out that Tom was his stalker after all those years just seconds before the guy got into Jensen’s hospital room with the sole intention of killing Jared and making Jensen witness the whole thing.

Jared thinks that’s what he hates Tom for the most; not all those letters that made him think his life wasn’t worth living, but the idea that he wanted Jensen to live for the rest of his life with the image of his boyfriend being shot to death right in front of him.

As strong as Jensen is, Jared doesn’t think he would have survived that.

The news reports were still buzzing ferociously by the time Jensen was allowed out of the hospital, and they still get the odd phone call at the house and a few reporters turning up at the front gate, demanding Clif or Zack or whoever was on watch to let them in so that they could give Jensen and Jared the opportunity to give their side of the story.

Jared had never been more grateful for the top of the range security measures at Jensen’s – their – house.

With a tight smile he follows Jensen back into the house, taking off his suit jacket and tie and throwing them over the back of the never-used couch and makes his way to the kitchen, where Jensen is already pouring them each a glass of scotch.

“By the way,” Jensen starts as he raises his glass to his mouth, “this came for you this morning.”

Jared knows that Jensen is wary about Jared’s reactions to any white envelopes he receives, but he’s mostly okay. Tom’s envelopes – and the paper they contained – were pretty expensive stuff, if such a thing as high-end stationary can exist.

The letter that Jensen slides across the marble countertop is similar, there’s no doubt about that. There’s nothing cheap about it, but the color’s off. Whereas Tom’s stationary was pure, brilliant white, this envelope is creamier with a hint of pink.

It’s not the same thing and one glance at Jensen’s face shows Jared that the other man knew that before he handed the letter over, he just wanted to make sure Jared was okay.

Jared pulls at the flap with uncoordinated fingers, tearing the crisp edges as he pulls out a few thick sheets of paper, one of them heavier and better quality than the others.

“The AMA’s?” Jared asks looking up at Jensen in time to see him waving an invitation of his own in the air. “I didn’t even know they were coming up.”

“Me neither. Guess we’ve been a bit distracted lately.”

Jared gives him a jerky nod and shuffles through the rest of the pages, the lists of nominees for each category. He’s not surprised to find his own name in there, in more than one category, but one nomination does shock him.

“That solo scene?” he asks, blinking wide eyes at Jensen. “I didn’t even know you guys had put that out.”

Jensen looks up at him, glass still in his right hand. “I think Chad mentioned something about it, but we were…busy with everything that was going on, I guess it slipped my mind.” He bites down on his lower lip for a second. “Why? Is that…is that a problem? Did you not want it to go out?”

“No,” Jared says, then quickly shakes his head, “I mean, yes, I’m happy that it’s gone out, that’s…that’s not it. I just…I honestly forgot about the whole thing. I didn’t even know your guys were still working on it.”

“They finished the editing when we were at Jim’s place filming with Riley. I told them to hold off on it for a while and push the teasers. That contest we were talking about running. Chad decided to put it out when I was still in the hospital. He did a pretty good job running the place when I was gone; might have to think about promoting him or something.” He smirks. “He’s been working with the editors on the Riley shoot as well, says they’ve decided to break it down into a three part series or something. Says there’s too much good shit to just throw away.” Jensen winks at him. “That’s a direct quote.”

Jared just nods.

“Why are you asking anyway? Is there something in there about it?”

“You didn’t look through the nominations?”

“No, I just opened the letter and-” Jensen lets out a loud whoop when he realizes what Jared’s talking about. “Wow, Jay, this is awesome. Your first solo shoot and you get a fucking nomination? Damn. I haven’t seen the finished product yet, but if it’s anything like the live show, it must be one hot scene.”

Jared wrinkles his nose in distaste. “There’s really no way I can comment on that without sounding like a complete douchebag.”

Jensen laughs and presses a kiss to Jared’s temple before crossing the room to the coffee pot. “Alright, so I’ll get Danni to mail our acceptance thingies on her way into the office on Monday and we can start looking at tuxes or suits or whatever. Did you wanna go down the whole tux route? I know you did the previous years, ‘cause I was jerking off to that image for months, but it’s kinda not really necessary anymore, so maybe we should go for something more casual?”

Jared squirms in his chair. “I was thinking about not going at all, actually.”

“What?” Jensen balks. “Why the hell not?”

“I was kinda thinking about maybe quitting porn altogether.”

It’s a thought that’s been simmering at the back of Jared’s mind since that day in Riley’s trailer and with every passing day the thought grows, as the important people in his life start talking about his next project, his next shoot, the web series that Jensen talked about, it’s just become more and more clear to Jared that his heart just isn’t in it anymore.

He’s been scared to bring it up, fearful of Danneel’s reaction more than anyone, but he’d known that it was only a matter of time and news of the AMA’s has only cemented his decision – he wants to quit porn.

“You wanna retire?” Jensen asks, his voice carefully neutral. Jared looks at his face, tries to see something in his eyes or the set of his jaw, but Jensen’s face is blank, like he’s purposefully trying to give nothing away.

“It doesn’t feel the same anymore,” Jared answers honestly. “Too much has happened because of this, and then there’s, you know…” he makes an abortive gesture in Jensen’s direction, “…you. I just…” he shrugs, running out of things to say.

Yes, they’ve been good these past few weeks – better than good – and Jared really feels like he’s found his ‘one’. Going out every day and fucking someone else doesn’t really add up in Jared’s mind to a normal, healthy relationship. He’s already told Jensen that he’s deliberately refused to bottom on camera so that, if he was ever in a real relationship, he’d have something that would be for his boyfriend and his boyfriend alone.

Except now that’s not feeling like enough, not as far as Jensen in concerned.

But he still has to think about the fact that he signed a contract, one that’s worth a lot of money, money that JADA are going to lose out on if Jared walks away completely.

So Jared waits, waits for Jensen to start talking about profits and sales and marketing and how much money they’ve already put into Jared’s position at JADA and how he hasn’t even begun to pay that back yet. He waits to hear about how much potential he’s wasting by walking away now.

Instead, Jensen kisses him, long and slow and full of so much passion that Jared finds it hard to breathe when his boyfriend finally pulls away.

“Okay, as a professional, I’m gonna go ahead and admit that it hurts a little to lose someone like you. You’re a hot commodity in the porn world.”

Jared groans. “See? This is why I didn’t say something sooner; everyone’s gonna be pissed that I’m bailing on my contract.”

“I don’t care what anyone thinks. The only important people in this situation are the two of us, Christian, Chad and Danni and Gen, and trust me when I say that they’re just going to be as relived as I am about this.”

Jared frowns. “Really?”

“Yes, Jared. They care about _you_ , Jared Padalecki. They couldn’t give two shits about PJ Tristan.”

Jared just nods, deciding to take Jensen at his word for now. “And how _you_ feel? Not as a professional?”

Jensen shrugs. “I already told you, I’m fucking relieved. Least now I know that the chances of this happening again are really fucking slim.” He sidles closer to Jared and slings his arms around Jared’s neck. “And, as a jealous boyfriend, I’m really glad that I’m the only one who gets to touch this ass from now on. Or kiss it. Or see it.”

Jared grins and leans in to kiss Jensen again, lingering to let their tongues tangle lazily and when Jensen pulls away, he lets out a whine.

“This, by the way, would also be a good reason why you should go to the awards ceremony. You can tell everyone about your retirement and I can rub their faces in it.” Jensen wrinkles his nose. “Not literally, though, because like I just said, I’m not big with the sharing.”

Jared groans. “Jensen, I don’t know if I’m really in the mood to paste on a smile and perform for those guys.”

Jensen blinks. “Okay, I know it’s the Adult Movie Awards, but actually performing isn’t really on the menu and might actually get everyone arrested.”

“So not what I meant.” Jared rolls his eyes when Jensen laughs.

“Okay, I know, I know. But seriously, Jared, we have to go to this thing. We’ll all go. Danneel will wear something short and gold and shiny and Genevieve will wear something low-cut and red and slinky and you and I will be dashing in our suits and we’ll making everyone so fucking jealous of our epic romance. And _when_ you win, I’ll go up on the stage with you and stand next to you and be so fucking proud because the man I love is so fucking amazing, and the whole world knows it.”

Jared blinks again, stunned. “You love me?”

They haven’t traded ‘I love yous’ yet. Sure, Jared’s felt it – he pretty much knew he was head over heels in love with Jensen the second Tom pointed a gun at them – but so far, he’s kept the words to himself, worried it was too soon for that. Their relationship has been moving at breakneck speed since that day in Hilarie’s studio, when Jensen had invaded every aspect of Jared’s life, and it hasn’t slowed down since.

Keeping this to himself has been Jared’s way of making sure that he doesn’t come off as a lovesick fool, and now Jensen has taken that away from him, pulled the rug out from under him by saying it first.

Jared’s never been in a relationship where the other person has said it first and now he doesn’t know where to go next.

But Jensen – clearly he has this all thought out, or planned or something, because he just continues to smile at Jared, pushing into his personal space so that he can press them close together.

“I just thought it was time to get it out there; fuck knows you were never gonna be the first one to say it.”

Jared bites his lip and wraps his arms around Jensen’s waist, pulling him into the space between his legs. “Didn’t want you to be scared off. This isn’t exactly a normal relationship, Jensen.”

Jensen pauses to consider that. “No, it’s not. So then, why should we bow to this social norm when we haven’t been paying attention to any other so far? It’s our lives, if we wanna move at warp speed it’s no one’s business but ours.” 

Jared nods, pulling Jensen in tighter. “I do, too, you know?”

Jensen eyes sparkle. “You do, too, what?”

“I love you, too.”

Jensen’s grin is blinding, his eyes raking over Jared’s face, like he’s committing every single part of it to memory, before he leans in, kissing Jared hard and fast.

Jared opens his mouth to Jensen’s probing tongue, the kiss turning hot and dirty with just a few practiced movements and already Jared can feel Jensen growing hard where he’s pressed up against Jared’s thigh.

Their sex life had taken a dip after the events of that awful day, Jensen’s shoulder injury preventing him from moving around a lot.

There was one bad night, when Jared had offered to ride Jensen, straddling Jensen’s hips as he worked himself open. He’d laid his hands on Jensen’s chest as he lifted his hips and Jensen had panicked, his erection vanishing as he pleaded for Jared to get off of him. 

Jared realized that it must have had something to do with that night, with whatever Tom had done to him, and he’d promised never to try for that position again.

It was also the night that Jared wondered about counseling, talking to someone about what they’d been through and Jensen had quickly agreed.

They had their first appointment with Dr. Lauren Tom a few days ago, and with her help, Jensen was sure he would, slowly, get over the fact that he was almost violated like that – but not enough for Jared to push for something Jensen clearly didn’t want; their sex life was more than good enough without that one thing.

In fact, their sex life is awesome, so awesome that Jared has taken to leaving tubes of lube and condoms in random places around the house, never knowing when the urge was going to strike Jensen.

Like right now, if the way Jensen was rubbing himself against Jared’s thigh was any indication.

Jensen starts on the buttons of Jared’s shirt, teasing them open slowly and then pushing the material down his arms and off, only breaking the kiss at the last minute to remove Jared of his undershirt and returning his lips to Jared as soon as the offending garment has been removed. Jared offers to return the favor, but Jensen won’t be moved, his lips moving ceaselessly over Jared’s face and neck and Jared lets out a gasp when Jensen sucks a mark onto his skin next to his collarbone.

“We got stuff down here?” Jensen mumbles against his throat and Jared waves his arms towards the other end of the room.

“Couch.” It’s tucked behind the cushion on the end of the couch where Chad always sits because Jared thinks it’s hilarious. Chad looked so scandalized when he’d caught Jared and Jensen on the couch in the rarely used living room the day Ty had been cleared of any wrong-doing in Tom’s death and Jensen had wanted to celebrate in their own way. He deserves a little payback.

When Jensen presses one last kiss to Jared’s lips and pulls away, Jared makes to follow him, imaging being pressed down into the soft cushions, burying his face in the back of the couch as Jensen leans in close.

Instead, Jensen puts a hand to Jared’s chest, biting on his lower lip as he shakes his head. “Nope. You stay right here.”

Jared falls back down onto his stool, his eyes never leaving Jensen as the other man hurries across the room for the lube.

Stalking back across the room, Jensen’s like a predator and Jared narrows his eyes when his other half spins a finger in the air before he points in Jared’s direction.

Jared frowns and looks around, trying to see what Jensen’s pointing at. And then his eyes land on the wide expanse of the breakfast bar and everything falls into place.

He jumps up from his seat so fast that the stool falls over and Jensen does nothing more than kick it out of the way when he steps over it, reaching out a hand to Jared as he leans against the granite counter top.

Jensen presses up behind him and he can feel the length of Jensen’s cock rubbing against his ass even through the layers of Jared’s shorts and Jensen’s boxers.

Jensen doesn’t waste much time; he presses a kiss to the back of Jared’s neck and then all that warmth against his naked back is gone, and Jared lets out a startled yelp when his shorts – the only item of clothing left on his body – are yanked to the ground and Jensen finds a new location to place his kisses.

He spreads Jared wide and his tongue spears deep without any hesitation or foreplay and Jared moans loudly, arching back into Jensen’s touch.

Jensen goes to town, licking over Jared’s hole and stabbing deep, adding one finger as he stretches Jared wide.

“Oh, God,” Jared groans, pressed face down on the breakfast bar, his legs already shaking.

Jensen chuckles and Jared hears the snapping of the cap of the lube and then Jensen’s pushing two fingers into him and Jared squirms even more.

He’s hard and leaking and he just can’t take it anymore.

“Come one, Jensen,” Jared pleads, “please. Just…please. I want you.”

There’s a shuffling behind him, Jensen shedding his clothes, Jared imagines, and then something sharp is being dragged down the line of Jared’s spine. He doesn’t need to look to know what it is, but he casts a look back over his shoulder anyway. Jensen’s looking at him with wary eyes, the corner of the condom packet now between his teeth.

They’ve talked about this, about what it would be like if they just stopped using them, if they were ever in the position to. But at that point, it had been a pipe dream. They’re both clean; Jared has to have mandatory tests every few months and Jensen got checked out when he was in the hospital.

With Jared’s job, it just wasn’t practical, though. They needed to be careful; never one hundred percent sure about the guys coming in from the agency for a one time shoot.

But with Jared’s announcement just a few minutes ago, that obstacle has been removed, taken away with nothing more than a few simple words.

This is it, as far as Jared is concerned. Jensen has been his entire life since he first walked through the door of this house almost four months ago. Now that his retirement is all but finalized, he’s never planning on having sex with anyone ever again.

Jared takes the condom from Jensen’s hand and twists in Jensen’s arms until he can throw it into the trash can on the other side of the breakfast bar. 

Jensen presses another kiss to the nape of Jared’s neck and picks up the lube again.

Jared can hear the low grunt Jensen lets out as he coats his – bare – cock with slick, but he doesn’t have time to think about it because Jensen is pressing right up against his hole and pushing in with one single steady thrust.

He knows it’s the most cliché thing in the world, but as Jensen’s starts thrusting into him, Jared has to admit that it feels different without the latex separating them. Hotter, deeper, more intimate than anything Jared’s ever felt before and he vows to do whatever it takes to keep Jensen next to him for the rest of his life. He’s not giving this up.

Jensen’s mumbling a litany of words into the skin of Jared’s back, a mixture of filthy words and loving endearments that make Jared feel both dirty and loved at the same time. 

“God, you feel so amazing,” Jensen mutters, his lips grazing the curve of Jared’s ear with every word. “Love that I get to have you like this, love that I’m the only one to get to have you from now on. Mine, you’re mine now, and I don’t fucking share.”

He punctuates each word with a hard thrust of his hips, his dick hitting Jared’s prostate with unwavering accuracy and Jared’s too fucked stupid to come up with a response.

He reaches back with one hand, his fingernails digging into the meat of Jensen’s ass as he feels the movement of Jensen’s hips pumping back and forth and he’s so distracted by the amazing feeling that he startles when Jensen’s hand wraps around his cock and starts stroking Jared counter to the rhythm of his hips.

It won’t take long; Jared can already feel his orgasm curling at the base of his spine. He’s knees are shaking, threatening to give out at any second and he makes a garbled sound, urging Jensen on with the hand still on his ass.

Jensen’s rhythm starts to falter and he runs his thumbnail over the head of Jared’s dick, and that’s it, Jared’s done.

He comes over Jensen’s hand and the underside of the breakfast bar, Jensen’s name on his lips and stars exploding behind his eyes.

“Fuck, I love you,” Jensen pants and suddenly comes, grunting a low noise of surprise.

Jared jerks, not used to the feeling of Jensen coming inside of him, not used to the feeling of all that hot come pumping into his body, but he knows, even as he struggles to get his breath back, that it’s something he wants to get used to.

He also knows, as he slumps face down on the counter, that he’s never going to be able to sit and have breakfast again without getting hard and behind him, Jensen lets out a soft chuckle, like he knows exactly what Jared’s thinking.

“Stay here,” he whispers, kissing Jared on the cheek, “’I’ll be back in a second.”

Really, Jared couldn’t go anywhere even if his life depended on it and he’s contemplating whether or not his legs will hold him to resituate the stool he knocked over so that he can sit down when the phone rings.

“Yeah,” his how he answers, the phone squished between his face at the countertop.

_“In future, my darling friend, when you and Jensen want to have awesomely erotic lunch-time sex, could you please keep it to the bedroom so that I don’t lose my lunch all over my balcony?”_ Danneel says cheerily. _“Either that or remember to close the French doors before you partake in kitchen sex.”_

Confused, Jared turns his head until he can see the French doors that he propped open to let in the cool early-afternoon breeze, and he wrinkles his nose when he looks out over the view of the backyard to Danneel and Genevieve’s house. He can just about make out someone sitting on the second story balcony, their feet propped up on the railing and he takes a wild stab in the dark that it’s Danneel.

“Perve. You could have just gone inside.”

_“What? And let you two ruin my wonderful afternoon_?” There’s a teasing lilt to her tone and Jared figures she’s just calling to give them shit, not because she’s actually offended.

“I’m surprised you could make anything out; you’re kinda far away.”

_“It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out, Jared_ ,” she snarks. _“And I could really only see you, which I’m more than thankful for. I know what you look like when you come. I really don’t want to know what kind of faces my husband pulls when he orgasms.”_

Jared laughs, can’t help it. “There is something seriously wrong with that sentence, Danni.”

“That Danneel?” Jensen calls and Jared makes himself sit up enough to look over his shoulder so that he can watch Jensen walk across the room in all his naked glory, a wet wash cloth held in one hand.

“Yeah,” Jared answers, the phone still pressed to his ear, “she’s been critiquing our technique.” At Jensen’s confused look, he jerks a thumb towards the doors.

With a smirk that screams bad intentions, Jensen crosses the kitchen until he’s standing in the open doorway, one hand on his hip, the other waving the wash cloth in his hand at Danneel across the way.

Through the phone line, Jared can hear Danneel’s shriek, mumbling about being scarred for life, but she’s laughing when she hangs up so Jared imagines it can’t be that bad.

Hell, it’s probably not the first time Danneel has seen Jensen naked, after all, they’ve been friends for over fifteen years.

Still laughing at his prank, Jensen walks back to Jared, kissing him soft and slow as he cleans Jared up with the washcloth, taking away the rivulets of come that are running down the insides of Jared’s thighs.

It’s a new sensation, one Jared can’t wait to grow accustomed too.

“So,” Jensen says as he rights the stool Jared toppled and sits back down on the one he vacated, “AMA’s, we’re going, yes?”

Jared narrows his eyes. “Can I ask you something before I answer that?”

“You can ask me whatever you want.”

“Why didn’t you go last year?”

It’s a question that’s been bugging Jared since he walked into that office and saw Jensen face-down on the desk. They’d met at the AMA’s two years ago and Jared had been excited at the prospect of running into Jensen again and maybe coming out of the meeting with more than just happy memories.

A sad look washes over Jensen’s face. “My grandmother had passed away. Me, Danni, Chad and Christian had all gone back to Texas for the funeral.”

Jared feels like a complete tool. “Jensen, I’m so sorry, I never meant to-”

Jensen holds up a hand, silencing him. “No, I know you didn’t and you had a right to ask. I wanted to go; I wanted to see you again. I mean, fuck, Jared. I knew who you were; I could have gotten your number any time I wanted.”

Jared frowns. “Then why didn’t you? Did you…did you _not_ want it?”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Jared, I love you. I think I even loved you back then, that wasn’t what it was about.”

“Then what was it about?”

“I wanted you to be the one to ask me. Gen and Danni figured it out pretty quickly; how I liked you so much more because you didn’t know who I was. It made me happy knowing that you were really interested in me, not Jensen Ackles, one half of JADA.”

Jared chuckles. “Until Danni approached me, I had no idea who or what JADA even was. I wasn’t really conscious of the studios I was working for. I just went to the people who were offering me the best deal. If I hadn’t been locked in with Seb and Dick at the time, I might have taken Danni’s offer then and there.”

“And how different things would have been if you had.”

He means Tom, Jared knows, and he bows his head as he thinks about the man his best friend became. Tom’s whole twisted campaign had started because Jared couldn’t get Jensen out of his head, couldn’t stop talking about him, even though he knew nothing about the other man other than the intense green color of his eyes and Jared thinks that Jensen might not have been the only one to fall in love back then.

///

They go to the awards.

Danneel wears something short and gold and shiny; Genevieve wears something low-cut and red and slinky. Christian and Chad look handsome in their suits and Jared can’t keep his eyes off Jensen.

Jared wins more than one award, but when he wins the award for Best Male Solo Scene – Eliza Dushku reading out his name in her husky, seductive tone – Jensen takes to the stage with him, stands just a step behind as Jared thanks everyone for the award and their continued support.

There’s a disappointed murmur that fills the room when Jared announces his retirement, and he wonders how many of those muttered curses are from younger stars that had been hoping to make their names off of PJ Tristan’s. Jared’s made careers before, after all.

When they get back to their table, Danneel is glaring at him over the top of her wine glass.

“You signed a contract,” she says bitterly and Jared throws Jensen an annoyed look. He had wanted to inform Danneel before he went on stage, but he’d let Jensen talk him out of it with a blow job in the bathroom.

But when Danneel lowers her wine glass, there’s a pleased smile on her dark red lips and suddenly Jared finds himself the newest – and likely _only_ – intern of master director Christian Kane.

It’s not a bad job, he supposes.

End.

**Author's Note:**

> And so we get to another Big Bang - my fifth overall. Man, but it has been a wild ride!!
> 
> I'm not really sure where the idea for this fic came from - someone posted something about a gay porn site on my Tumblr, as far as I can remember, and I thought I'd like to write something about that world. But the finished product is SO far from the idea I'd first had it's not even funny, lol. And my porn star aspect kind of got lost along the way, so I'm sorry if this fic isn't what you were expecting. I hope you enjoyed it anyway.
> 
> I have no idea if the AMA's is a real thing, and I don't know how the porn business runs, so please take this with a huge pinch of salt, lol.
> 
> I'd also like to apologize to Tom Welling - I needed a bad guy, and I realized towards the end that Tom was the perfect person, since he was already a part of Jared's life. And to Brock Kelly, I'm sorry for turning you into a whiny, entitled little bitch, lol.
> 
> I'd like to thank my artist, for choosing my fic and working with me. You produced some really amazing work for me, so, yeah, thank you.
> 
> To my betas, and , thank you both so much for taking the time to read over this rambling story and helping me to make it better.
> 
> To , just, as always, thank you for always being there.
> 
> And last, but certainly not least, thank you to and for another amazing year!
> 
> I'll see ya soon!!


End file.
